Happy Birthday Canuck!

We started our celebration a couple days ago since we knew the actual day would be spent for me with coworkers and he with classmates. Saturday, we grabbed a bite to eat at our favorite spot for falafels, saw a movie, and chilled out at home for a bit. The next day my mom took us to lunch and spoiled Jesse with a pair of trail shoes he's been wanting. (Let the record show, this man owns waaaayyy more pairs of shoes than I do.)

Today, I will enlist the onslaught of birthday traditions started a decade ago, beginning with streamers and candy in the morning, and riding straight on through to the funky looking homemade ice cream cake at night. (Thank God Oreos are vegan.)

I like to look back and think about all the different bathrooms I've decorated for his birthday. It strikes me as somewhat odd that the bathroom is the decorated room, but it all started when we were dating and he was living at Nikki's. I was working as a waitress and would fly up and stay for a few days every month, hanging out with him in the evenings and weekends during his days off from the camera shop. He used to go into work super early. I remember wanting to do something special to acknowledge his birthday first thing when he woke up, but lazily, I didn't want to have to set my alarm and wake up myself. (It's way easier for me to stay up late than to get up early.) So, I ended up decorating the bathroom the night before, knowing that the bathroom was the only room in the condo that I would be able to get into and stay quiet enough not to wake him, and knowing that he would for sure have to go into that room in the morning. For whatever reason, the bathroom stuck.

I have decorated "birthday bathrooms" in 3 different countries and 6 different cities. I wonder what other bathrooms our lives will let us see! =)

Happy birthday Canuck!

1011

I was thinking I would blend into the crowd and do a "reflection on the past year + goals for the new year" post, but after seeing the (crazy ambitious) Canuck's post, I have to admit, my goals don't seem so cool anymore. Nonetheless, I'll take the plunge. (After all, I am trying to be more share-y and vulnerable in 2011.)

So, let's begin with reflection...I was thinking about doing a month-by-month highlight of 2010. Then I thought back to January 2010, and I don't remember anything about it except having to do W-2's for 175 people for the first time, with no help. Perhaps I should call this "highlight or lowlight" of the month.

January: Lowlight! See above.

February: Jesse (and Monkey) crossed the line at their first ever trail race while my brother and his wife were in the hospital giving birth to their first ever child. I got to drive from the muddy woods where I was holding my dog to the very clean hospital where I held my niece.

March: Another dog moved in with us and opted to change his name from "Dwight" to "Green Bean Nikkel"!

April: Spring sprung and I fell in love with bike riding.

May: Lowlight! Jesse was away in Canada while Bean got a butt hole rash and I had to rub ointment on it every day.

June: Visiting the WWI museum with my Grandpa and hearing more stories about his life.

July: Nothing in particular stands out; just great summer nights on the back deck, grilling fresh food from the garden and generally loving the sunshine.

August: Disney World!!!

September: Seeing my sister-in-law, Cheremi, and her family all in the same location! (They went through an incredibly long, complicated adoption process.)

October: I decided I really like Halloween, despite the horribly tacky decorations.

November: Serious garage progress and the happiest, loudest shade of yellow ever.

December: So many fun parties, so many fun gifts, so many days off work...too much goodness to choose just one!

And now, I suppose you would like to know my resolutions, new beginnings, lofty goals, and ambitions made while drunk the night before. (Just kidding on that last one...) Unlike the cut and dry Mr. Nikkel with his macho man goals, most of mine are relatively abstract. Here are the ones I can quantify.

*Push harder in making/growing as much of our food as possible. In practicality, this means things like skipping the store-bought loaf of bread and baking my own each week, sowing a fall crop instead of stopping with my spring/summer foods, and taking up canning. (The control freak in me is really digging the whole "I know exactly where my food comes from" thing.)

*Finally sign up to take one of the two classes I have wanted to take for years and years and years. (Maybe I'll tell you the class after I sign up.)

*Find some type of exercise that I enjoy as much as Jesse enjoys running. (I'm really skeptical I will attain this goal. If only I could have regular access to nice weather and a boat with a driver, I would ski or tube or wake board for my workouts.)

*Cook a new recipe once a week, and compile a cookbook by the end of the year. (I started this goal off with red-lentil-curry-chili.)

I think that's it! The rest is all deep and abstract and I don't feel like divulging right now. (Screw that share-y, vulnerable thing I mentioned at the start of this post.)

P.S. Since I posted this, a few people have pointed out to me that my post title has a typo. It says 1011 because in the past, each year I have titled my New Year's post as the two years...so in 2007 and 2008, I called it 0708 and 2009 and 2010 I called it 0910 and so on...I guess that is kind of confusing, but I'm sticking with it!

Christmas Vacation

I have 4 days left of Christmas vacation and intend to use them well! I woke up sick Christmas morning and spent the next 4 days laying around the house doing nothing but watching crappy daytime television and checking my temperature in hopes I was magically better. A couple days ago, the fever finally left, and now all I have is the residual sore throat and runny nose.

Jesse was productive during my bout of funky junk virus, doing some major cleaning and bringing me hot tea in between. He cleaned out the office (which is no longer the office, since we moved a bunch of stuff to the garage) and scrubbed the floors, which required moving a couple of the dog beds into the living room temporarily. Horton was delighted at the double stack.

I was feeling pretty stir crazy after a few days of laying around, so the instant I was feeling remotely better, I begged Jesse to go out with me for a couple hours and run a few errands. During this time, we decided we will never be cool because we can't rock the huge sunglasses look. I swear some of those lenses were the size of my head.

Personally, I think Jesse stands a better chance of pulling it off than I do.

One of the things I really wanted to do over the break was go ice skating. We finally got to last night with a few friends. There was a crowd and while I'm by no means a good skater, I can at least go around the rink without falling down. Apparently, I cannot say the same for 50% of the people on the ice. It was hilarious just looking around and at any given minute, at least one person was laid out flat on their butt. (You Canadians would have a ball mocking people down here.)

Anyway, today I suppose it's time for reflection on the past and building hope for the future. Maybe today I will finalize some resolutions that I can break a month from now. Until then...

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas! Today is actually pretty non-celebratory for Jesse and I in the grand scheme of things. We have already done all of the family get-togethers, and after a peaceful morning with just the two of us, Jesse headed in to work. (One of the few industries that doesn't shut down on Christmas day...oh well...we have had a great Christmas season nonetheless!)

Here's our Christmas recap -

A few days ago, we headed to my mom's. My brother/sister-in-law/niece and step-dad were all fresh off travel. (My step-dad has been doing contract work out of state, and my brother is in the midst of a short term job assignment in Montana.) About 15 minutes after Jesse and I got there, everyone else pulled up literally straight from the airport. We had a Christmas "panini party" courtesy of the new panini maker I got for my birthday. They were delicious, and Jesse and I ended up having paninis for the next 3 days straight. We had our gift exchange and watched my niece bobble around. She just started walking and is learning to connect words with actions. They have taught her "nonsense" and "touchdown". (i.e. they say "Oh Jada, that's just nonsense" and she grins and shakes her head side to side, or they yell "touchdown" and she throws her little arms up in the air.) It's cool to see the way her brain is developing and learning, and amazes me how much kids pick up even before they are speaking. (Note to self: watch your mouth.)

Christmas Eve we headed to my Dad's. Jada once again provided the entertainment with her nonsense and touchdown "tricks".

Over the last decade, my Dad has become quite a skilled woodworker. He made this chest for Jesse and I, which Jada found to be perfect for clutching and walking around. I am now in a conundrum about how to rearrange the furniture in our house. Those of you who have visited know that our house is teeny tiny. We don't have the luxury of being able to just add pieces in here and there, so I'm thinking something needs to go in order to make room for this new piece. Right now, it is still sitting in the back of our SUV. Until then, I'm waiting for a stroke of design genius to hit me. (For the record, I'm quite happy to have this problem...)

Peeking out from under my hands is a copy of The Joy of Vegan Baking, which I plan to start baking my way through in January.

This is kind of a silly photo of Jesse, but it's the only one I took that isn't totally blurry and I thought it appropriate that his mug have some space in this post.

Last, I made some onesies for my niece. This one I made in honor of Jesse. It has a maple leaf on the butt and says "Eh?" on the front. Though she is too young to understand, we tell Jada he is "the silly Canadian"/"that crazy Canadian"/"the scary Canadian"/etc.
Anyway, cheers to another beautiful Christmas season! Hope it finds you content in your heart and happy in your soul.

Party Poopin'

I had a great birthday, but Jesse already blogged photos...so not sure what's left that I can say!

I always feel like December 1st kicks off a big, long party. My birthday usually brings with it a number of get togethers with various friends and family, then the Christmas season rolls into full effect and the celebrations plow right on through to the new year.

On top of three birthday get togethers last week, we also attended the staff Christmas party for my work. I'm wise enough to know that despite some frustrations with my job, it's a very rare thing to find a place where you truly enjoy the company of those who surround you 40 hours a week. By and large, I can say that I sincerely love my coworkers. They bring a lot of laughter and fun into my life, and the Christmas party was no exception. I'm glad Jesse was able to come along so that he could witness a bit of what I get to enjoy at work.

Jesse on his 5th? 6th? Oh, whose counting? glass of

scotch on the rocks.

Jesse enjoying the fire pit.

At least he had gone for a 15 mile run before the party, so he could

pretty much eat (and drink!) all of the calories he wanted.

Me with some of the beautiful ladies I get to work with.

Some of those same ladies also happen to be

pretty amazing at karaoke.

Needless to say, it's been a fun week. It's also been kind of exhausting...I'm ready for an early bed time tonight. Blame it on being another year older. =)

Before I sign off though - thank you to all of you who dropped me a note this week. My life is infinitely richer because of the people in it.

Thanksgiving Break

I had some time off work for Thanksgiving and it was wonderful! There is so much to be said for a break, for getting away, for fresh perspective. I did a lot of driving by myself... a couple hours south to see my Dad's side of the family, an hour north to see my mom's side, and a day to see my "immediate" (for lack of a better word) family. Jesse has to work most holidays so he didn't tag along for a lot of the festivities, but I did get to see him a lot around the house, which was nice. A few pics -

My Grandpa.

I kid not when I say I don't know who a lot of these people are, but apparently, we're related. (This was a combined Thanksgiving/Christmas since it's so hard to get everyone together with scheduling.)

I started working on some holiday gifts in my new little "art corner" of the garage. Love, love, love, having a designated space!

Got the house decorated for Christmas! I always smile when I pull this stocking out of the box. My mom got it for us back when we had just one doggie, Horton. He looks so cute and young in the photo, I can never bring myself to replace it with one that has all the current doggies in it.

Also put up a little tree.

Officially Christmas season!

Our Week

We worked on the garage a lot last weekend. The walls are pretty much done...need to finish painting the ceiling and get the epoxy down on the floor. After that, it's just organizing and cleaning. It was kind of sad when we were working on it. Jesse pulled the shelves out and laid them in the driveway, so I was working in the front yard painting them. From there, I could hear our neighbors having a really big fight (not the first time this has happened). They yell so loud that you can hear what they are saying through all of their walls - closed windows and doors. It's always kind of sad, but it was exceptionally bad this time, because eventually the argument turned into crying. I could hear both of them sobbing. It was just heartbreaking. It was the sound of that delirious, hopeless cry where the pain is all consuming. It was an odd day I guess - I'm outside enjoying the beautiful weather and working on something trivial in my house, and ten yards away two people are in emotional anguish in theirs. It made me think a lot about kindness, about neighbors, about life in general, though I have yet to come to any conclusions.

Anyway, here's some of the work...

This week, Jesse's mom was in town. She surprised us with an "early Christmas" since we don't get to see that side of the family very often during the holidays. It was a lot of fun. The dogs also really enjoyed having company. (What could be better than 2 more hands, just ready and waiting to pet them??) Bean took a minute or two to realize that he didn't need to be scared, but once he realized that, he got to business giving out kisses and thumping his tail. I was somewhere in between healthy and sick all week, so I did a lot of party-pooping and sleeping while she was here.

This weekend brings the realization that I have a ton of yard work to do. In fact, I'm slightly embarrassed at the state of our yard. We have plywood and all kinds of junk sitting in the driveway from when we were working on the garage, and I've got leggy zinnias in the front yard still hanging on despite the chill in the air, honeysuckle that needs to be tamed, and a number of other issues. That is only out front...the back yard is a whole different mess, courtesy of three dogs. I don't know what we will do with that - I think we might need to look at putting some pavers in.

Sunday Jesse is doing another trail race. I am hoping I can go too, but I guess it will depend on how much of the yard gets tamed before then!

In any case, being it's November, the holidays are just around the corner and that makes me happy. The perfect season for baking, holiday crafting, annoying cds on repeat, and celebrating life. I leave you with a shot from the surprise stockings from Jesse's mom. (Monkey was pretty sure that one belonged to her.)

Eating & Running

A few photos from the last couple weeks...

Our plans for Canadian Thanksgiving were up in the air until last minute, since we weren't sure what Jesse's work schedule would look like. He ended up getting the Saturday before off work, so we decided to go to Weston for the day. Jesse wanted to get in a run at the state park and I had been wanting to buy some mums at one of the little farms there for quite a while. It was a fun day that went by really fast. My parents treated us to lunch at one my favorite restaurants in town and the weather was insanely perfect.

It happened to be Irishfest while we were there, so Jesse and I decided to walk down to the festival that evening and hang out for a bit.
We didn't stay too long, as we are not much for hype. We just basically peeked in, then kept walking around town.
When the actual holiday rolled around, I had to go to work, and Jesse had to go to class. We had a quiet dinner with just the two of us that evening, and it ended up working out well. Since it was the week leading up to his marathon, I knew he wouldn't want to eat a big meal or a lot of sugary desserts, so we went with lots of veggies and no dessert - not exactly the type of meal you'd like to serve at a big party. =)

Anyway, while Jesse was preparing for the marathon with long runs and a strict diet, I was busy deciding what to wear to help support him. I decided to make a shirt especially for him. It was nice and cool the morning of the marathon (for spectators at least - I'm sure it was a touch on the warm side for the runners), then turned into wonderful weather for post-race activities.

I think most of you know, but Jesse's goal for this marathon was to qualify for Boston, which meant he needed to come in at 3:10:59 or less. I was sure he had it in the bag, as he had logged plenty of 20 milers in his training and was well suited to keep a 7:14 or less average mile. (In fact, he can actually hold a 6 something mile with relative ease.)

Race day came and Jesse left the house bright and early. I got up a bit later, took care of the dogs, then headed to the race and walked around for a while trying to find the best spot at the finish line. When the marathon clock flipped to 3 hours, I had my camera out and ready, sure I'd see Jesse pop over the hill at any second. As it crept closer to 3:10, I was so full of anticipation, ready to see him slide in right at the deadline. When it flipped past 3:10, my heart sank, as I knew Jesse was either hurt or sick. Since I had no way to contact him, I stayed where I was, watching for him, and pulled my phone out of my bag, knowing that my contact info was on his bib.

I was thrilled and relieved to see him pop over the hill at 3:20 something (clutching his stomach in pain). Even though I was happy and proud, I knew he would be crossing the line feeling frustrated and disappointed. I cheered him as he ran past, then headed down to the shoot to meet him after he got some fuel.

His splits tell the story perfectly: At mile 9.3, he was 11th in his division, averaging a 7:04 mile - well on track for a BQ. At mile 19.8, he was 9th in his division, and his average had picked up to 7:02. Between there and the finish....oof. At mile 20, he got what he described as "the worst cramp of my entire life", and ended up having to walk/run it in. I was so bummed for him, yet with a 3:28:34 finish, he still did awesome! I honestly wasn't sure if I should greet him at the finish with a huge, proud smile, or my condolences. From my view, there was nothing but pride and happiness, but I know Jesse well enough to know that he would first be crushed by not meeting his goal before he would be able to give himself credit for the incredible accomplishment.

Anyway, I met him at the end of the chute, and we walked for a bit, as he processed the race and stretched. Check out those compression socks!

I told him he needs to get a blank technical shirt so that I can make him a corresponding shirt, letting everyone know that he is, indeed, a fartlekking Canadian.
I'm sure you're not really supposed to be in the fountain, but really...who cares?
And finally, some of his other fans out to show their support!

All in all, it was a good day, even if Jesse's initial reaction involved the f bomb.

0910

Well, every one's doing it...so here is my homage to peer pressure:


Highlights of 2009:

Getting accepted into the master's program at SFSU.

Monkey madness.

Sing it with me: M-i-c-k-e-y M-o-u-s-e!

Going vegan.

Watching Jesse cross the finish line at his first marathon.

4 new nieces and nephews on the way - welcome Zeke, Kaysia, Jada, and baby no name!

Lots of healthy strides happening around here, including a collective loss of about 45lbs, (with little itch who is sliding in at a svelte 69lbs these days...way to go, old pup - you're looking better than ever!)


Lows of 2009:

Nothing stands out in my mind more than losing big Abe. I think my heart will forever ache for you.


And with that, what is left to say?

In this world that gives a tear for every laugh... cheers to the ride.

Happy New Year, my friends!

A Few Photos

A few photos from the last couple days...

We celebrated Christmas early with my mom this year since she will be out of town for part of December. We had a little fondue party at her house, which was quite fun.

Sorry for the green cast in this next photo. (Fluorescent lights and the wrong camera settings.) Jesse got a technical shirt from one of the running blogs he reads. Clever little rhyme.

Monkey also got a present. Cesar says high energy dogs can benefit from a backpack weighted to fit their size and endurance level on walks. We've been wanting to get her one, but who knew - dog backpacks are pricey. So, when my mom saw one on clearance, she snatched it up for us and decided she could tweak it with her sewing skills if it didn't fit Monkey right. So, here's Monks and her first fitting!



We had a foghorn out because Monkey and Riley don't get along very well. We just honk it when there are potential fights brewing. Sounds odd, I know, but it gives peace of mind, and if you have ever had to break up a dog fight, you know it sure isn't easy.

Other than Christmas celebrations, we have also finally started hanging up some stuff in the office. Maybe by the new year it will be all cleaned up and finished. Doubtful, but maybe.



Jesse standing in front of the painting I did of his chin, to help me see how close I got it perhaps. =)

Birthday Fun

Jesse has the entire week off work. He had originally scheduled his vacation week for April, which is when he ended up having hernia surgery. That meant he was on medical leave the same week as his vacation week, so his union rep told him he could pick a new vacation week, and this week is it. Since he had so much time off, I decided to take Monday and Tuesday off so that we could have some time together. (Plus, it was nice to have the day off on my birthday.)

I am smack in the middle of an audit at work, so I guess it was good to get some time away from that as well. I'm not sure. Part of me just wants to get it over with, but I am sure the time away has given me some perspective, which I am really awesome at losing.

Anyway, for my birthday, I received the very cool composter that I blogged about a few weeks back. I'm pretty impressed with it. Only a couple days into it, and I can't even recognize what I put into it, which means it's all breaking down super fast. The irony of using electric resources to compost is not lost on me, and I do admit, it's a pretty luxurious way to go about the whole thing. But, in my defense, it uses extremely minimal power, and allows me to compost more food scraps than my traditional outdoor bin allowed me to. I like the idea of self-sufficiency in terms of food, and I like that I can follow much of what we eat the entire way through - from table to trash to turning it back into the soil.

Gardening is also good for my problematic loss of perspective syndrome. Seeds remind me how miraculous and ironic life is. One thing, that I can hold on the tip of my finger can feed my family all year. If I didn't know about gardening and someone told me that, I would laugh at them and tell them it was impossible. But, somehow, year after year, I put these tiny little specs in the ground, and suddenly, I have more food than I can eat. That is really stinking amazing. And it always makes me wonder, if this little itty bit thing can make so much, how can we have people starving? Obviously I know the answer is much more complicated than seeds, but still - something so simple and powerful that fits on my finger tip can literally sustain life...and for lack of it people die. Guess it's part of that cruel irony that the world is so wonderful at.

Though I'm about two seconds away from going all "circle of life" on you, I'm going to stop. I shall save the virtue of worms and respect for all life forms lecture for another day - perhaps this spring when I am inspecting my freshly composted gardens and clapping each time I find an earth worm.

Anyway, I also received some other very cool items, one of which was a homemade vegan birthday cake from my mom! And, since it came complete with candles, Jesse did the honors and sang the happy birthday song for me.



The cake was super yum, and unfortunately also came complete with 2 flavors of vegan ice cream that were also super yum...and we ate dinner out Friday night which was super yum, and Saturday night which was super yum, and Monday lunch which was super yum...oy. My tummy has had too much super yum!

Other than eating, which is apparently 90% of what we did over the weekend, we shopped a bit and rented a couple movies. I also got birthday snuggles from my "other favorite boy". All in all, I cannot complain!

Gift Idea

A year or so ago, I kept hearing this buzz about a book called The Daring Book for Girls. It came about because a year or so prior, a book called The Dangerous Book for Boys was published. Both books are meant to be nostalgic, in that they offer a "how to" guide for all of the essential boy or girl activities of childhood. Tying knots, chinese jump rope, paper airlines....things that a boy or girl should just know to have a wholesome childhood. Both books were quite popular, sucking in both young readers and older ones who just wanted to reminisce a bit.

In any case, when Jesse and I took our little day trip to Boulder last summer, I spotted what looked like the cover of one of the books. (They have a very distinctive, old school design.) When we got closer, I realized it was a spoof of the books, called The Dangerous Book for Dogs. We flipped through and it had us both laughing out loud in the store.

I didn't think much of it after we left, but now that Christmas time has rolled around and different people have been asking me for gift ideas, I thought about what a great gift this book would make, not just for myself, but for any dog lover/owner. The few pages I read in Boulder had me cracking up. Subject titles include: How to Make Your Owner Look Like an Idiot, Creative Pee Stains, The Formal Rules of Fetch, and if my memory of the book serves me correctly, a warning that mounting a bitch is never as easy as it seems.

In any case, though I don't own it and haven't read the entire book, I have to say, I would highly recommend it for any dog lover on your list!!

Shopping Just Got Deep.

I have gotten a jump start on the holiday shopping this year. A few names on my list, year after year, I always have a terrible time buying for and generally don't enjoy the gift giving experience at all. I think I am finally starting to realize why, besides just chalking it up to the fact that they are "hard to buy for".

I realized this year that it's unfun giving to people who are totally self-sufficient. It's not necessarily about wealth even, though certainly only some people can afford to be self-sufficient. But, maybe the real joy in giving and receiving gifts is the interpersonal symbolism behind it -

From the giver's viewpoint: I have something you might like. I can offer you something. I am valuable to you because of this.

From the receiver's viewpoint: I like what you give me. You have something to offer me. I value you because of this.

By that, I don't mean that the value is in the object, or that people only value each other based on what they can/can't get. It's more about the relationship exchange. When you think about it, generally our most fulfilling relationships are those in which we feel used to our full potential. We inherently want to give of ourselves and our resources.

I feel happy when I cook something that Jesse really likes. Why? Because I think it's something I can offer that fulfills a need or desire of his, which he accepts from me. And I imagine he probably likes it when he can fix our cars and save us hundreds of dollars in mechanic fees. Why? Because it's something he's good at, a part of himself, that he can offer to me.

Why do jobs suck and get boring? Often, it's because the employee feels she has more to offer than what the company will let her. He can do more than answer phones. She can do more than data entry. Or he has great ideas for marketing, but they won't be heard because he doesn't have the right title or whatever the reason. And the best jobs? They are fulfilling because the employee gets to use their skills to contribute to something greater than self - even if that something is a corporation -it's still something.

And why is it hard for parents to see their kids grow up? Because the parents know the child is growing closer to independence. Someday, the parent will no longer be a necessity for the child. And when the grand kids come along and Grandma won't shut up with her "advice" - she's probably doing it because she wants to give of her experiences. She offers a piece of her history, of herself.

In some sense, our sole fulfillment in life comes from this connection; some delicate balance of giving and receiving whereby what we offer is accepted with joy and what we receive is valued as unique and irreplaceable.

But, the key in making it work is that we have to be willing to do both. We have to give, and we have to receive. And the receiving part, I think a lot of us are a bit rusty on. After all, aren't we supposed to be self-sufficient?

I know the holidays and gift giving is all kind of just a silly obligation to consume in the name of "holiday spirit", but I think it still boils down to the connection. And when someone is self-sufficient, providing themself with their own heart's desire and not expressing any of their wishes, it really sucks the fun out of it all. They are, in some sense, withholding of themselves, refusing to let you in. You don't know what to get for them, because you really don't even know who they are. You don't know what they like, because they won't share that with you. So you are forced to come up with some offering, blindly hoping that perhaps maybe you stumbled upon something that may have some remote sense of value to them. Because the fact is, maybe what you are really hoping is that you yourself have value to them.

I am probably making gift giving way too deep, and obviously, this may not apply to baking a nut loaf for your neighbor or being forced to partake in the office secret santa party, but - at least for me - there are people on my list that I really care about, and I really wish I knew better, yet despite my best efforts, each year when jingle bells start playing, I find myself sighing and plastering on a smile while we exchange obligatory, extremely meaningless gifts. So why do I keep doing it every year? Why do I spend my money, money that is often very tight, on something so meaningless?

Well, it's because even if my gift is forgotten, at least I can say I offered something. I tried. I put some piece of myself out there, and I was still open to the possibility that someday, maybe I will have a gift that matters.

And until that day comes, I will let my heart be thankful for the exchanges that do work; the ones where I see something at the store, and I think of this or that person, not because it's a cool object, but because I know them.

Jesse's Birthday

I was video taping when Jesse was opening his present, but I also wanted photos, so I made him reopen his present for photos. So this is his reenactment of the gift opening (which is much more dramatic than the real thing was):

I got him a remote car starter. We have one in the Passport already, which was either my birthday or Christmas present one year when we lived in Colorado. Anyway, I usually drive the Passport, so Jesse has been stuck with the cold car all these years. So, hopefully this will make his mornings a bit cheerier. We had amazing weather for February, which made Horton and Abe very happy because they got two walks, plus lots of outside time. (And I was super happy because I noticed that some of my bulbs are coming up out front, which means spring is definitely on the way!)

We went to Chipotle, ate on the patio, took in an afternoon movie and had a low key evening with the dogs. And of course, we kept the two birthday traditions of me "secretly" decorating the bathroom with candy and streamers while Jesse is "sleeping" (it's sort of like Santa when you are 13...everyone knows what's really happening, but you keep up with the game just for fun), and of the ice cream cake that always looks totally horrendous, but gets eaten very quickly.

Christmas Happenings

I can hardly believe Christmas has come and gone. This year, November and December went by faster than ever.

On Christmas Eve, we went up to my mom's house. Horton is always cute during car rides that last longer than 10 minutes. He usually hangs his head over the seat in between Jesse and I and just stares at us, occasionally sighing. This round, we had presents stacked in between the seats, so he couldn't hang his head in the usual manner, though he did try.

On the drive up, Jesse told me his Christmas present to my mom would be that he wouldn't flip her off in any photos. Apparently, I was exempt from this gift.
Jesse may act tough with his middle finger and all, but he is really a softie...as evidenced by this little snuggle with Jackson, my brother's dog. I think Jackson was giving him some kisses.
Jackson weighs 8 lbs. Abe weighs 98 lbs.

My mom ordered an ice cream cake. Mmmmm...
More evidence of the softer side... that's Jackson laying between Jesse's legs. They had a nice little nap together.
There is a long running joke in our family about "smelling the leaves". Here, my mom had just unwrapped a candle from my brother, which was aptly named "leaves". And as you can see, Abe and Riley were very content to watch it all unfold.
These are from the following day when we went down to my aunt and uncle's house to see my Dad's side of the family.
Horton and Abe didn't get to join in on this celebration, but my aunt and uncle do have two dogs who weren't shy about asking for some affection. This is Merris.
This is three generations of the guys on my Dad's side (plus one toddler thrown in for good measure).
And now...here comes 2009!