The Weekend

Saturday we went to the Liberty Memorial and WWI museum with my family. Notably my Grandpa - a vet of WWII, the Korean War, and Vietnam - he has so many crazy stories of his own, which made the museum a lot more interesting. It is amazing he is still alive, and probably even more amazing that he can laugh and enjoy life given everything he's seen. I can't say that I really know the man very well, but I can say my respect for him runs very deep.

Saturday

Now and probably for another year or so, Jesse and I have limited time together. Our schedules rarely collide. Every weekday except Tuesday, he leaves the house just before I get home and comes back around the time I am getting ready to go to bed. I work on his "weekends", and he works on my weekends. We are learning to settle into a groove and squeeze the most out of the days where we do have a few hours together. Saturday was one of those days.

We headed out for breakfast/early lunch. (I don't like the word brunch because it sounds snotty and country clubbish and implies overly dry croissants and fruit). Anyway, we went to a vegan/raw restaurant that just opened a month or two ago. It's the only 100% vegan place in the city, and boy was it super yummy!

It's small, and has a decidedly "vegan" feel in that it fits the stereotypical funky, free spirited, hippy kind of vibe. We started our lunchy ordeal sharing cashew ice cream with raw caramel sauce. The raw caramel sauce was amazing. (I know it's weird to begin a meal with ice cream, but hey, I was hungry and it sounded super yum.)

Jesse had a tostada for his main dish...
I went for biscuits and gravy as my main. Both meals were good, but Jesse's was both of our favorite. Mmmm, I tell you, this might be my new favorite place. While we were eating, we were trying to brainstorm who we could take with us there. (The list was small.)

Anyway, after we were all fueled up, we headed over to the city market to see if there were any good deals on fruit to be had. We walked away with a bag full of cherries, some cucumbers, and a couple tomato plants for the garden. (I lost a couple pepper plants and one of my tomato plants to a bad storm a week or so ago.)

Last stop was an Asian grocery store (whose smell took me straight back to the Philippines, for better or worse). We were on the hunt for spring roll wrappers. Only 1 grocery store near us carries them, and they aren't cheap. Thankfully, we found a plentiful supply of wrappers, along with a few other goodies.

(It was a really rainy morning, so that is my excuse for looking like a greaser in this photo...)

That pretty much wrapped up the morning, so we came home to give the dogs a walk in the rain before Jesse left for work and I left to run a few more errands.

All in all, I can't complain - a day that hit most of life's joys - good food, good company, and time spent outdoors.

Bean

We had a good morning outside with the pups!! The black one never fails to entertain...

While the Canuck Is Away....

I have tried to be half productive while the Canuck is away.

The day he left, I took Bean to the vet. He's been having some insane itching. Poor pup has some ferocious allergies. He is all drugged up now with a prescription doggie antihistamine, and I have had the privilege of rubbing ointment on his butt hole every day, and spraying his tummy, feet, and inner thighs down with a cortisone spray two times a day. Bean doesn't really enjoy this process, and let's be honest - there are things I would rather do than smear my dog's corn hole with gel. However, all of this fuss seems to be bringing him some relief, so for now, I will happily continue.

Right now, I am waiting for the 1st coat of paint to dry on our new front door. Our old wooden one had slowly been warping, and in the past month, hit the point where we could hardly even lock it. We finally sucked it up and bought a new one.

On the list of other malfunctioning household items is the lawnmower. Last time I mowed, I didn't think it was going to make it. I managed to squeeze it out and get the yard done (though a rather sloppy job), but it was a struggle the whole time. Today I am waiting for my brother to swing by and drop off his so I can mow in peace. Maybe when the Canuck is back, he can work his magic and figure out what's making ours so unhappy. I am not attempting that one. I have many visions of me chopping off fingers and/or limbs as I am testing the motor, so I added it to the list of "scary jobs I'm too chicken to attempt".

Anyway, hopefully by the day's end, I will have a nice pretty front door, and nice pretty short grass! And if I'm really lucky....a clean house, fresh laundry, and a whole host of other small projects complete - like tying up the honeysuckle vine out front, and putting a fresh coat of high heat paint on our fire pit. We'll see.... I figure if Jesse can get up at 4am, run miles and miles in the really cold snow...I suppose I could probably accomplish a couple things around here before he gets back.

And on that note, since I need to leave for the shelter later this afternoon, I better get back to business this morning!

Garden Bean

I think I may give up already and forget the garden savings calculator this year. We have had terrible weather for seedlings - so much rain, the poor things are waterlogged. I don't know if we will get much of any tomatoes or peppers when the heat comes. Wait and see I guess.

Until then, at least we have been able to pick a few strawberries. Bean especially likes to help me harvest. No matter what I am getting in the garden, he makes sure he gets some too. Even stuff like lettuce, he will happily "harvest" right beside me (by tugging on the fruit or lettuce leaves until he has some success). The strawberries are his favorite though. He has a very specific technique for these delicate plants.

First, you must sniff out a ripe berry. He feels it is his responsibility to make good use of the keen, God-given, dog sense of smell, ya know?

Then, you pick it from the patch, and enjoy the fruit of your labor on the sidelines.

(Sorry for the horizontal photos...still have not found our photoshop cd to install on the Mac, and don't feel like firing up the PC to get to elements...and I don't like picasa either, for the record. Bah humbug!)

Still Here After All

Record low month for blog posts! I have so many things to say this past year, but I simply don't know how to say them. One day, I will figure it out, and then you can hear all of my opinions on life and God and children and love and everything in between.

Until then, let's be shallow.

I have been busy trying to keep up with Jesse in exercise and endurance. Having a marathon man husband has its perks and downfalls. One downfall is that I feel like a total wuss when we do any activities together. Generally, he runs alone, and I work out alone, which is usually good because we have vastly different approaches to our exercise. But on occasion, we collide, and are doing the same activity at the same time. Take last night for instance, we went for a hilly 3.5 mile bike ride, which to Jesse is not even a challenge, and to me...well, let's just say I may have walked those last few hills.

I have also been caught up in a number of evening meetings. We are in the process of building a new animal shelter, and I've tried to be active in making that happen. I'm very excited about this - much better space for the animals, and it will also be much easier on the humans. Our current building is a run down make-shift shelter, which is notorious for frozen pipes in the winter (which means hauling buckets of water in), one lone sink that is placed at exactly the right level to maximize pain in your lower back, and leaky foundations that let water seep in when it rains or snows. (And trust me, it has rained and snowed a lot this year.) So, all that to say, we are in process of raising funds, changing blue prints, and all kinds of other details to get the new shelter up. People often ask me what exactly I do at the shelter, and I will probably blog about that in another post - complete with photos of some of my favorite homeless pups.

Beyond that nitty gritty, we are tackling the garage project now that Jesse has a break between classes. Photos of that to come soon too! If I didn't say it already, he is freaking awesome at house projects. He also happens to be freaking awesome at running, and has a half marathon and a very special birthday party to attend in about a week or so, but I will sadly miss out on both. He will be visiting the land of Tim Horton's sans wife and dogs. Hmmm....now the true question that needs to be pondered for this man: are maple glaze donuts vegan??

My gardens are in suck mode so far this year. It has been raining for, oh...three years...and my poor little seedlings are holding their own, but seem to be putting most of their efforts in staying alive, and very little into actually thriving. This has by far been the worst year ever - normally, I am eating salads from the garden in April, a boatload of snap peas in May, lots of yummy herbs in June, and peppers and tomatoes by July. Not so much of that happening this year. I do have some strawberries, but Bean has discovered them, and he seems to have a sweet tooth, so between the birds and Bean...my tummy isn't getting very much strawberry lovin'.

Speaking of Bean...this rain is making him insane. Too much time inside. I should probably go give all three of them a nice little jog out and about.

Nothing Really

I am behind on blogging, and generally behind on everything else too!

I have been working on our bedroom (again, I know...). It is finally-almost-completely-done. I have some curtain issues I need to work out, but once that is settled, we are in good shape. I'd eventually like to find an area rug for the foot of the bed, but that can wait. (The dogs like to lay there, and I feel bad if they sleep on just the hardwoods, so we've been keeping a dog bed there, but it's so big and bulky.)

A month or two ago, we got a lot of the stuff needed to finish off the garage, but it's just been sitting because we haven't found the time yet. Nothing too major in there....just putting down an epoxy floor (anxious to see how that works out), finish out the drywall, maybe paint it if we're feeling ambitious, and adding some shelving. It has basically become a gym area and we pretty much never park either vehicle in there. We have a hand me down treadmill out there that gets great use, and a couple other gym-ey kind of things. I think the epoxy floor and fresh walls will make it that much nicer to work out, and I can use all the motivation I can get! We ax'ed plans to do anything more fancy than that (were previously considering a full on conversion complete with another bathroom), but given the housing market, and our neighborhood in general, we don't really want to put too much more money into this house.

Anyway, after working on the bedroom, it was yardwork time. Mowing, weed eating, picking up a bazillion sticks that Bean has carried around, yelling at Horton for digging... (Yes, Horton the "good dog"...we've had this pup for years and he never once so much as lifted a paw to the earth, but now suddenly, he's discovered a new hobby and thinks he's pretty cool. He is a total copy cat dog, so I think he saw Bean do it once when we first got him, and now I guess he thinks he should keep it up. Awesome.) Earlier this week I got my tomatoes and peppers planted, but am now second guessing myself. It may have been too wet to plant. A couple of the tomatoes were looking pretty sad today. I need to do a garden savings update...another post!

Anyway, beyond house stuff, it's vegan health mania around here! Jesse is training for a half marathon in Calgary at the end of May, with his full marathon this fall in KC. He is hoping that race will qualify him for Boston, though KC is known as a pretty rigorous course because it has so many hills. Either way, I am already super impressed with him! I am having trouble keeping up with him these days. Beyond his normal training, he's taken to riding his bike pretty much everywhere. Between foot and bike, I think he is often logging 50 plus miles a week. Crap. I am logging about 6.

On that note, I still need to get in a run today before Jesse gets home from work. Now if I only I enjoyed it as much as he does...

Random Ramble About Vacations and Weddings

Every year around this time, Jesse and I start to talk vacations. We have definitely realized the worth in getting away and how much refreshment a vacation can bring, so we've tried to make it a priority the last few years. With Jesse's graduation looming in the next year or two, and our 10th anniversary coming down the line in 2 years, we have debated if we should skip a vacation this year, and save up the money to take a bigger "blow out" vacation before Jesse leaves United and so that we can do something really cool for our 10th - maybe go back to Kona, go on an African safari, or try to spend 2 weeks backpacking around Europe. Of the latter two, I told Jesse that it's hard sometimes to tell if they are things I really want to do, or if they are things I really just want to be able to say I did. I am so thankful that both Jesse and I have gotten to travel and see other cultures, and the value of it has been tremendous. Even so, every passing year, I seem to become more tame in my adventure tastes. I think it's a combination of realizing that I kind of have it great just where I am, and that life isn't as invincible as you once thought it was. Depressing thought, but the older you get, the more people you lose along the way, and at some point, you realize that tomorrow is not a guarantee. I guess you'd think this would be all the more reason to take a big trip and see the world, but at the same time, when you are keenly aware that everything in life that is the most joyful is right under your roof, the world loses some appeal. Sure, I'd love to eat some pastries while looking at the Eiffel Tower; I'd love to see a pack of elephants wondering the wild, and no doubt those moments would make me happy, and let's face it - I'd have awesome bragging rights. =) But for as happy/cool/exciting as those moments would be, I don't know if they compare to the regular every day moments that I have just hanging around all the things that fill my soul up; Jesse, my dogs, my gardens, my little itty bitty house. It's a different kind of excitement I guess.

So, all that to say, we aren't totally sure what we will do. I think most likely we will have a little trip back to Disney (possibly without even going to any of the parks this round) and then we will start saving for a big blow out next round....doubtful it will hit right on our 10th anniversary, but even if it hits on the 9th, we can say we are celebrating 10 years of being together....what's a marriage license anyway? Commitment has very little to do with it. Speaking of which - I would like a do over wedding.

Jesse and I have talked about this... we were so young, and at that stage in life, you have this idea of what things are supposed to be and what people who get married act like and this is what you do and blah blah blah. So, we did that. We had the big wedding, the fluffy white dress, the tuxedos, the catered dinner, the big pretty chapel, the nice cake.... and it was nice and all, but it was so not us!! I wish I would have known myself better at that stage. All I know is if we were getting married today - it would for sure be outside, rain or shine. My dogs would definitely be walking down the aisle at some point, and if someone showed up wearing a tuxedo, I would kick them out! Silly fanciness....I don't care for it. Other people love it...many of my friends really enjoy dressing up nice and going out. I guess that is how some women feel fairy-tale-ish in a wedding dress.

I distinctly remember walking down the aisle, when the doors opened up and I heard that wedding march music, and I remember thinking to myself how stupidly corny and cheesy I felt in that moment. Almost embarrassed. And for years, I replayed that moment in my head, and wondered what it was all about...after all, if we are playing the "supposed to be" game, it should have been one of the happiest moments of my life, and I should have felt beautiful, not stupid. And I always kind of struggled with processing that. Why would I feel that way and what does it mean and blah blah?

I think now I finally know. I was as opposite of my true self as I could be in that moment. I don't like wearing restricting clothes that I can't move well in, or that I am afraid to get dirty in. I don't like wearing high heels. I think Jesse looks silly in a tux (who wears those, really!?), I definitely don't like having a room full of people staring at me, and I definitely don't care for "Canon in D" by Bach or whoever!! But, because I was supposed to do those things, I did. And I just felt silly and stupid. Then I spent years thinking something must be wrong with me, because why would I not have anything but happy memories of my wedding day? (Don't get me wrong - I do have happy memories, but I also have a lot of "oh my gosh, I feel so stupid right now" type of memories.)

I think honestly the ONLY thing I would repeat is the groom. That was a very wise choice, one that fits who I am perfectly. The rest... just kind of makes me laugh now. But, I am happy to have reached that place, where now instead of feeling odd or guilty that maybe my wedding day wasn't all it's cracked up to be, I finally kind of have an idea of why and I don't have to worry that I am some strange person just because I can't say "It was my fairy tale!" like I've heard so many other women say. Fact is, I think it was a corny day, full of cheesy cliches. But, even so, I'm thankful for it - thankful for what it meant, thankful for our parent's generosity in providing exactly what I asked for - even if I was too young and naive to realize that I could ask for anything, (Like "can you clip this little ring pillow on my dog's collar and walk him down the aisle?" or "can we please not have anyone 'officiate'"?)

Anyway, I was young. I was ignorant of myself. But thankfully, by some amazing grace, Jesse and I have grown at the same pace. We doubt together, we realize together, we grow up together. And that's pretty cool....(even if it did all officially begin with lyrical music.)

Okay, so what was I saying about vacations...lol!? I think what I was saying was that I am back in that place - do we just want to go on some big blow out vacation because that seems like what a couple should do if they were in our situation? Or would we be happier with some Mickey Ears and a big carmel apple shaped like Donald Duck? (They don't really have those, but wouldn't it be cool?)

The beautiful problem is, sometimes you have to do these things to figure them out. Go to Disney and maybe ten years later, I will look back and say "What the heck!? Why didn't we got to Europe!?" or go to Africa and ten years, look back and say "I would have enjoyed the fake safari at Animal Kingdom more!"

Ah, life, you're a lovable bitch!

Bad Bean

Somebody decided his Kong toys were not as much fun as the pillow. (In his defense, the pillow was on the floor and he is only 10 months old.) I did really like that pillow, but more than that, I love the chaos that can be dogs.

Easter Weekend

Easter weekend was like every other weekend - it went by way too fast! Here are a few pics...


We dropped off the dogs at Pete and Mac's and then headed up to my mom's house yesterday. Our newest niece is not quite 2 months old yet, but Grandma very much enjoyed watching the silly baby expressions.

I also got in some baby time...

And Uncle Jesse humored me and took a photo with Jada and I, but that is as close to her as he got. He declared yesterday, that since his rule of not touching babies has been effective for 30 years, he intends to keep it like that until his own baby shows up someday.

After eating yummy food and being treated to some early Easter Bunny presents, we headed out to retrieve the dogs. They always come home from Pete and Mac's with report cards, which make me smile. (Great marketing, whoever thought of it!) When we lived in Colorado, we went to the dog park every weekend, and I used to make fun of the people there who took their dogs to daycare places and then talked about their grades at the park. Now I am one of "those people". Bean and Monkey were reported to be party animals, with Bean being very popular with all the other dogs, and Monkey enjoying her time with one specific dog, "flirting". (We believe this is code for humping.) Horton got "fantastic" on his report, with notes that he loved watching all the action.

Today, we woke up to beautiful weather, so Jesse and I headed over to one of our favorite trails to do some bike riding.

Jesse has been practicing his "bunny hop", and this was the best photo I got of it. Too bad I cut off his head! At least you can see that he is getting some air!

By the river...will be much pretty in a month or two when the trees green up. Plus, we just had a bad storm, and there was a lot of debris around/on the trail.


After biking, we grilled out for lunch and both agreed that we thought people who decided to eat a big Easter dinner inside were crazy to be missing out on the great weather! In fact, it was so inspiring, we did a bunch of yard work after lunch.

Bean and Monkey were horrible good helpers, picking up all the sticks they have tossed about the yard.

Horton isn't interested in sticks, but the hose is another story!

My snow fountain cherry was at the peak of beauty today! It is so big and full right now. (The stakes all over the yard in the background are our attempt at keeping the dogs out of patchy areas of lawn that we just over seeded.)


I think this is the best photo we have gotten of Bean. He was pretty happy looking out into the backyard.

And that pretty much sums it up!

Most Recent Covet I Can't Get Over: Waffle Iron

If I didn't have a legitimate reason to buy a waffle maker before, I do now.

Look at these waffled chocolate chip cookies. And waffeled falafels!!

Oh now I have a craving....

You Knew I Would....

Couldn't help but share a couple pics of the Bean settling into our life

Green Bean

Well, most of you probably know by now that Dwight (who is now called Bean) is a permanent fixture in our house. We officially adopted him yesterday. I think somewhere in the back of our minds, we knew we were horrible at fostering, but it was always one of those "what if" lingering questions of mine.... Now I have my final answer: we suck at fostering. Maybe when we are older and have no other permanent dogs, we will get to a place where we can be a revolving door of dogs in need, but for now, if it has four legs and enters our home, it generally stays.

Actually, since getting Monkey, we have discussed the "need" for a third dog. Horton will be 11 in May and Monkey is probably around 2, so their energy levels are not a good match. Bean is a nice buffer that helps meet Monkey's need for play, and Horton's need for rest. (And my need to fill the house with as much furry love as possible.) Bean seems to be that magical dog that had the ability to slide into our family without missing a beat. Monkey even shares her toys with him, which is a small miracle in and of itself.

In any case, beyond doggie news, the weekend has been kind of depressing. It was beautiful all week while I was stuck indoors at work, and I was so excited for the weekend, making big plans to do some yardwork, grill out, and enjoy some summery drinks. Instead, in a bipolar moment, Mother Nature dumped a few inches of snow, completely covering my very first daffodil that bloomed this season. I have pretty much been sulking ever since. On top of that, Jesse didn't get in until 3 something last night, courtesy of the crap weather, delayed flights, and poor McManagement.

Oh well, hopefully this time next weekend I will be outside enjoying some sun! Next Saturday is the inaugural Rock the Parkway and I am eagerly anticipating seeing the hubs run a sub-20 5k. After that, a 4 day work week and Easter are in the pipe! So really, I guess once this snow melts, everything is looking up.

But until then, I mope.

Too Much Happy!!

Weeeeeee!!!!!!!! I picked up Dwight tonight on my way home from work! After the shelter, we stopped for some gas and then headed to Petsmart to get some supplies... I was so wound up, I paid, and then left without my stuff. Didn't realize it until I got to the car, loaded Dwight, and felt kind of empty handed. I turned around and the guy who was in line behind me was coming out with my stuff. I mumbled something about being distracted by the dog, and then as I was driving home, I couldn't remember if I even told him thank you!! I hope I did, but I was just all squirrely.

Dwight had 2 major admirers in PetSmart. One lady even circled back around the store just so she could pet him again...and then talked to me for about ten minutes about what a sweet dog he is, and how if people meet him and he will get adopted right away and this and that. He sits very politely for petting, which I think won him some brownie points.

They got the lab results back and he does have a slight bladder infection, so he will be on meds for a while. I hope this means his accidents at the shelter were due to that and not a lack of being potty trained. It would make it much easier on us if he is housebroken!

The shelter has a very distinct smell. It's this odd mix of the floor cleaner we use there, plus dog food, plus dirty dog. Dwight smells 100% shelter. And he was farting the whole drive home. He just went through his deworming session, so I am sure he will have some interesting gut action happening over the next few days.

He is guessed to be about 10 months old...a stray that was found way up north. A lab mix of some sort. And he has a 3/4 length tail that I hope is by genetics and not a stupid person.

When I got home, Jesse had already left for class, so I had to strategize the introductions. I have had to break up dog fights on my own before, and it's not fun at all. I left Dwight in the car, put a lead on Monkey and then let she and Horton in the backyard. After that, I went around and got out Dwight, thinking they would sniff through the fence. It was clearly too much distraction being outdoors, as Monkey and Horton were crazy wound up. I could see a "red zone" situation brewing so I put Dwight back, then decided to change my strategy a little. I went and let Monkey in the backdoor, kept Horton out, then brought Dwight in the front door, so that I had a hold of both Dwight and Monkey's leads. When I was confident in their "I am not planning to kill you" messages to one another, I let Horton in. (I never worry about him meeting new dogs...he is an angel and loves everyone.)

There was a ton of communication at the beginning....Monkey putting her head over Dwight's again and again (a sign that she is higher in the pack), Dwight licking her and Horton's mouths (a sign he is willing to submit), and a fair amount of humping as well! (Also a way to display dominance.) Since then, they have been playing non-stop!

Anyway, here is part of our introductions...about 15 minutes after they had all met. (I realize the odds of anyone but my mother watching a minute and 45 seconds of dogs is slim. Still, I post.)

Happy Heart

My heart is soooo happy. I am thrilled to introduce you to Dwight, the little lab mix below!

For nearly two years, Jesse and I have talked about fostering. When the idea first came up, most of our resources (including time and heart) were going toward caring for Abe in his final year, so fostering got set aside. We didn't feel it would be fair to subject Abe to a revolving door of dogs coming and going. Then, when we had to say bye to Abe, we were just too sad to foster. Plus, at some point through all this, Monkey made an appearance, and we were definitely not looking for a third dog when she showed up! So, we felt there was enough to deal with without having a foster.

Enter spring time this year, and the timing finally seemed right...or at least okay. So, I nervously e-mailed Leslie (pres. of the doggie non-profit I volunteer with) and we began chatting about some possibilities. Yesterday when I was at the shelter for my regular routine, Leslie and I narrowed it down to two dogs, so I called Jesse and asked if he wanted to bring Horton and Monkey over for a meet and greet, which is exactly what we did.

(Side story: Monkey was terrified at the shelter. She was about frozen stiff, and was frothing so bad she had a huge white beard by the end of the evening. And, she did not want to leave Horton's side. I don't know her history beyond when Jesse found her as a starving little stray downtown, so who knows if she had been in some sort of animal control facility before or if she just knew the shelter was not a place she wanted to stay for very long...but the poor girl was just worried sick.)

Anyway, despite Monks nerves, we did our meet and greet, and the clear choice by Horton and Monkey was Dwight. He was submissive to both and proved that he could slide right into the Nikkel pack without missing a beat. We did not bring him home with us right then though, as I could tell I had overwhelmed Jesse by the sudden, excited phone call. Bring Horton and Monkey over to meet some dogs!!! I am hoping to pick Dwight up one evening this week.

We are currently waiting on some lab tests. He may have a bladder infection, or possibly just needs house training. We should know this week. Regardless, this is Dwight, who will be bunking at the Nikkel house until he finds his forever family.

All that to say.....BEWARE!!!! I have another dog in my home....annoying stories and photos about all the wonderful cuteness happening in my house shall be exploding soon! Another dog....ahhhh!! I'm so happy!!!

Garden Update

One thing I am trying to do better at this year in the garden is planning. As I was out working this morning, I kept making new diagrams in my head, trying to figure out the timing, remember what was where last year (I try not to put the same plant in the same bed two years in a row), and keep it all straight. Lots of people told me I should keep a garden journal every year, which I thought seemed so silly, but the more years that go by, the more I find myself wishing I would have kept better records.

Anyway, I got my chard and sugar snaps planted today, but after that, my fingers were feeling too chilly in the soil, so I decided to leave the rest for later this week. Here is what I am thinking for my plan this year, though I realized after I made this, that I already have strawberries where my swiss chard is on this diagram, so I think I will probably relocate the chard to the pepper & herb bed. That bed is pretty flexible anyway. I still haven't decided for sure what I will put in there, so I may scrap it all together and start anew. I will probably end up putting the peppers to the pea bed, since they won't be going in until the peas are winding down anyway. Then, that will free up an entire row where I could put in something like cucumbers or watermelon.


Anyway, here is my diagram, but I guess it's already out of date due to my strawberry forgetfulness and change of heart on my pepper location!

Biographical Bodies

The other day at work I was chatting with one of my co-workers about her new gym membership. I found myself laughing in familiar recognition as she described various areas that could "be improved". I don't know why, but I've had a lot of these types of conversations lately. Maybe it is the life stage I'm in, where I have a lot of friends having kids, and of course pregnancy is doing all kinds of new things to the body.

Whether thanks to pop culture and Hollywood, or expectations of women in general - whatever the reason - my body used to be about how it looked, and not much more. It was a decoration to me - the poster of which I present myself to the world. In a sense, I was mostly unaware of it....only really taking time to think about it when I had to try on a swimsuit or stand next to a tall blond.

Now, I realize how blind and silly I have been. Of course looks will always be a part of our culture and to some extent, an extension of our personality, but I have come to realize that is such a small fraction of what the body is about. I can just hear your collective sigh...well duh, Natasha! But, I honestly never realized this until the last year or so. And the realization has made me infinitely more kind to myself.

So my legs will always look like a gymnast's, in the worse sense of the word, but who cares? These are the legs that let me walk my dogs. These are the legs let me feel the rush of wind when they pedal my bike fast. They let me kneel in my garden, kneel to receive a puppy kiss at the shelter, and kneel when I'm sad and angry and confused and happy and everything in between in awe of God. Why would it even cross my mind to think about how they look when they afford me all of this?

We, as humans, women in particular, are the worst kind of cruel to ourselves. We beat ourselves up over words we wish we would not have said, we replay life moments in our minds and focus on our inadequacies, and we spend too much time trying to make our bodies be what they are not. Maybe you are one of the weird ones who was spared all self-doubt and criticism, but I would dare to say most of us are not. Men are included here, though it's not as socially acceptable for men to lament their bodily state as it is for women. Even so, when the walls come down and the vulnerability is exposed, I know of plenty of guys who mourn the loss of their hair, who feel self-conscious over the spare tire... but really, why do we do this to ourselves?

I for one am tired of it. If I can't appreciate my body for how it looks, surely I can appreciate it because it lets me taste, it lets me see, it lets me laugh and smile and communicate to the world. It tells me when something is wrong, and lets me know when I've left my life get all of whack and I need to step back and have a time out. And women who are mothers - this is the ultimate - your body gave life. How dare our society look at it in judgement, how dare so many industries focus be on preventing stretch marks and too much weight gain when you are in the middle of growing a child?

In a sense, our bodies are our biographies.

There's a scar on my wrist. I got it playing "wolf" as a little girl when I fell onto some exposed box mattress springs. There's also a scar on my forehead. I got it during an accident in the Philippines. There are my brown eyes, who allowed a total stranger in the airport to recognize some part of my grandmother and mother in me. He knew, just by looking, that I was "one of those Green girls". There are two holes in my right ear, and only one in my left, from the time I was in 6th grade and my friend and I thought it was super cool to have lop sided piercings. There is my short stature, courtesy of two grandfathers who barely top 5'6. This is all part of my story, part of my heritage, part of what makes me who I am. How could I have ever wished to have another person's story?

For whatever reason, I am coming to gain a deep respect and appreciation for this vessel that I am in. Out of gratitude, I want to tread easy on it.

And maybe as I gain a deeper appreciation for the outside, I can start to be a little kinder to the inside too.

Sure, I have yet to master the art of telling jokes, and I have a nagging problem of saying too little, surely out of fear that one of my (usually very strong) opinions will come out with too much force and scare someone away. But once the social awkwardness disappears, there's some pretty good left overs.

I think there is in all of us. So, even though we are inevitably present in the moments where the very worst of us comes out, let's not dismiss the moments where we are overflowing with mercy and grace for those around us and the person within us.

Spring has sprung and that means garden geek out time.

Every year about this time, I get my seeds and I start prepping my soil, and I doubt.

Will my plants grow?

I don't know why I have this feeling, but inevitably, as I'm sowing my seeds, there is some fret that nothing will come of it, and I find myself praying.

Please make these plants grow.

Sure enough, each summer, I watch as the seeds grow, and each summer, I am amazed. The simple awe of a growing plant still gets me every time, as if I were five years old. I have been proud lately because spring is here and we are still eating tomatoes I grew and preserved last summer. I love the idea of being able to feed my little family (which I guess is just Jesse at this point) a meal that I literally made from scratch - from soil to table. It's a beautiful storyline that makes me go all vegan geek out.

Anyway, none the less, today falls in the in the season of doubt, before anything has grown, and I can't help but wonder....

What if this is the year nothing grows? What if I neglected my soil too much last year? What if I have overworked my beds, demanding too much of too few square feet?

Even so, despite the doubt, I will prep my soil and I will write love letters to my earthworms, and I will yell at my dogs when they jump in my gardens.

Also, I decided this year, I will do the "garden savings" tracker again. The first year I did it, I started a bit late, so things weren't completely precise. Plus, I find myself forgetting details of my garden that I wish I'd have written down somewhere. (Like what variety of lettuce I used last year...it was very slow to bolt.) My blog will be a good record for me, even if no one else cares to read it.

Thus begins my garden savings for 2010. (I am in the hole right now.)

Seeds:

Spinach (Double Choice Hybrid...I think I did Grand Teton last year) - 1.88

Peas (Cascadia Sugar Snap...have never ventured away from this variety) - 1.07

Lettuce (Little Gem) - 2.47

Marigold (Petite Yellow) x 4 packs - 1.25

*New for 2010!* Swiss Chard (Large Ribbed Dark Green) - .97

*New for 2010!* Kale (Dwarf Blue Curled, Vate's Straing) - .97

Total Garden Savings to Date = -13.11 (I'm including tax)

Cookies

Some girls can never have enough shoes.

For me, it's kitchenware. While shopping, I must physically touch every ceramic pitcher, platter, or bowl within 100 yards and comment to anyone who will listen - Oh my gosh! This is so beautiful! This time of year is especially bad, because stores are lining their shelves with new summer dishes. And while I'm not quite as bad when it comes to kitchen appliances, I did have a good ol' time at Target the other day, lifting each waffle maker up and down....(especially the one with the changeable grid so you can make duck or cow shaped waffles - ah!!)

Anyway, all that to say, a few weeks ago, when Jesse and I were browsing World Market and I spied a maple leaf cookie cutter, it was a no-brainer; I had to purchase. Think of all the events it could be useful for....July 1, Canadian Thanksgiving....

Okay, so maybe only 2 events, but still.

Since buying it, every time I opened our cutlery drawer, it made me remember that I had the cookie cutter and get all excited. But, life has a way of being busy, and I had not gotten a chance to use it.

Enter tonight....nothing on the books and I'm home alone with the pups. Definitely maple leaf cookie time! (It's in the spirit of the Olympics, after all.) I almost made royal icing and piped them in red and white, but that just seemed too Canadiany for an American gal who should clearly root for her own.


Why is it that shaped food is so happy? I remember one time when I was a kid, my mom made shaped pancakes, and it was so cool to have a letter N made just for me... and at Disney World, I may or may not begin my days with Mickey shaped waffles....

Canada day is only a few months away - I promise you this cookie cutter will get a work out.

Jada

Jesse and I ran some dinner over to my brother's last night and I got a non-phone photo this time! Jesse was quite content holding the camera while I held the baby. He is being true to his I don't touch babies rule.