Random Ramble About Vacations and Weddings

Every year around this time, Jesse and I start to talk vacations. We have definitely realized the worth in getting away and how much refreshment a vacation can bring, so we've tried to make it a priority the last few years. With Jesse's graduation looming in the next year or two, and our 10th anniversary coming down the line in 2 years, we have debated if we should skip a vacation this year, and save up the money to take a bigger "blow out" vacation before Jesse leaves United and so that we can do something really cool for our 10th - maybe go back to Kona, go on an African safari, or try to spend 2 weeks backpacking around Europe. Of the latter two, I told Jesse that it's hard sometimes to tell if they are things I really want to do, or if they are things I really just want to be able to say I did. I am so thankful that both Jesse and I have gotten to travel and see other cultures, and the value of it has been tremendous. Even so, every passing year, I seem to become more tame in my adventure tastes. I think it's a combination of realizing that I kind of have it great just where I am, and that life isn't as invincible as you once thought it was. Depressing thought, but the older you get, the more people you lose along the way, and at some point, you realize that tomorrow is not a guarantee. I guess you'd think this would be all the more reason to take a big trip and see the world, but at the same time, when you are keenly aware that everything in life that is the most joyful is right under your roof, the world loses some appeal. Sure, I'd love to eat some pastries while looking at the Eiffel Tower; I'd love to see a pack of elephants wondering the wild, and no doubt those moments would make me happy, and let's face it - I'd have awesome bragging rights. =) But for as happy/cool/exciting as those moments would be, I don't know if they compare to the regular every day moments that I have just hanging around all the things that fill my soul up; Jesse, my dogs, my gardens, my little itty bitty house. It's a different kind of excitement I guess.

So, all that to say, we aren't totally sure what we will do. I think most likely we will have a little trip back to Disney (possibly without even going to any of the parks this round) and then we will start saving for a big blow out next round....doubtful it will hit right on our 10th anniversary, but even if it hits on the 9th, we can say we are celebrating 10 years of being together....what's a marriage license anyway? Commitment has very little to do with it. Speaking of which - I would like a do over wedding.

Jesse and I have talked about this... we were so young, and at that stage in life, you have this idea of what things are supposed to be and what people who get married act like and this is what you do and blah blah blah. So, we did that. We had the big wedding, the fluffy white dress, the tuxedos, the catered dinner, the big pretty chapel, the nice cake.... and it was nice and all, but it was so not us!! I wish I would have known myself better at that stage. All I know is if we were getting married today - it would for sure be outside, rain or shine. My dogs would definitely be walking down the aisle at some point, and if someone showed up wearing a tuxedo, I would kick them out! Silly fanciness....I don't care for it. Other people love it...many of my friends really enjoy dressing up nice and going out. I guess that is how some women feel fairy-tale-ish in a wedding dress.

I distinctly remember walking down the aisle, when the doors opened up and I heard that wedding march music, and I remember thinking to myself how stupidly corny and cheesy I felt in that moment. Almost embarrassed. And for years, I replayed that moment in my head, and wondered what it was all about...after all, if we are playing the "supposed to be" game, it should have been one of the happiest moments of my life, and I should have felt beautiful, not stupid. And I always kind of struggled with processing that. Why would I feel that way and what does it mean and blah blah?

I think now I finally know. I was as opposite of my true self as I could be in that moment. I don't like wearing restricting clothes that I can't move well in, or that I am afraid to get dirty in. I don't like wearing high heels. I think Jesse looks silly in a tux (who wears those, really!?), I definitely don't like having a room full of people staring at me, and I definitely don't care for "Canon in D" by Bach or whoever!! But, because I was supposed to do those things, I did. And I just felt silly and stupid. Then I spent years thinking something must be wrong with me, because why would I not have anything but happy memories of my wedding day? (Don't get me wrong - I do have happy memories, but I also have a lot of "oh my gosh, I feel so stupid right now" type of memories.)

I think honestly the ONLY thing I would repeat is the groom. That was a very wise choice, one that fits who I am perfectly. The rest... just kind of makes me laugh now. But, I am happy to have reached that place, where now instead of feeling odd or guilty that maybe my wedding day wasn't all it's cracked up to be, I finally kind of have an idea of why and I don't have to worry that I am some strange person just because I can't say "It was my fairy tale!" like I've heard so many other women say. Fact is, I think it was a corny day, full of cheesy cliches. But, even so, I'm thankful for it - thankful for what it meant, thankful for our parent's generosity in providing exactly what I asked for - even if I was too young and naive to realize that I could ask for anything, (Like "can you clip this little ring pillow on my dog's collar and walk him down the aisle?" or "can we please not have anyone 'officiate'"?)

Anyway, I was young. I was ignorant of myself. But thankfully, by some amazing grace, Jesse and I have grown at the same pace. We doubt together, we realize together, we grow up together. And that's pretty cool....(even if it did all officially begin with lyrical music.)

Okay, so what was I saying about vacations...lol!? I think what I was saying was that I am back in that place - do we just want to go on some big blow out vacation because that seems like what a couple should do if they were in our situation? Or would we be happier with some Mickey Ears and a big carmel apple shaped like Donald Duck? (They don't really have those, but wouldn't it be cool?)

The beautiful problem is, sometimes you have to do these things to figure them out. Go to Disney and maybe ten years later, I will look back and say "What the heck!? Why didn't we got to Europe!?" or go to Africa and ten years, look back and say "I would have enjoyed the fake safari at Animal Kingdom more!"

Ah, life, you're a lovable bitch!

Bad Bean

Somebody decided his Kong toys were not as much fun as the pillow. (In his defense, the pillow was on the floor and he is only 10 months old.) I did really like that pillow, but more than that, I love the chaos that can be dogs.

Easter Weekend

Easter weekend was like every other weekend - it went by way too fast! Here are a few pics...


We dropped off the dogs at Pete and Mac's and then headed up to my mom's house yesterday. Our newest niece is not quite 2 months old yet, but Grandma very much enjoyed watching the silly baby expressions.

I also got in some baby time...

And Uncle Jesse humored me and took a photo with Jada and I, but that is as close to her as he got. He declared yesterday, that since his rule of not touching babies has been effective for 30 years, he intends to keep it like that until his own baby shows up someday.

After eating yummy food and being treated to some early Easter Bunny presents, we headed out to retrieve the dogs. They always come home from Pete and Mac's with report cards, which make me smile. (Great marketing, whoever thought of it!) When we lived in Colorado, we went to the dog park every weekend, and I used to make fun of the people there who took their dogs to daycare places and then talked about their grades at the park. Now I am one of "those people". Bean and Monkey were reported to be party animals, with Bean being very popular with all the other dogs, and Monkey enjoying her time with one specific dog, "flirting". (We believe this is code for humping.) Horton got "fantastic" on his report, with notes that he loved watching all the action.

Today, we woke up to beautiful weather, so Jesse and I headed over to one of our favorite trails to do some bike riding.

Jesse has been practicing his "bunny hop", and this was the best photo I got of it. Too bad I cut off his head! At least you can see that he is getting some air!

By the river...will be much pretty in a month or two when the trees green up. Plus, we just had a bad storm, and there was a lot of debris around/on the trail.


After biking, we grilled out for lunch and both agreed that we thought people who decided to eat a big Easter dinner inside were crazy to be missing out on the great weather! In fact, it was so inspiring, we did a bunch of yard work after lunch.

Bean and Monkey were horrible good helpers, picking up all the sticks they have tossed about the yard.

Horton isn't interested in sticks, but the hose is another story!

My snow fountain cherry was at the peak of beauty today! It is so big and full right now. (The stakes all over the yard in the background are our attempt at keeping the dogs out of patchy areas of lawn that we just over seeded.)


I think this is the best photo we have gotten of Bean. He was pretty happy looking out into the backyard.

And that pretty much sums it up!