We're Back!

As usual, Mickey showed us a good time. But before I get too into vacation stories, let me first relieve you all by saying: My dogs survived!! I know you were all just as worried as me, right? Turns out, despite my fretting, they enjoyed themselves in doggie day care every day, ate well, and came home just as tuckered out as Jesse and I. In fact, they had such a good time, they really didn't even seem to be terribly excited to see me when we picked them up. (Gasp!) I was actually really relieved at this, because I could tell they were feeling so comfortable at the boarding place. Now that we have done it once, I think it will be much easier to do it again. Not that I want to anytime soon, but it's just nice to know that they didn't stress the whole time. In fact, they came home with a nice little report card that filled me in on their little vacation.

Okay, so now that the important stuff is out of the way and you can all breathe again...

This year, we stayed at Coronado Springs, which is probably our favorite thus far. The grounds were really nice and I think our room may have been recently redone. It was all fresh and pretty. Plus, it's a convention center so they had a lot of nice amenities, like a gym, which I only used once, but Jesse used a number of times.

Below is a shot inside our room, just as we arrived - before unpacking and messing it all up!

And here's the exterior of part of the resort below. There are 3 areas, each themed slightly differently. The building we were in was 4 stories, but you can see this one only has 2 levels. Either way, they were all really nice and happy festive.

We spent the day we arrived just walking around the grounds and had dinner at a place called Maya Grill at the resort. It wasn't very good. In fact, it may have been the most bland meal of my life. For instance, my "salad" was greens...no dressing...no other vegetables. We decided our chef was passive aggressive against vegans and vegetarians. =) The menu had zero vegetarian options - which is really unusual. Most places list at least one meatless option. Anyway, this made it difficult to order, especially since I decided I wanted to go vegan on vacation. (Vegan = nothing with any animal products at all, including dairy, honey, etc. - I will tell you more stories of my vegan adventures later.) Anyhow, despite the bland meal, we had a great first evening at the resort.

I noticed the below newspaper headline as we were buying a little snack in the food court, and couldn't help but take a photo. I hadn't considered the impact of the recession on the feminist movement, but this decade is writing a big shift, and for a minute, I was envious of all sociology students when I read the headline - what discussions to be had! I'm saddened that the wage gap is closing in this manner, but excited to see how this all plays out in terms of equity and resources. What would Marx say??? Anyway, that is another blog post all together, so let me move back to vacation!

The next day, we headed to Magic Kingdom in the morning, which is what people usually think of when they think Disney. It's the traditional Princess/Castle type thing, and though neither Jesse or I care much for castles or Princesses, it's a right of passage to have your photo taken in front of the castle, so we happily conformed. =)


Here's us at the tail end of riding Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, one of our favorites at Magic Kingdom.

Magic Kingdom is fun, but it's neither of our favorite parks. So, we decided to only do a half day there, and left for lunch at another nearby resort, and then headed over to Epcot. We met up with my parents, brother and sister-in-law at Epcot. While we were waiting, I had fun playing with the mirrors and trying to get a self-photo that had both of us in it. I think I did pretty well.



Once my family showed up, I had to do the same with all of them.


Had a great afternoon at Epcot, riding Test Track and Soarin' - two of our most favorite. For dinner, we went to the Polynesian Resort and ate at a place called Ohana. Unlike our passive aggressive Maya Grill chef, the chef at Ohana was amazing. His name is Chef TJ, and I had actually read about him online before we left. He is known for treating vegans very well, and lived up to his reputation. He came out to the table to talk with me, and explained that he would be making me a special seven course dinner, then warned me to pace myself. After that, he personally delivered each course to our table and explained to me what was in each dish. He was stinking awesome, the food was beautifully presented, and I could not have asked for better.

The above is course four. I had: 1) hummus and the best baba ghanouche of my life 2) grilled bok choy with mushrooms in yummy sauce 3) spicy ginger soup 4) wraps with pineapple and avocado spears, cucumber stuffed with chili (above photo) 5) main dish of tempura fried asparagus, tofu, rice, fried noodles and other general yumminess 6) lychee in coconut milk with berries 7) tofutti with fruit and chocolate syrup. My terrible descriptions would surely make any chef cringe...apologies to Chef TJ! He explained to me all the ingredients and cooking methods, but it was so much to take in, I just can't remember it all! All I really remember is that he used Hawaiian beer for the tempura because of the yeast in it. Otherwise, I just remember it was yummy, Chef TJ treated me with excellent service, and my tummy was so very full when we left. Later that night, we went back to Epcot for a bit, watched fireworks from the monorail, and climbed into bed late...still with a full tummy.

The next day we went to Animal Kingdom, which is my favorite park. The themeing alone warrants a day of viewing, let alone the attractions. (It would have to be on my top ten coolest jobs list to be a Disney set designer - they do a great job.)

Here's my parents happily checking out some birds.

Jesse and I with Expedition Everest in the background. Last year when I rode this, I seriously considered the thought that I may die on it. Never again, but I would recommend that everyone to do it at least once! Fishies...they were so pretty in real life - orange and blue.
Our last full day we decided to take it easy. We went to Downtown Disney, a shopping/entertainment district, browsed stores, then had some lunch and headed back to the resort. We spent the afternoon lounging by the pool, which was an awesome way to end vacation.
Below is the view I had from my lounger and I don't think it could get any better! He looks so peaceful. Unfortunately, when Jesse called to check flight loads the next day, we learned that they were really full. Our best hope of getting out of Orlando meant we had to be on the first flight out. This also meant we had to be up at 2am something (1am something Missouri time) in order to catch the bus to the airport and be there in time for the flight. We ended up getting the last two open seats on the plane and were extremely thankful. They had already announced to all standby passengers that the flight was full and they were rolling everyone over to the next flight out, but we decided to stick around the gate just in case. I'm glad we did, because at the last minute, they called us and we cruised on right before it pulled away from the jet bridge. We got home, bleary-eyed and tired...

My only complaint is that it was not long enough!

Almost Time!

Thought I'd squeeze in one more blog before vacation. Also, I may or may not be procrastinating because I told myself I would clean clean tonight. Not just clean - full on clean clean. Including floor mopping, weeding out the funky junk what the crap is that growing on the leftovers from two weeks ago in the fridge, all around scrubbing. I like to do this every year before we go on vacation. Something about coming home to a nice, clean, organized house.

Plus, I have been painting more recently, and being as I do not have a designated "art room" like I did in Colorado, I may have possibly dripped onto the kitchen floor. I have a problem. It seems I cannot create anything without getting something else dirty, no matter how hard I try. Ask my mom what the carpet in my old bedroom cost to replace. =) Anyway, maybe one of these days I'll post some pics of the paintings. I've been in some weird Rothko zone the last year or so. I never really used to have appreciation for Rothko or anyone in that general genre, but I have come to recognize him as a genius of color and have become a pretty outstanding fan. Like most great things in life, you have to understand the history in order to appreciate - if you just take it at face value, it's not going to impress - but that's only because you are ignorant. (Ignorant in the true sense of the word where you just don't know, not ignorant in the insult sense of the word.) Jesse mentioned at some point this semester he has to go to the Nelson-Atkins for some research, and I'm excited to tag along. It's been a while since I've been, and in fact, I have only been to the new Bloch building once or twice. It will be good to go again...though it will probably put me into some funk and cause a struggle all over again with that stupid art monkey that won't get off my back. I miss it. I love it. I hate it. I cleaned out the office the other day - well I should say, I am in the process of - cleaning out the office. Of course, I came across all these drawings and what not...which of course make me question over and over again. The weird thing is, I really do like it, but I also really do hate it.

Sigh.

Anyway, so when we get back, I am sure I will have a flurry of fun photos to post! What am I most excited for...hmmm... Jesse is stuck with me all day every day. Yep, that's the best part. I even like sitting in airports in between flights with him. I can say really bad words and make extremely inappropriate jokes without having to retract. It's great.

Horton and Monkey are boarding for the first time ever. Much harder on me than them I am sure! I am making Jesse do the deed and drop them off. Otherwise, no doubt I will start my vacation in tears. "My doooogggggssss....will they be okay? Do they know I'm coming back? Do they know I'm not leaving them?" I think if they didn't have traumatic pasts, it wouldn't be such a big deal. But, Horton was abused at some point, randomly given away at another, and Monkey was dipped in pesticides and starving when we found her...so I just want some security for my little furry loves.

Speaking of furry loves, I should let them in from the back yard so that Monkey can totally and completely annoy me while I am cleaning because she wants to sniff everything and eat the toilet brush and/or shower loofahs.

More Life in General

I guess fall is right around the corner. The nights have been cool and Jesse is back in full swing at school. I find myself a bit lost without the juggling of classes and work. It used to be that I spent 80% of my evening time writing papers or researching something. Now that I have no deadlines, I sometimes wander around the house aimlessly, trying to figure out what to do with myself. I never knew it, but maybe I am one of those people that likes to stay busy. The dogs get longer walks now days, the house projects are slowly getting caught up, and I've been cooking more, which I guess are all good things.

I was actually hoping to get into some classes this fall, just because I'm a nerd and I like to learn, but none of the classes that I wanted to take worked with my schedule. Maybe next semester. In the meantime, grad school continues to tempt me, but I also really like the idea of being curriculum-less and just taking classes as I please.

Jesse has a botany class right now, which I'm a tad jealous of. Maybe as the class goes on, he will get as excited over microherds as I do. Doubtful, but a girl can dream. Speaking of microherds, mine are super happy. I have frozen 23 bags of tomatoes so far this season, given away lots (to people and squirrels) and there are plenty more out there. Keep working little microbug wormie things and nematodes!

I found a few photos that I had dropped in my blog folder and never got around to posting, so I'll throw them up now.

My brother and sister-in-law were over a couple weeks back and brought their little dog. As you can see, Horton still loves to sit in the swing with people. Monkey has once or twice, but she can't sit still long enough for it be peaceful, so she generally avoids it. She does like to play with my brother's little dog though, but she and Horton play so rough that sometimes I worry about the little dude. He only weighs 8 lbs. or something crazy like that. Oh, and speaking of weight, we took Horton and Monkey to the vet last week and Monkey has definitely grown. She weighs 14lbs. more than when we first found her. In fact, she is just shy of Horton now, clocking in around 63lbs. Horton hovers around 70 in his old age. He was a trim 65 in his youth, but the vet said his weight right now is good for his age.

Anyway, my brother and his wife are expecting their first little one sometime in late Feb. or early March I think. Seems hard to believe that between our two families, Jesse and I have 12 nieces and nephews, and 3 more on the way! We are looking forward to meeting all of them!

My grandpa had his 25th wedding anniversary a couple weeks back as well. Jesse got the day off work so he was able to come with me, which I was very happy about. It was a nice ceremony, casual, fun, but still sweet and sentimental. This is our self-photo.
I had more photos of this event, but doesn't look like I have bumped any others over to the computer yet. I do, however, have snuggly dog photos to spare!

Nothing Much

I guess life has been pretty mundane lately since I don't really have anything in particular to blog about. I could, of course, always tell you stories about my dogs, but being that I am aware that I am one of those totally annoying people who blabs on and on about them, when in reality, no one thinks they are nearly as cute/funny/fill in the blank as I do, I will try to spare you the Horton and Monkey stories. Man, with the way I am with my dogs, when we do finally have kids, I am going to be totally and completely unbearable. Brace yourself for that one. (Don't worry, you've got plenty of time.)

So, in "outside of dog stuff", what can I tell you?

I got a sweet bike!! Well, technically, Jesse got me a sweet bike. He found a screaming good deal on craigslist for me and now I have a "real bike" with 27 thousand gears that I don't really know how to work and all kinds of stuff like that. If I would just purchase spandex shorts and gloves, I would look like I know what I'm doing. However, I have promised my ass that I will not subject it (or the general public) to me in spandex on a bike. (Although this fall, you will most likely see Jesse on display in some little tighties....apparently, there is just no better pant to run in winter than those arse tight ones...) Actually, when I see people running or biking in those tight spandexy outfits, I always just assume they are really serious and into the sport. And Jesse is quite serious and into the sport, so it makes perfect sense for him to suit up. He is kicking some serious butt in his running. I am very impressed and proud.

Speaking of Mr. Nikkel, he will be hitting the big 3-0 in a few months. (Ah, I can't believe it!) I think this deserves a big blowout, so we have been plotting what we should do. Jesse wants to do something that "makes him feel young". We are tossing around trip ideas, marathons, and some other fun things, but we will have to see how it all works out and how much cash flow is around. We'd really like to take advantage of United while we can, but who knows what the future holds. The airline industry is a shaky one at best. And no doubt trips would be out of the budget if we don't have his passes. We shall see!

Monkey

Monkey is obsessed with lights and reflections. Sometimes it's hard to get her to go outside into the backyard, because the glass on the back door reflects into the kitchen during certain times of day when you open the door, so she wants to stay in the kitchen and chase the light. She'll pounce on the floor, and chase it all around. She is very focused during this process, and once you close the door, she'll sit and stare at the wall or floor, wherever the last place the reflection was seen. I think she's waiting for it to come back. During other times of the day, the reflection stretches out into the backyard, and she enjoys chasing that one as well. I always wonder what she is thinking during these little chases...


(Oh by the way, the sound will be an issue again. We called Olympus and they told us we are going to have to send it in for repair. We are waiting until after vacation to do this though, because we didn't want to risk not having it back in time.)

Boulder or Bust

Back in January when they were bidding vacation days, Jesse randomly booked a weekend in July off, which happened to be this weekend. We have both been feeling slightly bored with day to day life recently and decided it would be good for us to have a little change of pace. So, Saturday morning we hopped on the early flight to Denver and then drove out to Boulder for the day with no major plans. We didn't actually take that many photos, and the ones we did take aren't that great, but here are some none the less.

It was hazy when we landed, so you could only see the base of the foothills from the airport. Here we are waiting for the shuttle to go get our rental car.

The drive into Boulder. Skies had cleared, so we had a great view driving in.

Just hanging out...

We went down to Pearl Street Mall (a pretty well known Boulder landmark). They were having an art fair this weekend, so we strolled through that for a bit and then browsed a few shops. We split a yummy lunch of tomato/basil panini and summer berry salad. Of course, Jesse opted to take a photo of me just seconds after I had stuffed my mouth with salad...thus the odd smile.

After Pearl Street Mall, we were both super thirsty and craving smoothies, so we searched for a smoothie shop to no avail, and finally ended up at a little coffee shop. We have tried smoothies at a few different coffee shops, and should know by now...they are always gross or artificial tasting. These were unfortunately no exception and left both of us feeling a bit queasy. Ironically, as we were leaving we noticed a smoothie shop just a few doors down....

Our final stop was at the Boulder Running Company. Jesse found lots of stuff to pine for, but ultimately came away empty-handed. (I got lots of good Christmas and birthday ideas for him though.)

One thing we both loved about the culture in Fort Collins/Loveland was the dog-friendliness of the city. Every third or fourth car would have a dog along for the ride, and nearly every other car had a dog gate installed in it. The store Jesse worked at let dogs come in with their owners, and sometimes they would be running around my work as well, and you would for sure see lots of them laying beneath cafe tables as their owners had lunch or coffee on the weekends. Boulder was no different. We spotted dogs all over the place and logos letting people know their pups can come along for the shopping errands.
Perhaps the only thing that could have made the day better is if we had Horton and Monkey along for the ride. =)

One last mountain pic before it was time to say good bye to Colorado again...

Math

This:

Plus This:

Equals This:


Monkey is still learning the rules of the world. We have tried to give her tons of exercise to prevent the above photos! Apparently, this day we failed at that. For her age though, we are lucky we have not had more incidents like this. She is probably even younger than we thought when Jesse first found her. We thought she was about a year old when he found her, but since getting her, she has grown another couple inches, so we're thinking she is probably still quite a young pup. All in all, if she's still less than a year old, she is actually doing quite well in her training. It is funny to watch her as she develops her skills. For instance, she gets SO excited when I get home from work, so she wants to jump. Of course, we do not want this, so I immediately tell her to "sit" when I walk in now. What this translates to when she is excited is "touch butt to ground and LEAP back up". It is generally quite cute and funny, since she does display that she understands what you are asking of her, but she does it in her own crazy puppy way. Next step: the "stay" command!

Vegan Ice Cream: Round One

Ever since seeing the cover of The Vegan Scoop, I have had a one track mind, looking forward to trying my hand at making my own vegan ice cream. Unfortunately, I never located a copy of the book to thumb through. Library didn't have it, and neither did Barnes and Noble. I did a google search for recipes, and for the first time, my dear google failed me. Granted, I was looking for a very specific recipe. Anyway, through all my searching, I browsed probably 50 vegan ice cream recipes, so I got a good handle on the basic themes and important ingredients, and then decided to make up my own recipe from there. I made chocolate-peanut-butter, not really knowing what to expect. Vegetarian products and recipes are very hit or miss, and I assume vegan ones to be even more so. I was pleasantly surprised with the end result, especially considering we don't own an ice cream maker. (Apparently, the constant motion and stirring of the machine is what makes the consistency creamy and not icy.) I used unsweetened almond milk for the base, so it actually has some healthy virtues, like loads of vitamin E and lots of trace minerals. Sugar is the only bad thing in it, and next time I plan to scale way back on the sugar anyway because my only end complaint this round was that it was a little too sweet. But, now that I know it actually works with some success, we can start branching out to other flavors....mmm...

Weekend Happenings

I had started a post over the weekend and never finished it up....so I'll just post some photos and give a quick recap. Jesse and I had an entire day off together on Friday! (Rare with our work schedules.) We went out for lunch and then took the pups for a 3 mile walk/jog which they thoroughly enjoyed. (So did we.) Saturday I walked in a parade for the shelter. (My mom has recently joined me in volunteering there, so she walked in it as well.) Jesse and I skipped fireworks that evening. They are nice, but really, you've seen one show, you've seen them all. Anyway, then came Sunday, where good news was had - one of the dogs who has been at the shelter for about 3 years got adopted! There is a rag tag core group of dogs that are there week in and week out, so it is always so sweet to see one of the "regulars" find a home. In any case, that is the short version of my original intentioned post!

On Diet

This summer I hit number three in vegetarian adventures. By now, it fits into my life style pretty easily. It definitely took a few months of learning how to survive in a culture that emphasizes meat as the main dish in every meal, knowing how to field questions from well-intentioned, yet ignorant people, and figuring out how to handle social situations - ordering at restaurants, going to friend's houses for dinner, having people over here for dinner, etc. While those things are generally no longer an issue for me, I do find myself feeling unexpected delight when I come into the company of other vegetarians or vegans and knowing they just know. Always, always when people find out I'm vegetarian, the question is "Why?" and usually, they have an opinion on it. So, there is something refreshing in being in like-minded company, especially when it's something that manifests as much as food issues do. As such, I have recently been super excited as Jesse has been making a noticeable number of casual remarks about taking the plunge into vegetarianism himself. Albeit, his reasons are different than mine. He is primarily interested in it for the health benefits, while I was more driven by the idea of compassionate consumption. (Though I can't deny I have really enjoyed the health benefits that come along with it.) Anyway, Jesse recently reserved a copy of The China Study, which a pilot recommended to him a year or two back. I guess it's a comprehensive study on nutrition, taking into account plant-based vs. meat based diets. I may steal it from him for a bit and have a little read myself. In the end, he may not ever choose to become a vegetarian and it is a decision that is fully his either way, but I am quite excited about the possibility of it!


As for me, I still mull over veganism quite a bit. Outside of food, I try to live a vegan lifestyle anyway, but diet-wise, dairy is the main thing that keeps me from making the leap. Cheese and milk in particular. Thankfully, we've been able to find sources for both that let me happily purchase without feeling like I am compromising. I'm to a point where I will probably try to eat vegan while out and about, but not at home, since I can control the source of our food at home. I know that will prove to be difficult, especially in social settings, and the odds that I will be able to do it 100% are slim. For instance, at work the other day, they saved cheese pizza especially for me, which was super considerate and thoughtful of my vegetarianism. Obviously, I'm not going to turn it down and say "Actually....I won't eat that cheese.", nor will I make my poor friends suffer more as they try desperately to figure out what I can eat when we come over. So, as with most things in life, do the best you can with what you have when you have it. At this point, I'm just going to be more mindful of it when I do have control over my food. As such, I've been wanting to expand my vegan recipes. I've been browsing cookbooks. Top of my list so far is The Joy of Vegan Baking, The Vegan Scoop, and The Vegan Table. Ironic that two of my top three are dessert-based! Actually, I often enjoy the process of baking more than the end result. (Though cookies aren't a bad destination.)

Still Playing with the New Camera

I really like the new little camera Jesse got me. We discovered the video mode....which just happened to be while we were at Sonic - could there be more perfect timing??! Jesse decided we should do our own Sonic commercial. (Not sure if the real ones are airing in Canada or not.) Anyway, I love how I am holding my cup with the logo so perfectly placed, though I'm pretty sure the real thing is a lot funnier than we are. Nonetheless, here you go - the first video taken on my new little camera.

It's The Little Things

I was driving home from the shelter this evening, and as I exited off the highway, I saw a turtle in the middle of the road. Thankfully I didn't hit it, but I knew his chances of making it across the road alive were slim to none. There was no safe place to pull off on the side of the road because there is no shoulder at this spot, so I drove a bit further and pulled into a business drive a little way down the road. I didn't really know what I was going to do, but I felt like since I had seen it, I should do something. So, I turned off the car, got out, and started running back down the side of the road, through the middle of weeds, thinking how stupid I must look to cars passing by, and watching the turtle, looking away each time a car drove by, because I knew I couldn't handle seeing him get squished right as I was on my way to move him. So, I made it to the point in the road where he was and ran out when the cars were clear to move him. I was a bit nervous picking him up, because I didn't know if he was a snapper or not, and I had Jesse's voice ringing in my ears, Turtles are notorious for disease. (We recently had a turtle discussion when we saw one walking the dogs the other day.) Anyway, I went a little deeper into the weeds, to try to make sure he didn't turn back around and get right back on the road. As I was doing all of this, I was also thinking about how I often see creepy people walking this stretch of road and I was a little nervous just walking out by myself. Of course, on que, as I turn around, there is an old rusty pick up truck stopped behind me with two guys in it who look....hmmm...I'll say "weathered". They both look serious and yell "Are you okay?" and I look right back at them, smiling like a big dork, and say "Yea, there was just a big turtle in the middle of the road that I wanted to move.", thinking about how they will either a) think I'm a stupid fool or b) perhaps jump out, kidnap me, and then brutally murder me. Instead, they both smiled and said "That's awesome!". So, I started jogging back to my car, and they drove away in their truck. I was relieved that I hadn't been kidnapped, so I was all happy jogging back to the car. Then I realized that they had turned around and were coming back. They slowed down again and yelled out "Hey, just want you to know, that's really great. Wish there were more people like that." and then sped away.

Of course, I smiled like an even bigger dork and kept running. Every once in a while, you have some exchange with a stranger that reminds you that the world isn't so bad after all. I also thought about how stupid and judgemental I had been toward them when I first saw them. You never know what package kindness will arrive in. Many cars passed me, but they were the only ones who stopped to see if I was okay. And then they were kind enough to stop again just to tell me that they liked what I had done.

Ahhhh...warm fuzzies.

Sweet Memories

I was bummed about the fact that we seemed to have lost all photos of our first ever house together in the move a few years ago. Yesterday when I got home, Jesse told me he had something that would make me very happy, and sat me down in the front of the computer to pull up the photos of our old house! I was very excited! The photos he found even included the ones he took the day we had the inspection done (before we closed and actually owned it). I had forgotten how nasty ugly it was when we bought it...and oh the horror of cat urine! We both joked that we don't know what we were thinking buying it. We had to remind ourselves that we were trying to buy for less than 140k, it was the middle of the housing boom, and most houses we looked at in our price range were literally crumbling off their foundation. This house was terribly ugly and wretched stinky, but since most of the stuff was cosmetic in nature, we snatched it up.

I had forgotten what all we did to it and the many long days working on it. One time I even fell asleep against the living room wall, holding a reciprocating saw in my hand. That was the night we were putting in the wood stove...if I remember right, it started snowing shortly after Jesse got all of the holes in the ceiling and roof cut, so the snow was just falling right into the living room. In fact, I believe at the point I fell asleep, Jesse was on the roof and I was waiting for him to come back down so we could start putting in the pipe. As I dozed off, I remember telling myself to stay awake, and thinking a) not smart for Jesse to be on the roof while it's snowing and b) not smart for me to be holding a reciprocating saw while feeling so sleepy. Somehow, we managed to get the wood stove put in that night and didn't have any trips to the ER. We also painted every square inch of wall and ceiling in that house. After that was done, I remember one Friday night, turning to Jesse and saying "I think we should paint the house this weekend!" (meaning the outside) and off to Home Depot we went to pick out paint. The next day I painted all day while Jesse was at work, and somehow managed to lock myself out of the house in the process. I remember thinking about how I could pee in the shed if I really had to go before Jesse got home. To this day, we still joke about the grand idea I had to paint the house in one weekend. Or the image of the Daytona loaded up with hardwood planks. There was 500sq feet shoved in there because we didn't have a truck, and we couldn't afford the delivery fee. Man, we did so many projects, and we did them all with such ghetto flair. That little hatchback served us well though. It was a very sad little car if I do recall. I remember driving behind Jesse one day, whom I could barely see through the thick black smoke, and praying that the Daytona didn't spontaneously burst into flames and kill Jesse. It lived through that day, and finally died on a mountain. Rest in peace, little buddy. Perhaps it is in used car heaven, right next to the beloved Dodge Aries. Anyway, we (and our cars!) worked hard on that house, and by the end of our time there, it had definitely become "home".

Ahhhh, little house...

how I miss you and all your sweet, ghetto, sweaty, stinky, cozy, loving memories...

Still fixing it up...

It is the perfect morning. It rained last night, so everything is nice and cool, the birds are singing, and all nature is quiet and content. I just came in from picking a pound and a half of sugar snap peas, Jesse's favorite garden veggie. Hopefully we will find time to relax today. Yesterday was a busy work day. Our replacement windows arrived, so we started in on that project. We also bought beadboard for the ceilings in the bedroom and office when we ordered the windows, so we started putting that up as well.

In keeping with our house projects theme, we measure the level of difficulty by the swear scale. Putting in wood floors = 3 sh*ts. Gutting the bathroom = 8 d*mns, 7 sh*ts, and 1 b*tch. Yesterday I was cracking up, as the scale officially tipped. We had a record number of f bombs, too many sh*ts to count, and many sons of b*tches. The project is not even done yet, and it is by far my least favorite. And judging by the colors flying out of Mr. Nikkel's mouth, I think it's safe to say he feels the same way. (In fact, for the record, of all of the "colors" that flew yesterday, I was only responsible for one. Not that I can blame him though, as Jesse really was doing most of the work.) The first window we started on had a lot of wood rot around it, so Jesse replaced most of the frame while I hung out in the other room and assembled a new desk for the office. The rot of course did not help, nor did the fact that our new neighbors had hired a professional to install replacement windows on their house on the very same day we started in on ours. That dude worked significantly faster than we did.

The first window we started on (well, actually Jesse did most of this by himself). Lots of wood rot in the frame....booooo....

On to the next, which went a lot faster, but still had some issues.
Nailing in some new flashing.

This is the reason we bought beadboard for the ceilings. You can't see it very well, but the old popcorn ceiling is alive and well in our office and bedroom. (Thankfully not the rest of the house though!) It is also starting to chunk off in random places, and may or may not contain asbestos. Putting up wainscot to cover it seemed a lot easier than doing an asbestos test and ripping it all down, then repainting the ceilings. Plus, if the test was positive, what a bugger that would be with masks, suits and the whole ordeal while doing the demo. You can also catch a small glimpse of the brass and glass light fixture straight from 1982 in this photo.
A self-photo taken while I was bracing up the paneling and Jesse was nailing it in. After the first failed attempt at holding the beadboard up while one of us nailed, Jesse created "the swooper". It is basically a t-shaped brace (which I am holding). The idea was that I would "swoop" under the paneling to raise it up and hold it in place while he was nailing to relieve some of the weight. Swooping action is much easier said than done, however, and I have the bruises to prove it.
We only got two panels of beadboard up, and the trim is still not back on the windows in the office. Plus, we have some major cleaning and organizing to do in there. Once we are finished completely, I'll post some of the after photos. Don't hold your breath though, because it may be a while before we get around to finishing it. We still have 5 more windows to install and beadboard for the bedroom. And we are debating about repainting all of the trim.

Poor little Horton was scared all day. Since we got him, he has always had a major fear of windows. I don't know what happened to him, but at some point, something very bad involving windows went down. When we first got him, you couldn't even adjust the blinds without him literally trembling in fear. I have never seen a dog literally shake in fear besides Horton with windows. I hate to think of what he went through or what those people did to him. He has come a long way since we first got him, and you can even adjust curtains in his presence now. But, there is still some sort of fear reaction in him, and yesterday was all just too much for him to handle with completely removing windows. Needless to say, he stayed as far away from the action as he possibly could.

Monkey was a different story. She wanted to be close. She decided it would be a good idea if she collected all of the toys she could find on the floor and line them up nicely on her bed. She did it so precisely in a neat little line.

Once she had her toys lined up in a row, I joked to Jesse "Isn't that a sign of autism in children?". (Monkey is a bit crazy.) No sooner had I said than, and we turned around to find her eating paint chips off the paint brush. She's not doing herself any favors in the joke department. (Don't worry, I took the paint brush away from her right away.) Actually, for as much as we make jokes about her, she's actually very smart. She just needs a job to do, or else she'll find one of her own...like lining up toys and eating paint chips. This is one reason I think she would enjoy agility, (which is still on my list of things to sign up for).

Anyway, the weekend is flying by much faster than I would like.

Later today I'm off to the shelter. I am heavily campaigning for a third (possibly fourth) dog. Jesse's question every time, is "But when will it stop?" and my answer is always "300 lbs." =)

New Camera

For graduation, Jesse got me a new camera. Now I don't have to lug around his big guns cameras anytime I want photos. I have been taking the new little camera around with us so that I can test it out. So, here are some of the first ever photos taken on it...none of which are good, but fun nonetheless.

He's Back

Jesse is back from Calgary, after running his first half marathon. You can see his results here. (Do a crtl+f to find him.) Not too shabby considering he had a very serious halt in training due to hernia surgery. Way to go Hernie!!

Food Inc.

I become increasingly passionate about the way we "do food" in America. As such, I am eagerly anticipating the release of Food Inc. in June. Please go see it!!

Life Lately

Lots of action around here lately. Jesse has been to Canada and back, but will be leaving again later this week for round two, which also happens to include his first half-marathon. Unfortunately, because of his surgery, he probably won't be able to run it as fast as he had planned. I'm bummed that I will miss his first race, but plan to be there with bells on for his first full marathon this fall.

Otherwise, we decided to forgo the garage conversion in favor of the less fun, but probably more responsible window upgrade. I think this was in part due to making a budget sheet at which point we realized we have no where near enough money to do the garage conversion. It's on hold for a later, more wealthy, date. Anyway, we ordered replacement windows yesterday at Lowe's, and I'm actually getting pretty excited about them. I hope to see a nice dent in our utility bills and I think they will make the house a bit cleaner looking. The old window panes have had nothing short of 500 coats of paint, which as you can imagine, does not leave the cleanest line. I think new windows will be cheery and clean, plus money saving, and tax crediting. Not a bad deal. So our big focus house-project-wise is on the windows and smaller details to get what we already have in top shape - finishing up some trim work, paneling in the flaking, potential asbestos ceilings in the office and bedroom, and organizing the messies. We figure by the time we are done with all of that, then maybe we can think again about doing the conversion.

In other happy news, we booked vacation!!! It sometimes seems hard to justify spending in a week what you would normally spend in two or three or four at home, but over the last couple years, I think we have both realized the value of annual vacations. One of the few times of the year when you really get away from everything and are able to actually give the other person your full attention with no agenda except relaxing and having fun. So, I am super excited to be going back to none other than Disney! When I called to book, she asked for my name and then said "Oh yes, I see you here in Mickey's address book." =)

Since booking, I have forced Jesse to sit through vacation video re-runs. Poor guy.

Anyway, I am seriously contemplating taking agility classes with Monkey. Well, agility or freestyle. I haven't decided which yet. I think it would be a lot of fun, and now that I'm done with school, I have some time for new hobbies. Plus, Monkey could definitely use a channel for her energy. Horton does not care to participate, though he did tell me that he would be happy to come and watch.

Oh, also, I officially said no to grad school. The dept. head said she understood my decision and that she hopes I can come in the future, so at least it was a positive no.

I guess that is about it. I'll have to get some photos on here soon. It's been a while.

Canuckless

I am without Canuck for the time being. Too bad, because the weather is perfection for a fire pit. I am tempted to make one for myself, but it seems kind of silly to make it just for me.

I went to lunch with my mom and then spent the afternoon on the back deck reading O magazine. There is a section this month all about animals, and one story in particular was about a lady who had to put her dog down. Of course, it made everything with Abe so fresh again and the waterworks started pumping, so I decided I needed to get out. I loaded up Horton and Monkey to take them for a little hike, but we needed gas first, so we made a quick stop at QT. This total macho motorcycle man pulls up at the pump opposite of me. Long hair, black leather, dark sunglasses. He says, "What are you doing with those dogs back there?" and I tell him we're going for a walk (mind you, this is all within 10 minutes of me reading the article and crying), and he says back to me, "I just had to bury my dog this morning. 14 years together." Lump in throat - check. So, we had a little chat about his dog and I told him about Abe, and we both agreed how hard it is to say goodbye. By this point, my plan to cheer up wasn't going so well! Anyway, eventually, we (as in me and the pups, not me and motorcycle man) made our way to a park by the river and had a nice three mile walk. I am not sure who enjoyed it most...cheered me right up, Horton was proud to pee on everything that stood more than two inches off the ground, and Monkey was convinced everyone had come to the park just to say hello to her.

Anyway, when we got back to the car, I had a voicemail on my cell phone from the dept. head at SFSU. Finally have a grad school decision! I gave her a call back, and was offered a spot with a nice stipend, but some of the details are complicated and I won't get into it all here. I had told myself I would say no, but it is proving to be harder than expected. I mean, I still think it may be best to say no, but I just didn't expect it to be this difficult to turn down. Anyway, I want to take a day or two to think it over and be sure that I am sure on my no.

In any case, for now, that's life without the Canuck.

Fun Gift

I received a fire pit last week as a graduation gift, which I am very excited about. My mom helped me assemble it, while Jesse looked on and laughed. (So what if we installed the doors upside down the first try??)



In any case, it was pretty warm out that day, but I insisted we try it out anyway.




We had a wood burning stove in our house in Colorado, so we were pretty good at lighting fires there. Since it has been a while though, I was very rusty. It's ironic...wildfires start all the time, yet when you are purposefully trying to start a fire, it proves to be more difficult. Anyway, I (er, okay....Jesse) eventually got it started.

Since that first day, I spent the week hoping for a good opportunity to use it again. That finally came last night, when it started to get cool as the sun was going down. My mom and Rich were down for a visit, so we busted out the stuff for smores and roasted marshmallows. I have no photos - but trust me, it was a perfect blend of sticky plus yummy.

Processing

When Jesse takes photos and eventually fills up his card, he downloads the photos to a folder called "card dump 5/08/09" or whatever the date is. The folder is jumbled up, with random photos from all kinds of events.

I feel a need for a card dumping of the brain.

Here are some sentiments from my head that I've been thinking a lot about the last couple weeks. Metaphorically speaking, some are stupid snapshots, some are accidental photos of the floor because the camera just happened to bump your thigh while you were walking, and some are formal, taken with a soft box and all. Here we go -

One of my professors once told me that my art is, "So you - subdued yet excited." That is how I feel tonight.

Regret. I should have learned more Spanish when we were in Nicaragua. I am not sure if I am more embarrassed or ashamed that I spent 2 months there and the only thing I really learned was how to order ice cream. So ethnocentric of me.

I miss Mr. David Curtis, the world's best sociology professor, and his thoughts. I have a huge craving for some good discussion in my life. I am thankful for Jesse, who has stayed up late with me a night or two to discuss spiritual matters.

I am still not sure if I am "healed", "have forgiven", whatever you want to call it, from experiences at Mercy Ships. I think it did deeper damage than I realized. I am actually pretty jacked up. And that doesn't really even bother me. I don't know if that is good or bad.

Does power corrupt or is it just coincidence that mostly slimy people come to power?

Sometimes I feel like I lose who I am in light of who I wish I was. Maybe it is just the human tendency to take for granted everything which is familiar and close, including yourself.

I have gained a new appreciation for women's lit. The dialogue is witty, so much social commentary between the lines. It makes me want to check out all the books I can with work from Sojourner Truth, Maya Angelou, and Phillis Wheatley. People have such beautiful things to say if we will only let them.

I still miss Abe. A lot.

I am excited to have some free time. Now that I am done with school, I can finally go back to learning for learning's sake. I hope I can get into a figure drawing class this fall.

I miss traveling, but I don't know why.

They say three things remain: faith, hope, and love. I have hope. I have love. But sometimes I don't know if I have faith.

Preach it, Dr. Greger!

I know you are all probably so sick of me harping on animal issues lately, but I just can't help myself. The swine flu has given me too much of an "in". Plus, it's my blog, so I can say whatever I want. =)

Immediately when I heard about the swine flue, my mind went to factory farming practices, and a feeling that we just brought this all on ourselves by grossly abusing the resources God has so generously given us.

So, I am posting something by Dr. Michael Greger, an expert in the study of clinical nutrition and the health implications of intensive animal agriculture on humans.

Here we go -

...The greatest change in our relationship with animals, however, has been the way billions are now raised for food around the world.

Factory farming practices have directly led to the emergence of deadly human pathogens including mad cow disease, Strep suis, Nipah virus, multi-drug resistant foodborne bacteria, and highly pathogenic strains of avian influenza. Although AIDS has killed 25 million people, the reason there is so much concern about influenza is that it is the only known pathogen capable of infecting literally billions of people in a matter of months.

With international attention now focused on the emerging H1N1 swine flu virus, it is important to reflect on how such viruses arise.

The first recorded emergence of a swine flu virus like the one we now face, incorporating both human and avian genes, was on a factory farm in North Carolina in 1998. When thousands of animals are crowded into filthy, football field-sized sheds to lie beak to beak or snout to snout atop their own waste, it can be a breeding ground for disease.

Though some within the meat industry have made commitments and acted to move away from some of the worst intensive confinement practices, others have instead sought to overturn laws meant to improve animal health. Last year, for example, the National Meat Association and the American Meat Institute brought a lawsuit to overturn a California law that would exclude pigs too sick or crippled even to walk from the human food supply, forcing producers to take better care of these animals.

A study of downed pigs published in 2008 in Livestock Science found that non-ambulatory pigs were significantly more likely to test positive for swine flu compared with pigs who could walk. More than half of the downed pigs were found to be actively viremic with swine flu virus, meaning that the virus was coursing through their bloodstream—53.8 percent were actively infected with an H1N1 virus and 51.9 percent with H3N2.

The meat industry trade groups argued, however, that it was okay to slaughter and process downed pigs for human consumption because swine flu wasn’t a threat. Now that the World Health Organization has declared swine flu a public health emergency, maybe industry will stop trying to undermine laws meant to protect animals and the public, and instead reduce the overcrowding and stress that helped lead to the emergence of such diseases in the first place.

Word!

10,000 Days

Last night as we were going to bed, Jesse told me that "if I did some math, I would know that tomorrow is a special day". Apparently, today is my 10,000th day alive. (I have yet to do the math to make sure that he calculated correctly.) Anyway, when I woke up, I had a nice card and a couple of ceramic dishes. (I am building up my collection for my dream kitchen.) When I got into the car to go to work, I found another small gift. Then I found two more later in the day. Plus, when I got home from work, he had made dinner, complete with a homemade dessert. I can't complain. Props to the Canuck!

All Grown Up

I've noticed a recent increase in the number of photography businesses that have popped up in this area. It got me thinking about where we (as in society) are headed in terms of technology and art. In many ways, despite the increase in the number of photographers, I feel like the art form of photography is slowly dying. Technology is enabling anyone, whether photographically knowledgeable or not, to be "a photographer". Digital cameras are becoming so good and so readily available that the average person can take some pretty good shots on the automatic mode. Likewise, photo editing software can do virtually anything and correct any mistake that you may have made while taking the photo. All of this definitely has big positives, but it also has some negatives. Good photographers are, in essence, no longer required.

It's almost like we are shifting from one art form to another. Photography itself is dying, but in the wake is another art form rising - digital manipulation of images.

I love the idea of new art forms, but I have to say, I kind of mourn the loss of those which they replace.

Jesse and I had many conversations when we lived in Tennessee that alluded to this very issue. For the longest time, he was very adamant that he would never go digital. He wanted to keep his film camera, keep his dark room equipment and stick with it. As his business grew, it became clear that if he wanted to stay in the world of photography, he would need to make the transition to digital. So, he did. That was 7 years ago. Today, digital has pretty much replaced film. Photographers who are going to school now won't be trained in dark room as much as they will be in Photo Shop. Chemicals and processing are a thing of the past. And, as a sad result, instead of adding art forms, we exchanged them.

While I know nothing about photography in terms of the technicalities and I in no way consider myself a photographer, nor am I even really all that interested in the art, I feel like I am mourning the loss of it. Not just because Jesse was a photographer, but just because. What I see happening with photography right now, I fear will shortly fall upon painters. I think on so many levels, I am concerned about where we are letting technology take us and what we are giving up in order to get there.

In so many ways, it is a good thing. Obviously, I'm thankful for technology. I love that we can Skype our family in Canada. I love that I can read blogs. I love that I can send messages instantly. I love that I can call Jesse while he's at the grocery store to tell him I forgot to add cereal to the list. I love that I don't have to know about photography to take decent photos. I love that in one glance of my computer screen, I can know exactly what 20 of my friends are doing on any given day.

But, sometimes I feel a bit sad about it all. It's like we've lost something along the way. Art, the ability to be alone with ourselves and feel okay about that, and a gratitude for the human connection are just a few areas that bring a hint of bittersweet sadness when I think about technology.

But, we can't be stagnant.

Maybe I am just getting older and that is my real issue. I'm to that age where I can't keep up with technology and trends, even though I feel like I am very young and should be up to date with the latest and greatest. Hallie recently told Jesse that she "played on the smart board". It brought on a conversation where Jesse and I reminisced about chalkboards. I thought to myself how different my kids school days will be from my own. And maybe every generation feels this at some point. It's like you just barely blink and suddenly you are a grown up and don't really know how it happened.

Hernie and Other Stuff

Jesse (who I now call "Hernie") survived his surgery last Monday and is recovering pretty well. He has a good 4 1/2" slice, so it will be a while before he will be able to fully bend or do all the things he used to do. All in all though, I think things went as smoothly as they possibly could. The post-surgery, druggie Jesse is much more social than the regular Jesse. He had me laughing a lot in his little recovery area, though I felt kind of bad for doing so. He was chatting up the nurse, the anesthesiologist, pretty much anyone who came by, recounting the story of his Nicaraguan EKG, asking for some rum with his post-surgery Coke, and just generally being a social butterfly. Because of his meds, he hasn't been allowed to drive. I think he was starting to feel a lot of cabin fever, so we went out yesterday to grab a bite to eat and do a bit of shopping. We are hoping he is totally med-free by Monday and will be able to go out and about to prevent the stir-crazy. We still don't know if worker's comp is approving it or not, so we don't know when he will go back to work. It's all very complicated with the union and worker's comp stuff. If they (worker's comp) don't approve it, he can't go back to work for 6 weeks, because he has to have full release from the surgeon to perform all parts of his job, and the surgeon of course won't release him to lift anything over 20 lbs for at least 6 weeks. But, if they do approve it, then he can go back to work right away, under the "light duty" label, and work upstairs at the ticker counter. So, right now we are in limbo, waiting to hear the outcome of all that.

Otherwise, I have 14 days of school left and I'm feeling pretty happy about that! It will be a busy couple weeks, finishing up papers and taking finals, but it will be so nice to be done! I still haven't heard about the grad school decision, but we have pretty much decided I would say no anyway. I am really liking my new job and don't want to give it up. Plus, I guess they are moving part of the program or expanding or something, because they called me last week to ask if I would be willing to do one semester at SFSU and then move to New Jersey to do the practicum. Nothing against Jersey, but it's not high on my list of places I'd like to move. In fact, it's right near the bottom, just above Kentucky and Tennessee. So, grad school is pretty much out of the equation at this point. Which means, now that we know I'm not moving across the country, we can look at putting new windows in the house, planning vacation, and fun stuff like that!

In any case, I'm off to the dog shelter soon to fall in love with more pups, wonder why in the world no one wants to take them home, and then wish so badly that I could. We have some real gems in the shelter right now. Anyway, I should wrap up the blogging, but I will leave you with some shelter trivia.

(I follow Wayne Pacelle's blog, which is where I get all these facts from. He is the main man of the Humane Society.)

30 years ago, 15-20 million dogs and cats were euthanized annually. Today, that number is down to about 4 million, which is super happy, amazing progress, but still also sad because it's totally preventable. Bob Barker said it best: "Please have your pet spayed or neutered."

Currently, only about 20% of dogs (in homes) come from shelters and rescue groups. If that number increased to just 35%, the issue of euthanasia and homeless dogs would be nearly solved. And that is huge, not just for animal welfare, but think about the number of tax dollars that get funneled into this issue - imagine all the other places we could use that revenue.

And though I love a good mutt (Horton and Monkey!), there are a number of pure bred pups (Abe and Riley!) in shelters and rescues groups - at least a quarter of them are pure bred.

So, yeah for shelters and doggies! Saturday is our biggest adoption day, so here's hoping I get some good news this afternoon...

Roller Coaster Life

It is definitely time for a new post, as otherwise, every time I log into my google account, I see the heading "Goodbye, Old Friend" and immediately feel my heart sink.

First, thank you everyone who e-mailed us, left a comment, stopped by, or called in regards to Abe. Little things make a big difference and it was special to us to know that others were thinking of him. For anyone who doesn't know, we got Abe when we lived in Colorado. We had just come off a very rough and utterly soul-deflating time at Mercy Ships. We didn't have any family there, and we only had a hand full of friends (if even that). In many ways, life was so very lonely. Getting Horton and Abe was like a breath of fresh air...two creatures who loved us just for us and had no agenda for changing us or improving upon our personalities. For that reason, and many others, Abe was one special pup. So thank you all for realizing what he meant to me...for not mocking me for being so heartbroken "over a dog"...and for letting me cry and hurt.

I don't know if I will ever stop missing Abe, but life has given me plenty to smile about.

Like tonight... I got home from work to find this:



Yes, that's Jesse just hanging out in the tub, reading a magazine...wearing nothing except a fleece and toque...and yep, that's a big bag of ice...just when I thought it couldn't get weirder. I'm emphatically told that "Runners do it". Something about drawing acid out of the legs and making it not hurt so much the next day. (He had completed his 15 mile run this afternoon.) Whatever the reason, I just think it's too funny to come home and find your husband sitting in a tub of ice water, wearing a toque, casually reading a magazine as if there is nothing strange about the situation...and the fact that he is Canadian is the icing on the cake.

Anyway, speaking of getting home from work... I start a new job next week! It's at a non-profit that I used to volunteer with when I was in high school. I'm still a little bit in shock....a job I actually want?? A job with co-workers I like?? An organization I could actually see myself staying with for years?? *Gasp!* Could it really be?? I will say though, while I'm excited and still a bit in awe that it all worked out how it did, when it did, I am nervous. The whole "is this too good to be true" type of thing... It's full time, doing some administrative and accounting stuff. As my mother-in-law can attest, I don't know terribly much accounting. She pretty much taught me what I know and the rest I learned by fumbling my way around Quick Books. I hope that I was able to portray an honest evaluation of what I do/don't know in the interviews. I think I am a quick learner, but I am a bit intimidated as it sounds like a pretty complex system they have going. So, I just hope I can do a good job and that I can bring something to the table that can be valued - and in that last part, I'm not just talking tasks - I can't handle a Mercy Ships repeat, so let's hope this round is redemption.

In any case, so next week is a big week not only because of the job, but also because Jesse has his big surgery on Monday. We have been preparing: trial Netflix subscription, check. Bed to set up in living room, check. Grocery shopping for "get better soon" food, check. I think he will do just fine, but I know whatever happens we will get through it.

In the meantime, I will leave with you some photos of none other than us and the dogs! I think I have set a record for dog photos/posts in the last month. So much happening in the doggie world, you know...

Goodbye, Old Friend

Dear Abe,

I don't know how to say bye to you. I'm so sorry it ended like this. I wish it didn't have to be this way. I wish I could have given you better in your final days. I wish you didn't hurt. I wish I could take all the pain away. I hope I didn't keep you here too long. I hope I didn't keep you here too short. I hope I wasn't blind to your pain because I selfishly just wanted to keep you with me forever. I don't know why the world can be so cruel sometimes. I know you didn't deserve the cards life handed you. I have so many good memories because of you. You will always stay in a deep, deep place in my heart. You were so determined in everything. I guess you knew you were coming into a house full of stubborn heads, and decided in your heart to outdo all of us. You kept us up for hours when it thundered outside. You shredded the mini blinds when Jesse and I went to the U2 concert. You ran through my mom's screen door and knocked the entire thing out. You barked and barked and barked. And when we'd scold you, you would squint up your eyes and look to the side and you made it so hard for us to be serious because of your funny, mischievous face. You sass barked me under your breath every time I made you stop something. You always made me laugh. And when I'd cry, you would hunker down and leave the room. You didn't ever want to see me sad. And at night when I was home alone, you comforted me. The sound of your breath at the foot of the bed made me feel like I wasn't so alone, and the world wasn't so scary. I hope I was able to give you at least some of that feeling today, but I wish I could have done better. I'll miss your courage, your heart, your happy, alert ears bobbing up and down on walks, your big, deep bark, your monster paw reaching out to me for attention. There is nothing about you I won't miss - nothing. I hope you know that. You will always be my Big Abe, and you will always be loved. Goodbye, old friend.

Mastery

I've been thinking a lot lately about mastery. There are many people I know who have had a straight path in their career, and who have essentially become masters of their domain. They know specific, in-depth information about their field. My mom, for instance - as far as I know, she wanted to be a teacher as a child and grew up to be one. She now knows a ton about kids, child development, disorders, legal issues within education. Essentially, I consider her an "expert" on the topic. Other friends of mine wanted to be doctors from the time they were 10, and off to med school they went and are now practicing. They are medical experts.

And then there's people like me. When I was a kid, I can remember wanting to be a number of things: marine biologist, real estate agent, actress, missionary, vet, interior designer, midwife, surgeon... I never just "knew" what I wanted like some people seem to know. As a result, today I have a wide range of shallow knowledge on a number of topics. No doubt a result of my trying a number of career and educational paths. I can tell you about various cultures, dog training, art, the entire flea life cycle, accounting, and even spell it all out for you in sign language if you really wanted...accented with a few French or Spanish phrases here and there. While I can tell you the basics of those topics and many more, I can't give you in-depth knowledge about any of them (nor can I speak fluently in ASL, French, or Spanish). I am not an expert at anything. Whereas, some people know a lot about a little (experts), I know a little about a lot (jack of all trades perhaps?) (Disclaimer: Just in case that last sentence came out wrong - I'm not saying experts don't know anything outside of their field, I'm just pointing out how deep their knowledge of one specific field goes.)

I suppose both have their right place in society, but I must admit I do at times envy the experts. How did one topic capture and hold your attention so that you were able to learn and grow so deep and rich in it? Did you ever wonder if you were missing out on anything else? Is it just a matter of discipline? Are jack of all trades people like me just basically flaky or are we brave?

It's just that, few things in my life have "stuck" and I don't know why. I know it's not for the lack of sincerity, but I suppose I get bored and want to move on to the next shiny thing that catches my eye. Does this just mean I haven't found my "thing" or is this just an inherent part of my personality, where I'm forever doomed to wander to and fro?

Sigh. Who knows.

At least the biggest commitment I ever made has stuck. One "thing" that still holds my attention, fascinates my mind, and warms my heart. But, last time I checked they weren't hiring experts on Mr. Nikkel.

A New Look

I'm playing around with a new look for this, so it may look awkward for the next few days and/or weeks until I figure something out. I really miss the Mac. Photo stuff was so much easier on there! So bear with me as I change things around and it looks funny or weird or out of place until it all settles in. =)