Deprived!

After a few days without the internet, I am reminded of just how much I like it. Jesse and I are so snotty that we are these high and mighty people who rarely watch television. Seldom do we tell people that that's because we are addicted to the internet instead!! I am at my mom's using her computer. Hopefully we will be online at our place by Tuesday. Still no photos, sorry. Jesse has all the cameras with him in Colorado. He is out there shooting a wedding this weekend. The house is slowly, and I do mean, slowly, coming together. The dogs are still adjusting, but doing pretty well. Abe no longer barks randomly througout the night, so hey, that's progress. My goal is to get the garage cleaned out enough so that a car can fit into it by the time that Jesse gets home. Not too sure if that will happen or not, but I will give it my best shot. As we were working on the floors and painting, we just piled box after box after box in the garage. Now it's fun time sifting through them and finding a spot for all of our useless crap. (Next weekend is garage sale time.) Still haven't reached the fun part of hanging pictures on the walls yet. Hopefully soon....

Moving Day is Here!

Well, today is moving day, which also means that this is the last day we will have internet until we get that set up at our place. (Knowing Jesse, that won't be very long.) We already have most of our stuff at the house, minus big items. It is, however, a total mess in there. With all the oak dust flying around from the floors, there is dust on every baseboard, on the ridges in our doors, on the furniture, everywhere. I've tried to wipe them down as we go along, and have cleaned the bathroom and kitchen many times, but somehow, they always end up covered in sawdust again. Oh well, I'm sure I'll feel pretty happy at the house anyway (because the stain/varnish fumes are still really strong.) Once we get settled in and get the internet up and running, I'll post some photos. I had good intentions of bringing the camera down with us every time we went to work on it, but never failed to forget. There were a few moments where Jesse looked priceless, with a layer of sawdust all over his glasses, grayish hair, and blonde arm hairs that looked like they were growing other really fine little hairs from the dust. Hopefully more sanding is not in our future...although whatever will Jesse do with his belt sander if we don't make good use of it??!? I am excited now to do the more fun house projects like hanging curtains and pictures. (And by that, I mean, I stand in the room and tell Jesse where I want things, while he hangs them. It's a system that seems to work well for us.) I am really thankful that he pretty much lets me decorate however I want to, and once it's all done, he seems to like it a lot (or at least he says he does!). I do my best to avoid things that I like, but know Jesse wouldn't be thrilled with. Although this time, I did go out on a limb and buy fabric with a floral print to it for the kitchen and office. (Thanks mom for sewing the fabric into curtains!) Jesse wasn't so sure at first, but once we took the fabric down and he saw it in the house, I think he liked it more. The house needed something kind of girly anyway. It was getting way masculine with all of this blue and green and lots of wood everywhere. The floral curtains have saved the house from a lifetime of something terribly wrong, like deer heads mounted on the wall and coon dog tapestry curtains. Anyway, so that is that....

We met with someone at BBBS. (Big Brothers Big Sisters it too long to write out, so it's officially BBBS on my blog now.) We both had to fill out paperwork and do an online interview, which asks some really personal, as well as some shocking questions that you really don't know how to answer. Next in line is a home visit, which will probably be in the next couple weeks. I guess they have to make sure we have no guns that aren't locked up or "meth labs in the garage" as Jesse would say. After the home visit then the case worker will send us profiles of kids that she thinks would be a good match for us. We can then say "no, none of these", or "we like this one". After we have chosen the profile that we want to go ahead with, then they will show our profile to the parent and child, who can say "no, not them" or "yes, we like them back". At that point, if they say yes, then we all meet at the "little's" house and we are officially a Big Couple.

Well, I should get to packing now. We have lots of little random odds and ends that are just laying around. It's always those little things that take the longest to pack it seems like.

A Newly Discovered Plant In Our Yard

My arms hurt today like they have never hurt before. Yesterday while Jesse was sanding the floor, I mowed the backyard and then weed-eated. I think our weedeater weighs about 200 lbs. Seriously that thing is so heavy. I don't see how people use them all the time. Jesse told me that ours is heavier than most, but I think that may have just been a ploy to make me feel better about my pansy arm muscles. I bet I looked like the fool out there. Not only am I struggling with this thing and doing the world's worst trim job, but I am allergic to grass and trees. I had snot running out of my nose the entire time. Hopefully none of the neighbors were looking that close. In any case, in this yard maintenance process, I also discovered a new type of plant, for which I should win the Nobel prize. It is of the demon phylum, satanic species, evil gene. It's called the satanonic plant. This friggin' weed poked me with its evil thorns (those tiny little hairy looking ones that you can't really see at first glance) through my gloves, then it was too strong to pull up by hand, so I tried to dig up its roots. I kept digging and digging and I couldn't find the root, and still couldn't pull it up. So I got the pruning shears. I chopped it and chopped it and chopped it some more. I kept following its root, but never found the end. I finally got so frustrated and tired of it that I just took the Round Up and poured a ton all over the part of the root that I could see. Knowing this plant though, it will revive itself uglier and eviler than ever before. The battle is on. Pray for me.

On a happier note, Jesse the handy-man pretty much got the office floors redone and all varnished. Just the bedroom left and then we can finally move in (hopefully this weekend). Oh, and we found a great deal on a washer and dryer that I am really excited about. I think I could live off the high from a good bargain for a week or more.

Anyway, over in the "things that really matter" life section, tomorrow Jesse and I are meeting with a case manager to learn about becoming a "Big Couple". It's through the Big Brother/Big Sister program, but we are both kind of intimidated to go out on our own at first, so we looked into it and found that they also offer a "Big Couple" program. We would be paired up with one kid together. We are pretty excited about it, but kind of nervous since we're not really big extrovert type of people. I think we should be matched with a kid in about a month or so, assuming that there is a kid out there who has the same interests as us and stuff. They match based on location, similar interests, etc, so who knows. We'll see how it goes!

The other "things that really matter" highlight of the week is another one of those "happy face slaps" from God. Jesse and I got an unexpected check in the mail yesterday. It was a nice tangible reassurance that we really did hear right about me not working, and a big warm comforting reminder that He is going to take care of us in all ways. It boosts my faith every time. I think it's funny how this new season of faith testing is just conveniently lining up with other areas of my faith that I am doubting (the whole apologetics thing...is Jesus really enough...that line of things). God is there bigger and better than ever in the midst of my doubts. How ironic.

Passing Time

I am waiting for Jesse to get home from work. Blogging always seems to be a good way to pass some time. (Which, side note, I cringe when I say I am "passing time".) I got all registered for classes this semester. I was adding it up last night as I was going to sleep....(because I am so patient). If I keep going at this pace of class load, I will have my degree in just a hair over 2 years. That's really not too bad at all. (We will just see if life gets in the way or not!) Jesse and I decided that it is best if I don't take a job and just focus on school and taking care of things around the house right now. I'm really excited about that, but it's been incredibly difficult to say no to job interviews (because I was applying for jobs like crazy, and then we decided that I wouldn't take one...not the best timing!). It's really become yet another test of faith for both of us. Me not working leaves a hole in the checkbook. But, we both believe that God said that I should not take a job, so we find ourselves (yet again) in a place of waiting and watching for God's provision. It's funny. Living in Colorado made me forget that desperate dependence on Him for finances. Jesse worked full time and often got raises, and I worked full time and also got some pretty killer raises. Not that we were rolling in it, but we definitely had enough to pay bills most of the time, (which has been rare in our time together). After experiencing that, I forgot that money doesn't come from us, but from God. I forgot what it's like to see unexpected money come in just in time for a major bill. I forgot what it's like to see Him throw us 20 bucks from somewhere after I've been complaining to Him that I just want a night out with my husband. I forgot what it's like to want something in my heart that's trivial, small, and completely material, then to have someone who had no idea that I had wanted this thing give it to me as a gift for no reason at all. It's actually a really, really good place to be. It just takes so much faith. And reminds me of how much I lack that. In all the times though, I can say with complete confidence and joy that I have never, never gone without even my smallest desire. God has literally given me my every dream, down to the smallest one. He pays attention to the details of my life. It feels like a warm and joyful slap in the face every time I see money appear from seemingly nowhere. It reminds me how special I am to Him, but makes me feel so ashamed for ever having doubted. Anyway, so here we are, getting ready to enter into this new season of faith trials. It's exciting. It's scary too though.

Moving Day...(Or Not)

Well, seems like it should be time for an update. I wanted to post some pictures, but keep forgetting the camera when we go down to the house. Today was going to be our moving day, but we ran into a few little unplanned mishaps that have set us back a bit. We pulled up the carpet in the bedrooms. They have beautiful hardwood floors....totally covered in white paint and plaster. Oh, and one corner in the bedroom is plain plywood subfloor. They really should be totally refinished, but we just aren't up for that right now. So, a lot of scrubbing and a strategically placed area rug will do the trick for now. As soon as we are done scrubbing and getting all the staples pulled up, we hope to move in. We are thinking Wednesday-ish. Everything is painted. The dishwasher is installed (almost). The garden is planted. The water company came and did their business digging up our front lawn and then reseeding it. The Poang chairs are assembled. The dogs are going nuts over the change. We are ready.

Plants and God

Yesterday I planted my raspberry bushes. Abe sort of trampled one in the car on the way to the house, so let's hope that little guy makes it. I plan to get the rest of my plants into the garden by Wednesday. I decided I will most likely never again try to grow plants from seed. I now understand why people buy the plants that are already started. Which, by the way, I now have. My onions met an unfortunate fate and mold grew all over them. My garlic dried up, and then grew mold. My peppers were doing amazing, until the onion mold spread onto them. And my tomatoes just shriveled up and died. I was praying for just 4 tomato plants to last, but God must have said no because those babies are all dried up. I was ticked at him. Why not just let 4 of my plants survive? I still don't know, but we have made our peace at least. I think I left them in their little pots too long and the roots died. Apparently, after they have leaves, you need to transplant them into a bigger pot. I didn't know that, and consequently suffered the fate. Anyway, my mom renewed my garden and got me plants that are already big and healthy, ready for the ground. They are in bigger cups, so I want to get them into the ground before anything happens to them. I am still really excited to have a garden and optimistic that I can make this thing work yet. Strangely enough, my dead little plants and my now blooming beautiful new plants seem to be echoing my spiritual life. I started reading an apologetics book, which has actually been quite fascinating and a quick read. I realized in reading it though, that it still will not answer any of my questions. I'm not concerned with whether or not Christ existed, or even if the Bible that I read is accurate (which those things have crossed my mind before at other times and been issues---oddly enough, the New Testament is quite possibly one of the absolute most accurate historical texts that we have, even in all it's translations - I won't bore you with the facts though), but I guess my question right now is "Who is Christ?" I mean, obviously there is quite an obvious answer. The Messiah. But, really, who do I say he is? Is he enough for me? Apolegetics can't answer that. Only my own heart can. But apologetics sure do stir my brain, and I like it when my brain is stirred. That's why I like Jesse. Speaking of, I had planned to make him some cookies for when he gets home, and that's only 30 minutes away, so I should get to baking. Which brings up another point that maybe I'll blog about later...domestication, genes, how women were created, and fullfillment.....I've come to some surprising conclusions for myself recently. But like I said, right now it's baking time.

Darfur Peace Talks

I have been really happy about the recent media attention that has been given to Darfur. Thank God people are finally paying some attention. There's been an increase in international pressure for the rebel groups and the government to come to a peace agreement. They are in negotiations right now, but things are still shaky. The main issue from what I have read at this point, is who will be in the second vice presidency seat. This seems to be one of the main reasons rebels are not yet signing the agreement. In any case, the UN has reminded both world leaders and those in Darfur, that at the last UN summit, world leaders agreed that if country won't protect it's citizens or is using violence against them, then there will be international action, by force if needed. While I don't want it to get that far, I feel like the "violence" that would be caused by international action would be a lot more humane than the violence that's happening there now. Either way, whether an agreement is reached between the rebels and government there, or whether other countries have to get involved, I see this as the beginning of change and redemption for Darfur. It will be a long road to recovery, but to even see that road is a major step at this point. I think God's heart is moving there and it's time for the unimaginable evil that reigns there to be taken out. I'm excited for Africa as a nation as well. They've suffered long enough.

Updates...

I've been studying all day for my finals (tomorrow) and need a break so I thought I would blog. Always seems to be a good way to wind down.

House update: The water company will be digging up our front yard shortly. Apparently, a pipe needs to be replaced, which they discovered upon reading the meter when they changed over the billing to our name. I am quite sad about this news. I was so proud to finally have a nice looking lawn. Well, it was good while it lasted, and hopefully the hole will be small and grass will grow again soon. It's funny almost. Jesse and I drove by the house this morning just to see if our trash got picked up because we were unsure of when trash day is. We drive by and see this big square spray painted on the front grass with the word "DIG" in the middle. Not the best way to find out that you have a problem with your water pipe, but effective in letting us know none the less! Jesse called them and they said the whole thing would only take 20 minutes and shouldn't be a big deal, and apparently, they replace the lawn. (We'll see.)

Dog update: Abe know something is up. He breathes really heavy and paces now everytime he sees Jesse pick up a big box. Horton has become attached to my hip. He follows me everywhere now. I think both of them might be afraid that we are going to leave them behind in the move or something!

Jesse update: He has informed me that he starts new training this week at work. I can't remember the exact name of it, but he seemed pretty excited about it. He gets to sit in the pilot seat and steer the plane when they push out (or something along those lines). I am sure he could explain it much better than me. I just know he seemed very happy to "sit in the pilot seat". Hopefully it lives up to his expectations!

Highlight of the day: Jesse and I took a nap. I have this weird anal complex about sleeping on our sheets when I am "dirty" (wearing my normal clothes, have any hair product or make up on, etc). I only like to lay on the sheets when I am "clean" (showered). So, Jesse was under the covers and I was on top of the bedspread, and we had a huge pile of folded laundry on the bed. So I was sleeping in a weird position between the laundry pile and Jesse. Anyway, I started dreaming that I was being attacked by this huge snake and Jesse wouldn't move to let me get away. In the dream, Jesse told me to be really still so the snake will just slither over us, but not bite us. So I was trying to be very still, but the snake was crawling all over me and then started to bite my shoulder. At this point, I sort of woke up from my dream, but wasn't fully conscious of what was happening....all I know is that I leaped out of bed faster than I ever have before and sprinted up the stairs. Once I got upstairs, it took me a minute or so to realize what had happened because I was still in that "half awake/half asleep" state. Anyway, after fully waking up, I started cracking up. I think Jesse had tried to put his arm around me, and in my dream, his arm was "the snake", so I freaked out and leaped out of bed running. Poor Jesse woke up and just said the he thought I "got out of bed rather abruptly". So much for nap time.

Anyway, that's the day for the Nikkels......