My Name is Nikki...And Other Stuff.

Last night, I saw 9 Parts of Desire. Beautiful. It's basically monologues of Iraqi women, but in the end, all the stories seem to cross into each other and you have a hard time separating yourself from the characters. I was near tears numerous times and really thought I was going to totally lose it near the end. It really left me speechless. Definitely see this if it comes to your area. I may do another blog post later on this, but I think I will need a few days to gather thoughts on it, and I'm not sure if I will ever come to any conclusions.

The fall schedule came out at school, and looking at classes, I was a bit worried because a couple of the studio classes I needed were scheduled for the exact same times, and I'm to a point where I can't afford to just slowly take them in, since 90%of what I have left is studio work. It made me worry about the drawbacks of being in a small art dept. that simply doesn't have enough students to fill classes each semester. I was brainstorming all these other options, like taking classes at another school at the same time, and then transferring in some studio work. Anyway, my worries were cheerfully resolved after I met with the dept. head. She basically registered me into my own little section and will let me work on my stuff outside of the normal scheduled class times. After the meeting instead of worrying about being at a small dept., I was extremely happy with a small dept. who can afford to know me by name (actually, let me get to that later), and bend over backward to accommodate me. I would never get that kind of flexibility at a bigger school. Just another reason I am loving this place compared to the institute. It's a whole other culture. I just highly doubt many other schools would be so accommodating and individualized.

Anyway, about being known by name at a small school....well, it's sort of true. The dept. head keeps calling me "Nikki". I am not sure how to correct it. I've said my name to her before, but I know that she hears the "Nikk" part in my last name, and then also sees the spelling, and in her mind, it registers as "Nikki". I don't really care, as long as she knows who I am, but it could be embarrassing for her to be calling me that when everyone else knows my real name... I've been trying to find a good time to correct it, but it's not come up yet, and I'm worried the longer it goes, the worse it could get. But, I don't want to correct her in public and embarrass her...but then I'm not really sure what to do. And I totally understand where she got "Nikki" - I've got N's all over the place, and a "Nikk"...visually and audibly...so I can see the mistake. But, I'm just not sure how to correct it. I feel like I already should have corrected it long ago the first time I heard, and now it's all gotten out of hand. But, it's one of those things where the first time or two I heard her say it, I was listening really hard, thinking "Did she actually just call me Nikki or did I mishear?" And like I said, I don't really care if she calls me that. My name gets so butchered anyway and I'm used to not being called by my real name, but I'm more concerned about the embarrassment factor that could happen to her. And now I just don't know what to do!

Anyway, with all this spring in the air, Jesse and I both get an itch to do home improvements. We got a new oven. New to us, that is. It's a used smooth top, but with some elbow grease, baking soda, and ammonia, it cleaned right up. We sold our old stove, so now we have all white appliances in the kitchen, which looks much better than the random black stove in the sea of white. We also have made back all of our money from the screen doors we bought at the auction. Sweet. The auction is becoming a slight addiction for Jesse, and he has thus been banned until all of the crap is out of the garage. He came into the office this evening and declared to me "I've become Papa!" (Papa, his grandpa, "collected" lots of random items...) His most recent auction purchases (and I don't even know all of them) are these two huge fan units, a couple ladders, a box of honeycomb-like plastic (I asked "What is that?" when he showed it to me, and he happily replied "I have no idea!" - in his defense, he does have a couple ideas of what he is going to do with it), and some other random stuff, I don't even know what all is out there. Anyway, so Jesse is banned from partaking in all auction-like actions until further notice.

The pergola is up, just needs to be painted. And do you know what else is up? My daffodils!!!! In just a couple weeks, I'll have full on tulip/daffodil/jonquil mania. Plus, once the pergola is painted, I can plant a vine to grow up it. I'm still anxiously awaiting the sprouting of my seeds. Nothing yet, but it hasn't quite been a week, so it's still early. None the less, I am anxious. Spring is finally here!!

Home

The front pergola has been going up this week. I'm pretty excited about it and have been looking into some vines that I can grow up it. It also makes me very excited to do the back one. Jesse is so handy.




This is the "after" of the kitchen cabinets...though my "before" is apparently on the other memory card, so I don't have it right now.



While Jesse was working on the pergola, I got my seeds in, which reminds me that I need to go check them this morning and maybe water. I also tried to clean up the backyard a bit. Our ornamental grasses needed to be cut back for spring, so I got those done. Abe helped. His latest thing has been "jungle Abe" where he likes to go crawl in between the grasses and then he will peer out at us from behind them. It's really cute, especially right now since everything is still brown and he looks all camouflage. Anyway, unfortunately, I had to cut back his hiding spots, but he made sure to supervise while I was doing so.

Exciting Discoveries!

I just discovered igoogle a few weeks ago (well, technically, Jesse discovered it and showed it to me.) Can I just say, this website has revolutionized the way I surf the internet and saves me hours? I have all of the blogs that I check regularly feed into it, so now, instead of typing in each url, I can just go to one spot and see if anyone has updated. Plus, no more time spent sitting in front of the computer thinking "now what other sites do I check?" Anyway, I can also see my gmail from there, so I'm really thinking about switching from my hotmail account and using gmail as my primary.

Another very exciting discovery has been the wealth of thrift store/rehab/good deals places information that Jesse and I have recently been obtaining. Jesse's friend introduced him to the Habitat ReStore, which is like a thrift store for construction goods, along with the occasional brand-spanking new items. Just one trip there has already saved us over 100 bucks on screws and hardware for our pergola.

Also, another friend of ours told us about "the caves". They have an auction each week and it is so totally random you wouldn't even believe it. We went on Thursday for the first time, and as you walk through, this is how it goes: to your left, there's a pallet full of mayonnaise packets...to your right there's a 55 gallon drum of who knows what solution....behind you is a paddle boat...in front of you is a solid mahogany door...so random. Jesse and I bid on a number of items, and ended up winning one lot. We got a (small) pallet of doors. We had been wanting to put a new door on the front of our house, and priced at Lowe's, we were looking at 200 bucks. Well, we bid 61 bucks on this pallet, and got the exact door we were looking at (actually, we got 3 of them), and then a number of screen doors. Sweet! As for the extra doors, we've had a few people tell us that they need/want doors, so we will be able to get rid of them. And, we checked out another store someone told us about, which is also totally random (actually, this store is run by the same people as the auction), and Jesse got some wiring stuff and I got a necklace and earrings for a dollar. Man, I love a good deal. Anyway, with all of these new places for home goods, it's actually becoming quite feasible that we can do things at our house that we didn't think we could afford anytime soon (such as replacing windows or putting up crown moulding). Very exciting stuff I tell you!

Other exciting news...the kitchen cabinets are painted!! Whoo hoo!! (I have pictures that I'll post later.)

Anyway, that's the big excitement around here lately. Today is the last day of my spring break, which has unfortunately turned out to be insanely busy. Such is life I guess.

Oh, and for anyone who cares, that Estee Lauder makeup - totally worth the money. I'm sold.

Photos and what not coming later.....

Visits, School, Work, and Day Planner Adultness

I'm sitting in the living room, the dogs are outside, Jesse is in bed, and everything is quiet. It is a good time to unwind from the week, which had lots of exciting things in it, and also lots of busy things in it.

It was midterm for me at school, so I had portfolio reviews, got loaded up with projects to be done over the break, and also had my online finals since it is the end of the eight week semester. I felt overwhelmed with school stuff that piled on this week, but overall, I am still really enjoying it. Funny, psychology was so important to me, and keeping the credits I had and making sure I got a minor in it and this and that was such a big thing to me, but now I don't really care. Sure, it's still interesting to me, but compared to art, I'm not really so concerned about it anymore. I may still get a minor in it, but it won't break my heart if it doesn't work out either. What a funny journey, only to get right back to the place I started.

Anyway, I also started my new job this week, which is the one that I was so excited about possibly happening a few weeks ago. Yeah it happened! I'm doing office work for an interior designer and his partner, and it has some decent potential for some creative work as well. Plus, the hours are flexible, and I really like these guys. God's just piling up those blessings lately.

And this coming week is my spring break, so no classes, which means we can finally paint the kitchen cabinets. I plan to get them sanded down on Monday and all ready to go. Once that is done, we are hoping to start in on our pergolas, and of course, it's March, and last frost date here is early April, which means seed planting time!!! I think I will try to get in the lettuces, spinach, and snap peas this week. Can hardly wait!

In other exciting news, I got a day planner. This is the first time in my life where I actually have a need for one. Especially now with the job, whose days and hours vary. This is really funny, because I have been married for 6 years, and I am on my second mortgage, but the purchase of a day planner has made me feel more like a real official adult than anything else in my life.

Anyway, I saved the best stuff for last in this post...as many of you know, Jesse's mom was here this past week (so she got to enjoy the full-on stressed out version of myself - ha!). I at least got to spend some time with her and Jesse yesterday after school stuff had calmed down. We went out to dinner, which was quite tasty, and as usual, I am about five pounds heavier from her visit. (She always brings a load of candy from the great north!)

Here are some photos of the visit, and when I have some time, I have a short little video clip to post for Trae on another day.

Wednesday evening my mom came down and Jesse and his mom cooked dinner for all of us (lasagna - yum!).

Thursday morning, I had class, which happened to be at the Nelson. Jesse and his mom dropped me off, and explored around while I was in class. Not sure what all they did, but these are some of the photos I found on the camera from that morning.







And finally, after putting together our photo album a few months ago, I realized how very few photos we have of anything except us and the dogs, so I had to get one last one in before the visit was over.

Almost Six

It is almost our sixth anniversary, which means we have been together almost seven years. Weird! We did lots of debating about what we would do to celebrate. I didn't realize it at the time, but we picked a great date for the wedding, because every year on our anniversary we have tax refund money to spend. Jesse has the weekend off. I have no idea when we actually had two days off together in a row last...possibly vacation last fall? Whatever the case, it is nice. Today we went down to the Nelson-Atkins, (an art museum), because I needed to check out some things for school. Then we went to the Habitat ReStore, which is awesome. Basically, a thrift store for construction goods. We picked up what we could for our anniversary present, which is going to be two pergolas - one in the front of the house and one over the back deck. Tomorrow we will go to Lowe's and pick up the rest. Funny how Lowe's has become our anniversary celebration place of choice! I know it doesn't seem romantic or what you should traditionally do to celebrate an anniversary, but I am not really into expensive wine and white linen tablecloth dinners. I'd much rather spend the day dreaming about home projects and future house ideas and then spend the next few weeks working with Jesse to make something cool. Plus, after it's done, we can enjoy the summer marveling at our hard work. It's like a whole season of enjoyment, rather than some fancy dining experience that only lasts two hours. Every once in a while, that is alright, but definitely not annually. I guess every couple finds what works for them and what doesn't, and remodeling is definitely a hobby that Jesse and I share, so why not enjoy it together on our anniversary?

Anyway, here are some photos...thought it was about time...


Just inside the Nelson...



Taking some notes...


Just outside the Nelson...


These shuttlecocks are famous. (B&W because the camera was set on some funky setting that I was having a terrible time color-correcting.)

It was so nice today. When we got home, we sat out back and Horton got to play in the hose. If you hold it up high, he tries to bite the water right as it comes out. (Although sometimes he gets too close and gets your hand instead...ouch!)


Me and two of my favorite boys...

Abe looks big here...

Horton helped me frame out the photos...

New Makeup

I have been wanting new make-up for a while. I want SPF in the daytime, but I hate that greasy feel that so many moisturizers have, plus I don't like spending more than five minutes on makeup, so I wanted something that could just do it all - look nice, give me some spf coverage, and be non-greasy and oil-absorbing. Turns out, that's not so easy to find. I had just been browsing around and reading reviews of different products online casually. In my research, I found out that the majority of the products I was using are linked to animal testing. So, that sped up my desire to find something new, as I don't want to patronize that. And you can't trust labels. Burt's Bees, for example, is known for it's organic, all natural, animal friendly line...but that's only sort of true, as Burt's Bees was bought by Clorox, and Clorox does not share the same stance. It's merely one nice line, but the end profit goes back to the big company whose values may be questionable. As I looked into more and more lines, it became nearly impossible to find a drugstore brand that would be free and clear of animal testing. And the thing is, with technology, there are really great alternatives to animal testing, especially for beauty products. So, I don't see any reason/excuse good enough for why a beauty company should use animals.

Anyway, I came to the final conclusion that I was just going to have to fork out a bit more money and go with a company whose values I trust. I settled on Clinique, and eventually mustered up the courage to go to the beauty counter in the mall. (Those things seriously intimidate me. I've never really used them before. I don't know how they work. I don't really know how to apply makeup anyway, and I don't understand if you are supposed to go to the counter make-up-less so that they can find your shade and do your make-up there, or what. And pretty girls with nice make-up behind the counter scare me lest they see my humble attempts at my own make-up and scoff.) Anyway, so yesterday was the day. I got there (there being the department store), and "browsed" the clothes for about thirty minutes before I got the courage to walk over to the counter. I stared through the glass for just a few seconds before one of those pretty girls behind the counter approached me. I was somewhat relieved when I looked up, and noticed that she had make-up lines along her chin (Alas, pretty girls behind the counter who have had training can't even apply their make-up flawlessly, so maybe I'm not that beauty incompetent after all.) Anyway, so I told her what I was looking for, and she was very helpful. In fact, when Clinque didn't have something to suit me, she went and asked the manager something, and then came back over to me, and recommended another brand. (She had asked the manager if it was okay to send me to another counter.) So then she, the manager, and this other lady were all talking to me, trying to figure out what product I would like and talking about their various blemishes and what makeup does and doesn't work for them, and eventually, we all agree that this other brand may have what I'm looking for. So, my original pretty lady behind the counter walks me over to the other counter, and helps me with this other brand's make up, which I eventually bought. (Estee Lauder's double wear powder foundation.) It is by far the most money I have ever spent on a make-up product. But, it's animal friendly, it has spf, it matches my skin, it's light, it's not greasy, it's one-step, and I'm assuming it will last a long time.

Lessons learned:
You can't always trust brand labels.
Pretty girls behind the counter are actually really nice and very like-able.

This and That

First, what is up with this winter going on so long? Where is the sun?! Daylight savings is only 2 1/2 weeks away, and we are not supposed to have ice and coldness and this sleet...what is up with that? Jesse says this winter has been warmer, but to me, it seems much much longer, and much much colder.

I filled out my FAFSA for next year...looks like I'm not eligble for any federal grants...boo. Oh well. We (as in Jesse) got our taxes filed. We are getting another good chunk of a refund. There are lots of things around here that we would really like to spend it on, but I think we have decided that instead, we will finish paying off our car loan (not much left on it), and finish paying off my medical bill. Not very exciting, but we figured if we did that, then the month to month expenses won't be so tight since we'll be eliminating two monthly bills that we have right now. If there ends up being anything left over after paying off those two things, then I think we may build a new shed or put up a pergola or two. I'm very excited about the possibility of that.

On the job front, the psych office offered me the position. I decided to turn it down though. I didn't feel quite right about it after either the first or second interview, and while we could use the money, I just didn't feel like it would turn out to be a good thing. Jesse agreed, so we decided that I should look for something else. That is possibly paying off already, as I have a promising opportunity work-wise that I am way excited about in the works. It's not fully official yet, so I won't go into many details, but if you want to pray that it works out, I wouldn't be sad at all. I'll tell you more about it in the next couple weeks, especially if it all pans out.

Jesse is redoing the garage. We went to Barnes and Noble yesterday, and Jesse decided he'd read this huge book called something like "Electrical Code 549" or something... Wow.

School is going well. I'll have to post some of my projects someday. I only have 2 1/2 weeks left in my online semester. I'll have a week off as far as "online" and then another online semester will start, that ends at the same time as my regular "in person" semester. Spanish II for the online semester - I'm really dreading that one. I don't mind learning Spanish, and actually would love to be fluent in it, but doing it online in the accelerated semesters is too much too fast. Oh well, when this is done, I will have my 8 hours of foreign language finished, and no mas espanol!! And, actually, after this summer, I will only have 2 gen ed type classes left, and then it's pretty much all studio work or something art related. Eventually, I need to choose my discpline, and I'm not too sure where I'm heading with that one. In the meantime, I am learning lots of fancy snobby overly intellectual art words to toss around whilst judging other people's work....that's so achromatic....

Jobs

I had my second interview today. They haven't given me any clear idea of what exact days/times they would need me to work, and I am feeling kind of leery about it. I can't promise that I can show up anytime, because I need to put finishing my degree first. I mean, part of the job sounds good, but other parts sound like red flags that it may not be a good fit...so I don't know. I keep waivering. Not working isn't an option with our finances, but I don't want to take a job where I am constantly in tension over scheduling. The whole reason I had to leave my last job was that it didn't work with my school schedule, and I don't want to have to do that again. Oh well...Horton and Abe are both snoozing away, not feeling too stressed out over it...maybe I should take my cue from them!

Seeds

Jesse and I went to Lowe's today to spend a couple gift cards that we had from our birthdays or Christmas. I bought 12 packs of seeds, and he bought some wire stuff. (He wants to rewire our garage, and eventually our house...we have old wires, and when he uses power tools, it draws so much amperage that the house lights flicker and dim.) Anyway, when we got home, I was excitedly telling him all about my master garden plan, but shortly into it, I noticed the blank stare on his face....so I told him he could go play with his wires and I would blog and make everyone else listen to my master garden plan so that he didn't have to be so bored.

So today, I got seeds, which include:

Flowers for the front of the house: Blanketflower, Butterfly Flower, Tritoma, Sunflower, and Marigold. I'm doing an orange/red/yellow scheme to go with our red shutters, and am going to put up a hummingbird feeder by the window so we can watch them from inside. And the sunflowers should be good for attracting other birds. (Don't worry, I got dwarf sunflower varieties, so it won't be too country-looking.)

Garden seeds: Bib lettuce, Romaine lettuce, spinach, kohlrabi, sugar snap peas, bush beans, and squash.

Once the weather warms up, I will get transplants for eggplant and lavender as well, but those are more tricky to start from seed. Plus, I don't really have the space to set up seedling containers. Tomatoes are still in debate. I could do without, because last year my plants went nuts and we had WAY more than we knew what to do with. Even now, we still have a deep freezer full of tomatoes, so we don't really need more. However, Jesse says he likes them fresh, and he wants me to grow at least one plant. If I have room I probably will, but I'm excited to try some new things this year, and tomatoes, bell peppers, and cucumbers are on the chopping block to give me more space. I hope I haven't forgotten anything. Last year, I most missed spinach and green beans, so I made sure to get stuff for them this year. I also want more flowers this year, so I think I will do a row of flowers in between each vegetable variety. Marigolds are good for nematodes anyway, so it will be good for my soil.

I will be able to start sewing the cool vegetables in late March, so I only have a few weeks before I can be out there again. I can't wait. The other happy thing is that we should be able to eat our strawberries this year. I planted them last year, and for the first year, you are supposed to pick all the blooms off before they pollinate and make fruit. It lets the plant put its energy into making roots instead of making fruit, and then you should have a strong plant, with more fruit for the future. Hopefully this worked.

Anyway, so be prepared...the spring is coming which means you will once again be bombarded with garden posts and photos because I am a horticultural geek who loves my earthworms dearly.

6 some hours later...

I think we are finally organized (mostly at least)! I worked in the office all afternoon. I should have taken a "before" photo to show you the messiness that was our office. However, all I have to offer are my "after" photos (Which I'm sure are not nearly as exciting to anyone else as they are to me).


Horton and Abe's pad here... (They are so spoiled.) Jesse made the bed lifter thingies a week or so ago, so we can now put bins underneath, giving us some much needed storage/stash junk space. I also sewed "pillow cases" for their beds, which are some funky blue and gray paisley print. I like paisley pattern, but this was paisley color gone wrong, especially when combined with the other colors that were in the room.



These are the new curtains I sewed (they are actually semi-straight...a milestone in my sewing career!) I liked the print of the old curtains, but I quickly realized when organizing, it limited me to either pink or aqua greenish accents, and I was afraid it would be too childish looking, so I decided on a new theme of black, white, and khaki. I had been keeping my eye out for good deals the last two weeks, and came across this last weekend, at 70% off. It's considered "Christmas fabric" because the flower print is poinsettias. Didn't scream "holiday" to me, so I decided to go with it. The center of the flowers are khaki, so it worked out.




Yeah for labels.....I'm a geek....



And finally, the wall storage holding all the crap that was on the floor gathering golden dog hair. There are two of these. I think I am going to paint them white. Jesse spray painted them green before I had decided to change the curtains and make a whole new color scheme, but beyond that, the green paint looks way more forest-green than I had anticipated. Oh well, for now, it does the job, and I won't have to worry about picking dog hair out of my sketchbooks anymore. That is happy.

School, Jobs, and Rodents Revisited

My classes were cancelled today because my instructor is sick (I am in a couple of classes with the same instructor.) So, I came home, just finished getting caught up with my online class, and will try to finally finish organizing our office this afternoon. It's been a slow going project.

I had a job interview yesterday morning. It's for office work at a counseling center. If I actually get the job, I won't ever talk about it, because I'll have to sign a confidentiality deal, but for now, let me say this. After the interview today, she called me back to schedule a second interview later this week...but get this - It's with all of the psychologists at the office. So, imagine, not only an interview with a half dozen people all staring at you, but all of those people are trained in psychology. We'll see. It was hard for me to get a feel of whether or not this was a job that I would really like based on just the interview yesterday. This job doesn't pay well. In fact, I haven't worked for as little as they are offering since before I was married. Mentally, it is a very hard step to go backward like that on the payscale. But, I am somewhat limited with jobs based on my school schedule. I'm just not sure.

Otherwise, we are not rodent-free as thought. Though, we have verified it is a MOUSE, not a rat...which is good, very good. A few days ago, Jesse took apart the dishwasher because it was kind of stinky, so we were trying to see if food was stuck in there or something. Well, he took the bottom plate off, and when he opened it up, there was this huge pile of dog food....like probably 4 cups worth. That little mouse has been taking kibble one by one, and hoarding it under the dishwasher! Anyway, Jesse also spied the mouse in the very back corner, and they stared at each other for about ten minutes, which is how we were able to tell for sure that it's a mouse and not a rat. We are pretty sure there were 2 to start with (since Jesse saw 2 that one day), but one is dead (no signs, and 3 hunks of poison eaten from the last escipade). So, now we think it's just this one guy left, and we think he has just been hanging out under the dishwasher, because he had his lifetime supply of food, plus he had ripped insulation off the dishwasher sides and made a little bed with it. So, we put poison under the dishwasher, and some traps...but the traps made me cry because I was too afraid it would go off while I was home alone, and then I'd see the little guy half caught or something traumatic and I'd have to kill it on my own, and the thought was completely stressing me out, so now it's just poison. We will check in a day or two to see if the poison is eaten, and if so, then I can think we can finally rest easy.

Nature makes me sad. Well, it makes me very happy, but it's so sad how all these animals are just pitted against each other. Cheetah just trying to get a meal, zebra just trying to graze, one has to die. Mouse just trying to live in a warm home, human just trying to live in a clean home, one has to die. Ho hum. Can't we all just get along?

Birthday Time

We decided to "celebrate" yesterday because I am in class most of the day on Thursdays, so here are some photos from yesterday.


Jesse relaxing (and hiding from the camera).




I made his favorite (or at least one of his favorites) meal...and of course, we had to have the traditional ice cream cake (aka huge hunk of ice cream covered in magic shell).



He also got to open one of his presents early.


Last winter, Jesse really wanted a "family photo" in the snow, but we didn't get too much snow...mostly just rain and nasty ice stuff. This year, however, we have gotten plenty of snow, and yesterday we got some more, so we decided it would be a good day to take the photo. Getting Horton and Abe to cooperate is always the hardest part...in the end, I think we managed to get at least one shot where we were all facing the camera.


Abe giving some birthday love...

Anyway, today has been more mellow. Jesse finished off his cake today, and has a good start in on the bathroom candy. (Birthday tradition is to decorate the bathroom with streamers and candy while he's sleeping....hmm, all birthday traditions revolve around sugar...) In any case, when I got home from class, Jesse played me a very cute voicemail, so I got to listen to Hallie serenade Uncle Jesse (which he loved).

So, happy birthday, Mr. Handyman Can Fix Anything Makes Me Smile and Laugh is Very Smart and Talented Nikkel! You are my favorite Canadian ever!

Buddhism

I've been thinking about this a lot the last few weeks. I read an article in O magazine. Well not so much an article, but an interview with a Buddhist nun. I don't know terribly much about Buddhism beyond the basics, but something this nun said in the article has really made me think. I'll get to that in a minute, but first, most of the article is talking about being fully present and staying in the moment, which is something that keeps coming up in my life the last few months, in one way or another. Actually, in the article, the nun summed it up well. She said I have a passion for communicating that you can have an appetite for life as it is rather than life as you want it to be. And I suppose in many ways, that is the big lesson I have been learning recently. I am learning to be hungry again and to have an appetite. But instead of feeding on the future, which has always been my flaw, I am learning to feed on the present. I also like another thing she said, about not having to be Buddhist to practice this, and about living in such a way that you remain open, that you never come to decide that you are "right", and I wish there was a bit more of that in Christian circles. I know at some point, you hit absolute truth, but much of what divides isn't really over absolute truth. And seeing everything in terms of right and wrong, my side or yours, seems to have a way or making other people targets instead of humans - targets for conversion, targets for destroying, whatever the case may be. Christian realms seem to get so black and white. I mean, the old church saying "you're either a missionary or part of the mission field", that is just setting us up in such a position of "us vs. them" division. I liked what this nun said, she said ...[believing] the nature of your mind and heart is limitless and openness, free of prejudice and bias...somehow leads to seeing the humanity in even the worst people. Maybe that is what we have forgotten, the common bond of humanity, where even Osama Bin Laden is a man, with emotion, who cries, laughs, and okay...devises evil schemes to destroy America. =) But, still, I think the point is, we are all more alike than we are different.

In any case, back to the point of this post, this nun was talking about how in Buddhism, it follows that one of the major causes of suffering is simply wanting things to be differently than they are now. I've really been thinking about that, and it makes sense in my cushy life, but beyond the walls of myself and my rich world, it starts to falter. I mean, I was trying to figure out how you would describe Darfur in those terms? Taking it further, I started to wonder, what would happen if none of us wished things were different? Isn't there some point where we have to stand up and say that things can be better, and then work for that? I mean, I suppose if everyone practiced Buddhism and was all peaceful and lovey, then perhaps it would work, but the fact is, much of the world isn't Buddhist...so is this belief system feasible in the modern world? I mean, don't we need some call for action too? I guess it goes back to passiveness and aggressiveness. Is it enough to just be a peaceful person and do no harm to those immediately around you? Is that enough? At what point do we pay attention to the areas where no one is acting like that? And what do we do about that? Like I said, I don't really know too much about Buddhism (and I may very well be understanding this concept all wrong), but I just find this to be a very perplexing belief, which makes sense in the right context, but makes me further question our responsibilty and actions outside our own world of self. I guess, my real question is, is it enough to be at peace with yourself? It is if everyone is....but we don't live in a world that works like that, so what does that mean, if anything, for this belief? My bottom line conclusion, I guess, is that it has to go back to mercy. Mercy for the victims, mercy for the perpetrators. Like Bono says Blessings not just for the ones who kneel - luckily. Which, by the way, we saw U23D over the weekend and I have been wanting to blog about the awesomeness of it, but I have been graciously bowing down to let Jesse be the one to blog it....so he better hurry up and do so before I snag it up and tell you all about it.

Okay, well these are my thoughts for now that I am wrestling through...and maybe it's better if I never find an answer.

Super Tuesday

It's Super Tuesday, which means voting day in Missouri. I am really torn with this election...I have been google'ing issues and people and watching debate clips for the last hour. I think I decide, then I change my mind. But, I think this is a good problem to have. For once, we actually have a couple of quality candidates! So many times, I feel like I'm choosing between mediocre and mediocre, or bad and worse. Anyway, I have about two hours to make up my mind, because I'll vote on the way to my next class. I will be anxious to see the outcome. This is a really exciting election, and it's cool to be my age and watching it happen. Old enough to understand the significance, but still young enough to see the effects over the next few decades. The only thing about it I'm not looking forward to is the total propaganda bombardment that will ensue after the Democratic and Republic candidates are locked in. Oh well, small price to pay. I'm just thankful I get to vote.

Donate Some Rice

I have been meaning to post this for a while, and keep forgetting.

If you have free time, are bored, or need to kill five minutes while waiting for the microwave or something, click here (or just go to www.freerice.com) to go to a website where you can play a vocabulary game. The best part is though, for each word you get right, you will be donating 20 grains of rice through the United Nations to go to various areas where hunger is an issue. Sitting down for just five minutes here and there can really add up. The vocab level in the game will adjust harder as you get more words right, and easier as you get more words wrong.

Pictures of "my boys"

I thought it was time for some photos.


Jesse is changing the serpentine belt in our car this evening. Becoming quite the mechanic, as last week he changed the transmission fluid in our Passport (with some help from Rich.)




I asked him to smile for the camera, and this is what I got.




Not a great photo, but I had to include them none the less! (Abe had just gotten in trouble for eating Horton's food, and Horton always hangs his head when he watches Abe eat the food that belongs to him...thus the unsure doggie faces.)

Charcoal Should Be Reserved for Grilling.

Top Reasons I Don't Like Doing Charcoal Drawings:

-You can't get a clean line because it smears all over the place.

-It gets all over my clothes and hands.

-Even when you spray it with fixative, it still smears some.

-It drys out my skin.

-It gives me black boogers (from breathing in the dust).

BAH!

Fun and No Fun

Fun Things:

-Tax refund time is just around the corner, which means we are already dreaming of various ways to blow it. (Just trying to help out our stagnant economy, after all.) Our wish list has been growing. Mine includes a new oven and hood, wood to build a pergola, a motorcycle, a new mattress, wood and shingles for a little deck out front, and a new shed. The odds that our refund is big enough to purchase even just one of those items: slim.

-I thought of some kick butt storage solutions for our office, and Jesse, the handyman, has built them. Two dowel-rod type racks on the wall for canvases and sketch pads, and platforms for the doggie beds that have space to put storage bins under. I am finally thinking "upward" with space in our tiny little house and I can finally see hope that the office may someday be organized and decent looking.

-I met a YWAMer in my color theory class! Let the acronyms fly!

-Home Depot has their seeds out, and Lowe's has all their patio furniture out. Can't wait for spring!! There is a kick-butt patio set at Costco that we really want, but it's out of our price range, so we won't be getting it anytime soon (or anytime later for that matter). It has the fire bowl in the middle of the table, which would be perfect, because I've been wanting a fire bowl for a couple years, but I don't want a low one (due to Horton and Abe), so a table-top one would be perfect. We are keeping our eyes out for a similar model to the Costco one, but cheaper. It might be our anniversary present to ourselves if we can find one. I think a fire bowl could seriously extend our deck days in the fall. Plus, I like smores.

-Jesse's birthday is only a week away.

-Last fall, I saw a jacket at Target that I really liked, but it was almost 50 bucks, and I didn't really need another jacket, so I couldn't justify buying it. A couple months later, and I got the last one on the clearance rack for 11 bucks.

Not-as-Fun-Things

-I am well past the two week mark and those lion wrinkles are still hanging out on my face.

-I am having trouble finding Saltillo tiles (for my pizza stone). Home Depot used to stock them, but when I checked last time we were there, I couldn't find any. I'm hoping they were just temporarily out of stock.

-Horton got out of the yard again. Thankfully, he only made it into the neighbor's (fenced) yard.

-I just realized I have a big typo in the heading of my "little predictament" post, ah, and blogger's spell check isn't working.

Rodent Free

Well, 20 traps, 2 boxes of poison, 1 electronic repellant, and 2 nights with my parents later, we are in a rodent-free home. (Or so we think.) None of the traps Jesse set caught anything, but the poison we put outside and in the crawl space got eaten, and there were no signs of new life. We cleaned like we've never cleaned before, and plan to keep some poison outside under the deck (where no animal bigger than a couple inches can get), as well as a couple other strategic places, so hopefully this will not happen again! Although, through this ordeal, I have heard a million mice/rat stories from other people about their battles. Pretty funny, some of them. (Though I'm sure not funny to them when they were going through it!)

More later...for now, I need to get ready for class.

Operation RAT TRAP

So anyone who read Jesse's latest post knows we discovered a little problem in the kitchen. We were talking the other night, about how it's embarrasing to say you have a rat in your house. It's like saying you have lice. It's not really your fault, and in reality, it could happen to anyone, anywhere, but it just sounds like you are dirty. We clean all the time around here. And the kitchen never has crumbs and crap out. And I know the little rat just wanted a warm place, and since our deck is so low to the ground, we can't see under it near our house, but apparently, there must be a little hole big enough to let something in...like a rat. And our kitchen just happens to have an outside wall, against the deck, so when the little rat got in, he discovered that he had found a nice place to make home. I won't go through the updates of what we have done so far to get rid of the beast(s), since Jesse covered the basis there, but I will tell you a story.

The house has been quiet since the electronic rat repellant thing has been put in, and no signs of life near the trap, and no scratching sounds coming from the wall, so we have been thinking we are heading in a good direction. Beginning to feel somewhat relaxed, this afternoon, I begin in on my homework, which involves cutting, so I had the scissors out. Eventually, I decide I'm done cutting, and it's time to put the scissors away. We keep them in a drawer in the kitchen. So, I open the drawer, and lay them down - when I see movement in the drawer. My hand is still in there, when life goes into car-accident-slow-motion, and I see the rat an inch from my hand. Then, life suddenly speeds up again, SCREAAAAAAAAMMMMM and withdraw hand, whilst jumping back three feet and watching the rat run behind the drawer.

Needless to say, the problem is not solved. Thankfully, the other night, we pulled all of our silverware out of the drawers, just in case. I have to go to class soon, but when I get home tonight, we are launching Operation Rat Trap. I'm pulling everything out of the kitchen and putting a trap in every drawer, every nook and cranny I can find, and then I am bleaching the snot out of our house. Rat gestation period = 19-22 days. Mission must be accomplished ASAP.