Processing

When Jesse takes photos and eventually fills up his card, he downloads the photos to a folder called "card dump 5/08/09" or whatever the date is. The folder is jumbled up, with random photos from all kinds of events.

I feel a need for a card dumping of the brain.

Here are some sentiments from my head that I've been thinking a lot about the last couple weeks. Metaphorically speaking, some are stupid snapshots, some are accidental photos of the floor because the camera just happened to bump your thigh while you were walking, and some are formal, taken with a soft box and all. Here we go -

One of my professors once told me that my art is, "So you - subdued yet excited." That is how I feel tonight.

Regret. I should have learned more Spanish when we were in Nicaragua. I am not sure if I am more embarrassed or ashamed that I spent 2 months there and the only thing I really learned was how to order ice cream. So ethnocentric of me.

I miss Mr. David Curtis, the world's best sociology professor, and his thoughts. I have a huge craving for some good discussion in my life. I am thankful for Jesse, who has stayed up late with me a night or two to discuss spiritual matters.

I am still not sure if I am "healed", "have forgiven", whatever you want to call it, from experiences at Mercy Ships. I think it did deeper damage than I realized. I am actually pretty jacked up. And that doesn't really even bother me. I don't know if that is good or bad.

Does power corrupt or is it just coincidence that mostly slimy people come to power?

Sometimes I feel like I lose who I am in light of who I wish I was. Maybe it is just the human tendency to take for granted everything which is familiar and close, including yourself.

I have gained a new appreciation for women's lit. The dialogue is witty, so much social commentary between the lines. It makes me want to check out all the books I can with work from Sojourner Truth, Maya Angelou, and Phillis Wheatley. People have such beautiful things to say if we will only let them.

I still miss Abe. A lot.

I am excited to have some free time. Now that I am done with school, I can finally go back to learning for learning's sake. I hope I can get into a figure drawing class this fall.

I miss traveling, but I don't know why.

They say three things remain: faith, hope, and love. I have hope. I have love. But sometimes I don't know if I have faith.