Mushy Brain

I've been working on writing an English essay for three hours and need a break. Normally I don't mind writing, but this paper sucks. I shouldn't dwell on that though. Good things are that tomorrow is Friday. We have a house under contract. We will get to go furniture shopping soon. We had brunch at IHOP on Tuesday and I picked out paint colors for our house. Now, I think I just might go surf Ikea's website for a while and veg out.

The House

Okay, so I think we have this house under contract. The sellers are out of town, so no papers are signed, but they verbally said that they were going to accept our counter offer. So, on Monday when they get back, as long as they don't change their minds, we should have this officially under contract. Closing would be late April and we would probably be all moved in by mid May. I think we will take a week or two after closing to paint the walls, install a dishwasher, things like that, before all of our stuff gets moved in. I am slightly worried about how Horton and Abe will adjust. They have been used to having Riley (my mom's dog) around so much that I think they may go into a little withdrawal. Especially Horton. He plays with Riley every day. Plus, the dogs are rarely alone here, since there are 4 people in this house with different schedules. Anyway, I hope that it ends up being a smooth transition. We have already been teasing my mom that she will need to get Riley a puppy. Riley is the most hyper dog on the planet. He is adorable and lovable, but oh so hyper. Sometimes if he isn't getting enough stimulation, he will just go nuts because he has to have something to do. Case in point...when you let him out the front door and don't have a toy or something to play with him, he will sprint straight toward the tree and then try to bite it in mid air. My mom is trying to break him of the habit, as the tree has a big chunk where Riley gets it, but I have to admit, it is the funniest thing ever to watch him take a leap toward the tree! Here's a picture of him in action:
This is one habit I am glad that my dogs have not picked up. Granted, I don't think Abe is limber enough to do this even if he wanted to!

Crash!

Well, last Sunday I crashed and burned. I knew I was going to, because I could tell with work and school (I enrolled in accelerated courses and seriously underestimated the amount of work that they would be.) and house hunting and little time with Jesse I had bitten off more than I could chew. However, even though I knew it was coming, I didn't think it was coming that soon. I thought I could hold out at least 4 weeks or so! In any case, after a tearful, frustrated and overwhelmed Sunday, I went to work Monday and asked if I could go part time instead of full time. Thank God, my boss was more than understanding and I was able to start part time hours this week. I'm still keeping pretty busy, but not an unhealthy busy as before. In other news, we decided to make an offer on a house this week. It's tiny. Really tiny. They countered our offer, and we are in the middle of "countering the counter". I think this is basically our final offer, so if they don't accept it, we are just going to say "no deal". We should know by tonight whether or not they accept. If they do, I'll try to post a pic of the house on here. Either way, I think I will feel relieved. If they accept, then we don't have to deal with scheduling viewings and such. If they don't, we don't have to deal with getting the finances together and moving in a few weeks. I am looking forward to having our own place again...picking out paint colors again (my original color scheme will need some tweaking since this house is so small). We found Ikea furniture that I think we have decided on. The problem is, there is no Ikea in Kansas City. Thus, the plan is to fly to Chicago early one morning with just one small carry on. We pick up our items (two of which are chairs that will fit within airline checked baggage sizes) and one of which is a couch that we will have to ship back. But, this way, believe it or not, is still by far the cheapest way to get our furniture. Plus, ever since Jesse started work at United he has wanted to fly to Chicago for a day so that we can have deep dish pizza. Go figure...these airline privledges went straight to his head!! I think within the first week of work, he already had sixteen "day trips" planned! He sure seems to love working out there though. I've really never seen him so excited about a job, and he rarely complains about work. The only conclusion I have come to is that his gadget mind is just reeling over all the parts on an airplane. Whatever the case, I am happy he has found a job that he enjoys. Plus, the perks are pretty sweet. =)

WHOO HOO!!

I have finally finished all of my school work for this week - yay!!! I spent almost every morning before work, and every night after work, working on school. I am sick of it already and I just started. Not good. I am really enjoying the information that I am learning though, so that makes up for it. I am just mainly sick of things like taking notes, looking up big words that I don't know, and posting answers in online discussions. I don't mind doing it, but I feel like it's all I've done lately besides work, so I think that's why I'm sick of it. I want to go out to eat with Jesse or just spend a whole day with him doing nothing that requires deep thinking, analyzing, or large amounts of responsibility. A lot of our time together lately has been house hunting and talking about prices, what we can and can't afford, etc, etc. Ugh. Although, we did have a "supposed to be fast" showing this morning that ended up being over 2 hours. Jesse had viewed some houses earlier this week alone to narrow it down so that I would only have to go along and see houses that were really worth it since I need more time to study lately. Anyway, he found 2 he liked, and out of those 2 MLS listings, I only liked one, so we wanted to view it together this morning. I thought we would be done within 30 minutes. Not so much. We got there a tad early, so we drove around the neighborhood and came across a house almost directly in back of the one we were going to view, for just 900 dollars more. It seemed on the outside to be the same general layout, so we mentioned it to our realtor when he got there, and he set up a last minute showing so that we could compare the two since they were pretty much same price, same layout. It ended up that we liked the house we didn't originally set out to see better and I think we may even make an offer on it this week. All that to say, we ended up spending more time on houses this morning than planned. Poor Jesse is exhausted. He worked a double yesterday, so he got home between 1 and 2am...not too sure exactly where between there - I was pretty out of it when he came in. Likewise, I feel exhausted this week with work being crazy busy (I almost had to mandatory overtime today for 8 hours - thank God I got out of it!!) and then getting into the school routine has been rough on me as I adjust. (As I'm sure it's also rough on Jesse when I am more stressed out!) Anyway, so the plan was to wake up early, go view the house, come back here and take a nap then Jesse goes to work and I would finish my school work and take my psychology test. Didn't quite happen that way. My bet is that we will both be in bed and asleep by 9 tonight. (How do people with kids do it all!?!?) In any case, so since Jesse isn't here right now, and I don't have anyone else to chat with right now, I will just blog this. This is the most interesting thing ever. (Well, probably not, but it's dang close.) Okay, so there are people who have "split brains". Basically, they had crazy bad seizures, so they did this radical surgery that disconnects their right half of the brain from their left half of the brain - aka, no more connections between them. So, the weird thing is, that now, their 2 sides can't "talk" to each other anymore. Seems simple enough, but since certain things are controlled in certain areas of the brain, this creates some weird results. For example, the right side of your body is controlled by the left side of your brain and vice versa. So, when they show these spilt brain people a word, say the word "heart", the left eye sees the word "he" and the right eye sees the word "art". Not a big deal, right? Well, when you ask them "what word did you just see?" They will verbally say "art" because the left side of their brain gives the ability to put the concepts into words and the right eye saw the word "art". Then when you give them a list of words, and say "point to the word you just saw", they will point to the word "he" because the left eye saw it, and the right brain registered it, which can't talk and tell you that, but can point to show you that. That may only be interesting to nerds like me, but here is a real life example of it. This is true, this actually happens to people with this split brain thing. They are reading a book, which is using their left side of the brain because it's words. So they normally hold the book in their right hand because the left brain is engaged, and controls the right side of the body. Anyway, so they are sitting reading just like normal, then all of a sudden, without their even knowing it or wanting it, their left hand shuts the book and tries to put it away!! This is because their right brain isn't being engaged, and basically "gets bored", so it sends the message to their left hand (without the person even wanting the brain to send this message) to "close the book and do something else". There have been cases of people even trying to button up their shirt with their right hand, but the left hand is trying to unbutton it. Or, in one case, one hand was trying to hit a person, and the other was trying to protect the person! I love it!! This is so fascinating!! It's just because the two hemispheres literally can't talk to each other, so the left can't tell the right side "I'm reading these words, in the meantime, you can imagine up these images based upon what I'm reading" or something like that. And what's even crazier, is that the left side of the brain will just make up these answers for what the right brain makes the person do. Like it has to have a reason. Say the right side tells you to get up and walk. So you do, and if you ask the person why, the left brain makes up something like "I'm going to get a Coke", even if the person doesn't even want a Coke, the left brain just makes up these reasons for what the body is doing! I can't get over it. This has to be one of the most fascinating things I've ever read about. I am sure by now if you are still reading this, you are either bored out of your mind, or you are sort of geeky like me and really enjoy this type of stuff. I can't see how you couldn't. That is amazing. Do you know what all that means about the brain and body?? Anyway, needless to say because my rambling has probably already proved this, but I think I have finally found the right fit for myself in education. I still love art, but I hate the art world. Well, hate is a strong word...strongly dislike. I still love science and medical advances, but I can't stand the thought of poking needles into little kids. I still love missions, but I never found a place for myself to fit in with it. Now that I am on this road to becoming a psychologist, I feel like I finally found my fit. In missions, in medicine, in science, and a wee bit in art, although that one is subject to change. I feel relieved. I feel like I finally have a purpose. I have always struggled with life when I feel like I am making unconscious decisions. I want to live consciously. I want my choices to be for a reason. I don't want to go to college because "it's just something to do after high school". I don't want to get a job because "it's just what you do when you graduate college". I want to have a real meaning and purpose for my decisions and maybe I am finally getting there. Wow, this is getting to be a long post. I think I feel like going and being really lazy, eating something really bad for me, and sitting my butt on the couch and letting some other person's brain entertain mine in front of the television now.

Life

I heard once that traveling is so tiring not because of the travel itself, but because you have so much time waiting that your brain just thinks and thinks all day, eventually wearing out your mind and physical body. The last week or so, I feel like I have been traveling. It's not that I have done so many things that I am exhausted, it's just that I have thought about so many things that I am exhausted. My head is just overwhelmed with life decisions. I guess we are both refocusing as individuals, which automatically refocuses us as a couple as well. Jesse has been making choices about his business and his photography. He's been pursuing a new direction and will potentially be traveling a whole lot more as he increases his steps. I'm focusing more on our home life and starting the student role. Me working less and hopefully eventually not at all plays a major role in our financial situation. I feel like I get caught between school, work, being a wife and taking care of things around the house. I think Jesse gets caught between wanting to provide financially, being a husband, and starting on a new path in photography that will be emotionally overwhelming and demand travel. It all seems simple enough. New goals, new path. But for some reason, the details that lead to these new paths can get so complicated. Even just buying a house. We can afford x amount now, because I am working. But when I stop, what then? And if Jesse will be traveling more, the area that we buy in will be especially important if I will be spending nights alone. And even more, if I decide to go on with my PhD, which at this point, I am nearly convinced I will, schools in this area that offer that program are few and far between. I don't want to have to move yet again in two or three years for me to go to grad school, so we need to think ahead about that. Obviously, I've learned you can't really plan on anything for sure, and for all I know, maybe I won't even finish my first degree, yet at some point, you have to be wise about how your today decisions will affect your tomorrow life. I guess for now, I am just trying to survive through the next two or three months and hope that things will clear up and fall together from there.

This and That...

I started work this week. It's a job. That's about it. Photoshop yearbook pages almost all day...with a little bit of uploading cd's and data entry mixed in. School starts on Monday and with my schedule picking up, Jesse has been doing more things around the house that he normally doesn't do. Right now, he is attempting his first batch of granola bars (this recipe is amazing by the way - without the raisins that is). So far, I have only heard one curse word fly out of the kitchen and I will not repeat it here. Although he still may be learning his way around the kitchen, he seems to have mastered everything else and can officially be labeled a "handy man". Our car door handle on the driver's side broke, so you had to either roll down the window and let yourself out with that handle, or crawl over the seat and get out of the passenger's side. Jesse figured out a way to switch the front handle with the back, so the driver can now get in and out as normal. He is also working on our Passport, which is still having that pesky check engine light come on and off. We've been carpooling together the last few days until that is finished. Thankfully, my work is just across the highway from the airport. We are going to view some houses tomorrow morning which I think we are both looking foward to. We viewed one last week that we are interested in and may end up making an offer on, but we wanted to check out a few other properties in a similiar price range first. It's been fun looking again, with a splash of stress thrown in as well. One nice thing about this round though, is that prices are lower in Missouri than Colorado and it seems we may actually be able to get a pretty nice house for considerably less than what we bought the cat pee palace in Colorado for. Ope - Jesse is done with the granola bars now so I will be done with this post now.

ABE!!!!

My dogs are one thing in my life that literally every single time I think about them, or look at them, it fills my heart with joy. I love these guys. Today however, Abe crossed the line. Despite his antics and personality that is always pushing the limits, I have never really been mad at him. Today, I was right ticked. It's a nice day out. I had the sliding glass door wide open so the dogs were coming and going as they pleased. Abe started barking a bit too much after the neighbor kids came outside, so I brought him in and then just closed the screen door so that some fresh air could still get in. He was doing fine - until the kids started making a lot of noise. Next thing I know, I look over at the door, and there is Abe, hanging half in and half out of the screen door, with it half off it's track. I immediately yell at him to stop, and instead of listening, he bolts as fast as he can (which was actually semi comical, considering he was lodged between the screen door and the glass door) out the door. At that point, he ripped the entire screen door, frame and all, off. Not like he just ripped through the screen. So I go chasing after him, and he is still just enjoying this barking spree off to the other side of the yard. When I catch him, I yank his collar and pull him inside and then yell at him probably more than I ever have before. See, in my marriage, Jesse is the firm discipliner, and I am the softie who disciplines sweetly. Not today. Normally when I discipline him, he sort of slinks into the floor, and gives me his biggest puppy dog eyes, then lifts his paw up to me as a peace offering. And it normally works. I tell him it's okay and we go back to normal. Today, his slinking into the floor and paw up for forgiveness wasn't cute. So I was giving him the silent treatment, and he kept following me everywhere around the house. Finally when I sat down on the couch, he plopped down straight in front of me with his head down, looking ashamed, and kept lifting his paw over and over to me. And I have to say, although I am still a bit mad, when I made direct eye contact with his big puppy dog eyes, I had to forgive him.

Off Track Again...

Well, obviously my art blog slowly diverts itself to other topics over time. And I'm thinking that once I start my job and am back in school, which is very soon, I probably won't have all that much time to even be doing much art, or maybe even much blogging...so this blog is officially on hiatus (that is a great word) from showing art. Unless it's someone else's that is... In any case, I am sure I will post random thoughts or unnecessary opinions soon.

4 Years and Running

We have a tradition that we do every anniversary. The idea is to take a photo each year, and then write a short paragraph about what our last year has been like and what we have done. We keep adding to an album that only has these photos and paragraphs in it and by our 50th anniversary, we will basically have a storybook of our lives together. We only have 4 pages in it as of today, but it is still a lot of fun to read just those few pages and see all the things we've done. Sometimes life and time has a way of making you forget just where all you've been. In any case, we started setting up the photo this morning. As you can see, now that we have two dogs, and are living with my parents (who also have a dog that desperately wanted to be "part of the family" this morning), it made it a bit more difficult to get a good photo this year.