Grandpa Abe Part II

Abe's cart arrived earlier this week, and Jesse and I were very excited. We have been slowly working with Abe getting him used to it and making the adjustments so that it fits him right. Usually, it comes shipped fully assembled set to your dog's measurements, but since we got it used, the guy took it apart to ship it, and also, everything that was still together was set for his dog, so we are still figuring out how to get it right for Abe. He has been very patient as we put him in and out of it and change it around. He has gotten a ton of treats in the process, and now he equates the cart with food. As soon as we put him in it, he starts looking up and sniffing our hand, trying to find his treat. We have only played in the backyard so far because we want it to be a perfect fit before we take him on a longer walk with it. I think we got the back part right, and now we are working on the front harness part. Anyway, here's some pictures.

This is when it first arrived. Abe inspected the shipment, as he always does.


He's not too sure what to think of it...


We would hold treats out just a few feet in front of him so that he had to take a couple steps to get to them. When we first put him in it, you could tell that he thought he needed to be very still, so the treats definitely helped him to learn the concept of moving while in the cart.


I have a million captions for this photo, most of which revolve around remedial class, but I'll let you make your own:


Okay, so my intelligence level is also doubtful at times...

Yard Stuff

Just because I like flowers.

Post about N turned to randomly missing Kona...

We talked with N and his mom tonight. We e-mail and talk on the phone here and there, but it had been a while since the last time, so it was nice to get an update this evening on how they are. Sounds like they are still doing great out there. His mom sounds so much happier and less stressed. It makes me so happy for N. It's funny how you can see kids developing even when you aren't in person. Even just by hearing him on the phone, I could tell he is getting older (and I'm not talking about voice change - I'm talking about things like reasoning/thinking skills, communication skills, stuff like that.) He sounded so much more mature, and it's been less than a year since they moved! I can't imagine how he will grow and change in the next few years. He is such a bright kid, so much potential. I hope life hands him opportunities to make good on it.

Otherwise, summer is in full swing here. Lawn mowers humming, air conditioners clicking on and off, bug bites all over my legs...I love it! I don't know if Jesse and I will ever find a way to reckon our climate differences. He would be content with mountains and snow for most of the year, and I would much prefer to drip sweat and feel lethargic while eating a popsicle. I keep telling him, the big island is the only place in the world with all climate zones. =) I remember going up Mauna Kea when I lived there, and starting out in shorts and a tank top, then slowly layering up as we got higher. By the end, we were wrapped in sleeping bags, standing on snow, and watching the sunset from above the clouds. Kona was the one place that I actually liked to camp. We used to go on the weekends a lot. They have laws that no one can own beach property, so technically any beach on the island is public property, which is really awesome when you want to camp or swim. I miss all the stuff to do there, and an active lifestyle in general. Even though I was there for almost a year, I only knew Jesse for about 3 weeks of that time, so we never really got to take advantage of the hiking and camping stuff together. In fact, I don't think we even went to the beach together. The first time we got together, we were going to go snorkeling, but it was kind of a cloudy day, so we ended up going to Borders instead. And then after that, one of us was either in class or on work duty, so we would usually just walk to the sea wall in the evenings and watch the waves. Usually with a blizzard or shaved ice in hand. =) Anyway, I am determined to someday go back there with him so that we can actually see the island together. Maybe on our 10 year anniversary.... only 3 1/2 years away. Hmmm..this makes me want to go find my photo album from then, but I just realized, I think it's at my mom's house in my old bedroom closet. I have been meaning/needing to get up there and clean it out so that she doesn't have all my junk, but haven't gotten that far yet. I should do that soon...and if I find any fun pictures from back then, I will post them. I wish I had them now!

Grandpa Abe

We have decided to get Abe a wheelchair, or "cart" as they are called. (Don't laugh!) His back legs are getting worse and we don't get to walk very far now when we take him and Horton. However, we don't want to stop taking him, because I think the activity is helping him stay healthy. When we first got him, he had spent a couple months in the pound, and his joints were so bad. He would pop and creak every time he moved. After a few weeks of walks though, and being able to move around in the house with us instead of being in the little pen at the pound, it was like he aged backward. His joints had a better range of motion and he had more energy, so we want to keep him active as much as possible. Granted, it's a very slow activity at his age, but activity none the less. Anyway, we used to joke that one day he would need a wheelchair, but the joke has become reality now. Doggie wheelchairs are quite expensive because they are custom made to the measurements of the dog. Instead of buying new, we found a used cart that fit Abe's measurements which brought the price down into a more reasonable range for our budget. We were really lucky to find a used one that fits his numbers. It is being shipped to us, so it's not here yet, but I'll be sure and post some pics of Abe in his cart after we get it. When in the cart, he will still be able to use his back legs, but the pressure of his weight won't be riding on his hips anymore.

Here is an example of a dog using one:

Photo from eddieswheels.com

There's the harness up by the neck and then it's like a figure 8 piece where the legs go into the cart.

As we are finding out, there is quite a market for pet carts. They even have cross country ski attachments, front leg carts, counterbalanced carts, pretty much everything! We don't plan for Abe to use his cart around the house, just when we take him out on walks or down to the dog park. I hope he adjusts to it well. From stories we've read, most dogs love them once they realize that when they are in them they can run and walk again. They can even swim in them, though Abe hates the water, so I doubt he'll be taking advantage of that feature! I just hope he takes to it well.

I know it seems so silly (and maybe even ridiculous and out of whack) to some people, but to us, it just seems like the right thing to do. I know he's "just a dog", but I know he would fight to the death to protect me and make sure I am safe. Knowing his loyal heart, I can't help but want to be loyal to him too. He has brought a lot of good into our lives. We are pretty sure he and Horton have helped prevent our house from being broken into, and when Jesse has been working nights or early mornings and I'm sleeping at home alone, I feel so much comfort when I hear Abe snoozing on the floor next to the bed. And he makes me laugh almost every day with his personality. Some people say dogs don't have emotions, but I don't think those people have ever lived with dogs. So to me, Abe is part of the family and if I can make his life better and longer by giving him a little boost when he needs it, then I will.

Plants and Stuff

Today, I planted some petunias, 2 honeysuckle vines, and a wisteria vine. I have been waiting all season for the honeysuckle to be in stock, and today, I finally found some! I was very excited, and then even more excited when I saw wisteria next to the honeysuckle because I had been searching all over for wisteria earlier this season and had given up. In any case, the honeysuckle plants are for the front pergola and the wisteria is for the back pergola. I also have about six or seven tomato plants that my Grandma gave me yesterday at the panty party. I was planning to get them in today, but ran out of steam after digging the holes for the other plants. Probably better, because I need to do some rearranging in my beds to make space for them anyway. Hopefully I will get to that sometime this week.


My lettuce and spinach bed...with another type of "head" being silly.

Picking some strawberries.
There are lots of strawberries, but they are relatively small. I wonder if they will get bigger as my plants get more mature? Jesse is the strawberry guard. The birds have discovered the plants and have been snacking on it, so when Jesse sees them, he goes running toward the bed, yelling "caw caw". It's really funny.
This is the wisteria I put in today (and Horton trying to get Jesse's attention). Check out how big it is already!! I am hoping that by late summer, the pergola is at least half covered so we can get some shade on the deck.
A couple days ago, I finally started painting all of the furniture that we got a few weeks back. It was a pain in the butt to paint because there were so many boards, and so many angles. I got both chairs, the table, 80% of the lounger, and a tiny bit of the bench done and then started whining about how sore my back was, so Jesse jumped in and painted the rest. (I am sure his back was just as sore though, because he was working on other projects while I was painting!) Anyway, this is the lounger. I say not too shabby at all for free furniture! (Well, almost free..we did buy the paint and new cushions.)

And last but not least, all my boys hanging out.

Panty Party

Today was the bridal shower for my almost sister-in-law. The theme was "panty party" and all in all, I think it turned out pretty well. There ended up being somewhere between 15 and 20 people. I've never had that many people in my house at once, and shockingly, we all fit! It was so nice to have my mom and step-mom helping. I think I would have felt a little lost without them! I realized I've never hosted any event besides small dinner gatherings for friends and family, but that is usually 6 people tops. I really like the idea of entertaining, but this morning, I did have a brief moment of panic when I realized that not only had I never hosted this many people, but also, most of the people that would be coming were complete strangers to me (her family, friends, etc). So having my mom and step-mom here was a really nice way to ease my way into things and not feel totally freaked. And having Jesse's support was great too, because not only did he help me clean the house and get the backyard all cleaned up nice, he also took Horton and Abe away for the day so that I didn't have to worry about dogs trying to eat people's cake or generally rubbing up against people who don't love dogs as much as I do. So thank you Jesse!!


I made another fondant cake. I wish I had more special events to make cakes for, because I really like playing with dough. My piping didn't turn out as nice as I had hoped, but I will keep practicing!


We decorated in pink and white. Pink is my sis-in-law's favorite color.


One of many funny gifts...

Nothing in Particular

I cashed in some of my points from our debit card reward system, and got an itunes gift card. Today, I downloaded In the Name of Love: Africa Celebrates U2. I now have "monkey monkey me say, monkey monkey me say, why you kissin' my pole" stuck in my head (though I am quite sure that is not what they are saying...it's Swahili maybe? I don't know. Some parts are English, some are French, and I'm not sure about this other language.)

I only have one week until summer classes start. Not ready for that. At all. I'm debating about dropping a class or two. I'm nearing burn out stage, which means I probably need to take a break, but also means I want to push even harder to just get it done. Not that I don't enjoy it. For the most part, I do, but my brain is completely ADD when it comes to art. I get really into some medium, go insane with it, and then get bored, toss it aside, and want something new. Right now it's sugar art. And talking to me right now, I would say I love it and could do it forever. But, it's like those junior high girls. But, with him it's different. I mean, I've never felt this way about any other guy before, and then three months later they are saying the same thing about another guy...except insert acrylics, printmaking, or any other type of art for "guy". Oh well. For the time being at least, I am basking in the world of sugar art and planning to marry it.

Next weekend, I am having a bridal shower for my soon to be sister-in-law. I'm hoping the weather is nice enough that we can be outside since our house is tiny. I still need to get her a gift. It's a "panty party", so maybe I can find some cute pajamas or something. Speaking of, every time I go into the lingerie section, I am baffled by 18 hour bras. I have never understood the concept. When I was a kid, I would see commercials for them, and I always thought it must be like Cinderella...when the clock strikes and those 18 hours are over, poof - saggy. Needless to say, I'll never buy one of those...

Other than the bridal shower, it's just work this week. OH WAIT! I forgot, Jesse and I have couples massage on Wednesday. I'm so excited. Remember how I told you my boss said he was giving me a bonus, well he gave me a much bigger than expected bonus in the form of gift cards to this nice spa, as well as Lowe's. (He knows me well!) Anyway, so Jesse and I are getting massages and with the Lowe's, we decided to get some new light fixtures. My boss would be very happy with that, as he insists that lighting is "the jewelry of the home". We've been really blessed with these "extras" popping up here and there that have allowed us to make upgrades to the house or just go out and have a relaxing time together.

Which actually, we have a slight crunch in the vacation plans. Our "Bush bucks" were less than expected. Figures...should have read the fine print before assuming we'd get the full amount! It was either $1200 (which would cover vacation and leave us some spending money for while we are there) or our "tax liability", whichever is less...and we got the less. =) So, we will need to decide if we should change the vacation plans, delay them, or if we can save up enough to cover the shortage. We have talked about it, but so far the only conversation has been "Hm. We should decide that." I imagine we will either find a way to come up with the money, or just push back the dates to give us some time to save up. Either way though, I'm still holding out to see Mickey at some point this year.

All in all, that's about it...

The End

I talked with an old friend from Mercy Ships today. Haven't talked with him since our last day there. It's so timely, because last week, I was really thinking through our time there again and just trying to get some sense of closure or some sense of clarity about what exactly happened and what exactly I feel about it all. So, today was a nice test of sorts when the opportunity to chat with him came up randomly. I got to say some things I needed to say, and it ended up being really good. I've come to realize, the only thing I actually regret about our time there was not having the strength to stand up for myself, or not having someone in my life who would stand up for me when I needed it so desperately. I was so young (not that I'm terribly old and wise now), but I really didn't know any better during that time in my life. I took what was piled on me, and I trusted that when the weight was too much to bear, it was my fault, not anyone else's. Now I know better. And all the stuff that happened that hurt not just me, but others in a really deep way, wasn't anyone's fault in particular. There are things that I could have and should have done differently, and things others could have and should have done differently. It's a shame that it all went down the way that it did, but it's not beyond repair, which is maybe what I had confirmed today. And somehow, more than five years later, I finally feel free about the whole ordeal. I really didn't think I would ever have that. It's weird. It's like part of my future is opened up again. I don't quite know how to explain it. I know this whole paragraph is probably odd to most, as neither Jesse or I have shared with anyone the full on details of everything that happened during our time with Mercy Ships, but for those who saw us walk through it in any capacity, I think you know that it killed something in each of us and very radically altered our entire life path. In a sense, it defined so much of us as individuals and as a couple. So, to have any piece of whatever might have been lost during that time back, is very sweet and I find myself having trouble putting words to it...the only way I know how to explain the feeling is by imagining that you had lost something that you loved so dearly - a child, a person - and had made as much peace with never seeing it again as you could, only to have it show up again one day. The return is sweeter than honey from the comb. So this, my friends, is finally how the Mercy Ships story ends.

Backyard Stuff

The pergola is all stained now and I am very happy with how it turned out. I still need to plant some wisteria to grow up it, but it is pretty much done besides cleaning up.

The lettuce is coming in very nicely. The spinach is coming in, but much slower and smaller (see back row in the photo). I am so anxious to have my first garden salad of the summer.
This is my herb bed. The chives are getting ready to bloom, and the oregano is looking really good. The lemon balm is causing me a bit of trouble. It's growing...but a bit too well. It has reseeded itself and if I don't stop it, the entire bed will be full of it within two years. See all the little green sprouts on the bed...that's all new starts of lemon balm. Not sure what I am going to do about that yet. It is a pretty plant, it smells nice, I can use it in tea and recipes, and it makes nice accents in bouquets, so I suppose having a lot wouldn't be so terrible, but I want space for my other herbs. I put in lavender this year and still need to add my basil.
Mmmm....those flowers will be strawberries in just a few weeks....

Day 2 Without Electricity

I like electricity. A lot. You never realize how much you count on it until it's gone. I'm using the little generator thingie again to blog, but odds are, it won't last too much longer. I really thought we'd have full power back by now. Oh well. Last night, I went to First Fridays with a friend. (First Fridays is each first Friday of the month, where all the galleries in the area stay open and let people browse through and what not.) On my way home, I went by the grocery store to get milk and a bag of ice. Jesse and I can do without most foods, with the exception of Frosted Mini Spooners. If we don't have those in the morning, the whole day is bad. So, milk was a must. Though, when I got up this morning to have mine, 90% of the milk bottle had leaked into the freezer. Hm. Anyway, driving onto the street last night was creepy. It was so dark. I'm so used to the street lights. I showered by candlelight, (though it definitely was not as romantic as many body wash commercials may portray it to be.) On the bright side, because all of our food is spoiled, and there is now milk all over the freezer, the fridge will get a really good spring cleaning! I am not sure what to do with myself the last day or so. Yesterday, both work and school were cancelled for me due to the storm. (My boss was flying in, but got diverted, so he wasn't around yesterday), and then there was no power at the university, so they cancelled all classes. I was supposed to work today, but my boss just called and cancelled again because obviously it's been crazy for them with his flights getting messed up, and since they also live in the storm path, they've got a huge mess to clean up outside also. Soooo....here I sit...hoping to see a man climb up the power pole soon.

Nikkel Adventures: Tornadoes and Mouse Revenge!

I am blogging with the help of a generator that Jesse has for outdoor photo shoots. Otherwise, we have no electricity in the house. Last night we had some major storms. We are really thankful that our house is still fully in tact, because just a few blocks north and to the west of us, there are houses that got completely torn to shreds. Most had the roofs and/or 2nd story torn off, but one house actually came completely off its foundation. We seriously missed it by less than a half mile. Thankfully, I don't think there were any deaths, just a ton of property damage. Our house didn't get any major damage...we do have a downed power line in our backyard, our swing blew over and got torn up a bit, and our neighbor's tree is down in on our front yard, but all things considered, that is pretty stinking good! Not sure when we will have electricity again. When Jesse called the power company, they said there are about 40,000 houses without power and they could not give an estimate of when things would be fixed, so looks like we may be in a long line for the time being! Anyway, so that was last night's adventure. Not much sleep happening around here!

Our other recent adventure, well, actually this was more Jesse's adventure at which I laughed and took photos while feeling terribly sorry for him. He went down into the crawl space to check out some wiring down there and things were all well and good....until I suddenly heard yelling, looked over at the hole in the ground, and saw Jesse fly up out of it in a single bound. (Trust me, no small feat.) He had seen something dead in the corner, which we instantly knew was a mouse. Jesse isn't a fan of mice or snakes, so I offered to go down and be the one to get it, but he insisted that he would take care of it. So, he began suiting up. He put on his work coveralls, then began duct taping every place where anything could get in his clothes and crawl up him. I was trying my best to hold back laughter, but didn't do a very good job. After getting all duct taped up, he put on his respirator and grabbed a shovel (to pick it up with) and a bucket (to put it in) and then quickly informed me that we would be buying a new bucket and disposing of this one. A few minutes later, and he emerged triumphant. I was very proud of him because this is seriously one of his biggest fears come to life and he handled it so well! Anyway, this, we figured, was the mouse's revenge from our escapades a couple months ago. We went through the house and there were no new signs of them being inside here, so we figured maybe the one that had taken up residence under our dishwasher decided to move into the crawl space after Jesse scared the crap of it by trying to shop vac it up when he saw it. Jesse made yet another trip to Lowe's to buy poison and spread a bunch more in the crawl space. He thinks they were getting in near a hole where the air conditioning unit stuff runs into the house, so he also put screen and boards over any little crevice he could find. Hopefully this is the last of our rodent ordeals.

Check out the man in action!!

Life Is Good

Yesterday was a full, but really fun day. We woke up at 7 something and headed over to a nearby neighborhood to do some garage sale shopping. We ended up getting some wooden patio furniture for free. Needs a board or two replaced, and a fresh coat of paint, but otherwise, it will do just fine. While we were finishing up there, my boss called wanting to know if I could run some errands. So, we dropped back by home, and then I took off in search of 12 yards of zebra print fabric and some other stuff. I had some trouble finding it and was getting worried, when I happily came across some...but not enough. Thankfully, it was a chain store, so I was able to have them call the other store and hold the rest of it for me until I could pick it up. Anyway, I ran back home to grab a bite for lunch, and realized that there was just enough time before class to run to Lowe's with Jesse and pick out cushions for the patio furniture we found earlier at the garage sale. (A new Lowe's just opened up right by our house, and we got a stack of coupons, so we've been going numerous times daily and using the coupons.) So, we got cushions and I headed to class. We're doing portraits right now, which is pretty funny. We have to use one another as models, and many times, you find yourself just hoping you don't actually look like what is on the paper! Anyway, after class, I headed home and then spent a good hour or so on the phone with tech support for my online Spanish class. (For some reason, my recordings were not submitting properly, so I was getting all 0's on my work because my professor couldn't hear me at all.) So, got that solved finally, and then I jumped in the shower to get ready to go to this DIFFA event that my boss had invited Jesse and I to. DIFFA is a design foundation set up to benefit AIDS and every year, they do this dinner where local designers and various people in the art circle do these grand tablescapes. Then, they sell tickets to the dinner for over a hundred dollars, and all the money goes to help with AIDS right here in the city. Pretty cool. Anyway, so they were having a preview party where you could get in to see the tables and stuff, but not actually attend the big main, expensive event. So anyway, my boss(es), very generously paid for us to go with them. (Side note: I say boss, meaning really either of the two guys I work for. Technically, I am a contractor who works for either of their two separate businesses at any given time.) Anyway, so we went, had cocktails and hor'dourves, and got to see all the tables, which were pretty cool. I'll post some pics below, but just to give you an idea, the tables could be decorated with anything - one was themed in toilet paper (which Jesse and I voted to be the most fun table to sit at), one was all recycled materials, one was all paint chips, some are just purely elegant with beautiful floral arrangements, etc. So, it's just a wide mix and anything goes. (Another side note: In the past, my boss has donated his time/talents to do a table, and mentioned that he would like to do it again next year - which means, that I will get to help...FUNNESS!!!) Anyway, after that, they invited us to go to dinner with them, so we ended up going to this relatively newer restaurant that is pretty pricey. Once again, my super awesome and generous bosses picked up the tab, and finally around 11:30, we decided to wrap up the night...and I crawled into bed right around midnight....and then I woke up this morning feeling totally wiped with a very sore back. (What moron invented high heels anyway?) Upon waking up in this state, I declared myself an official old fogey who should not a) stay up past eight o'clock or b) eat or drink anything except maybe warm milk and geritol at night.

Anyway, it was a fun day and I find myself caught up in delight at the good things I have in my life right now. The extravagant generosity of God is enough to make me blush.


Waiting to go into the event...Jesse and I were talking about this background thingie, because it reminded us of the backgrounds that you see at Hollywood events where the stars pose in front of it so that sponsors can get their logo plastered in magazines.


These next ones (by the way, all of these were taken on a camera phone, so they aren't so great....especially the last one which I took that is super blurry.) are of the paint chip table. And the bottom one is Jesse looking at stuff.

Pergola Progress

Just needs stain on a few more boards...

Around Here

As Jesse mentioned, he is on vacation this week. It's only been two days so far, but I am really enjoying having him around more. No 3am alarm clocks, no worrying about being up past nine o'clock...I could get used to this. Anyway, Jesse started working on the back pergola today while I was in class. I plan to help out tomorrow as soon as I am finished with school stuff. I only have three weeks left this semester, which I'm pretty happy about.

Working hard....


Still working hard...


Break time....


Not working so hard... (but look at the snow fountain cherry tree all in bloom!!)

Mickey Won

So much for international travel....we decided to go back to Disneyworld. (Yeah!!!) Last year, we were at the Caribbean Beach Resort, and this year we decided to try to Port Orleans Riverside resort. I just got off the phone booking the dates, and we got the free dining plan again...yippie!! Now I just need to wait until September...

Me and Horton

Horton and I have decided that we are going to start doing some races together. Last night, we began our training for the Dog N Jog in June. Horton is very interested in doing the two mile run, but I told him we will have to see how my training goes, seeing as I can only run about two yards right now. If that doesn't pan out, we may do the 2 mile walk, or the 1 mile run. I have actually been wanting to do a 5k or something, but it's really not that appealing to me to run alone, and I'm not convinced I would stick with a running group due to our weird schedule. However, running with Horton is a lot more appealing, and he is a great partner. When I start to slow down, he keeps it up, practically pulling me along to keep me going. Plus, he helps me feel a bit safer when I am out and about running paths by myself. If we like the race in June, we are eyeing Strutt with your Mutt for a fall race, though that one is just a walk. Still, these doggie ones are much more appealing than regular races to me. I am pretty sure the crowd will be pretty non-competitve and fun-loving, and we may have frequent stops during the race to pee on things and sniff other dog's weiners. That's a good time right there.

So What?

I can't decide if I am happy or sad today. I think it's the weather. Sunny - cloudy pouring rain blowing wind is a tornado coming - sunny. Mother Nature isn't sure and apparently, neither am I. As I was walking to class today, I was watching all the worms who are out of their holes, looking for a drier place. Silly, but it seemed so triumphant when I saw one who had made it to the pavement, safe from the underground flood. I wonder how nature can be so beautiful and cruel all at the same time. I overheard someone in one of my classes say she doesn't care about global warming or environmental issues, that the ice caps can melt, and she'll just watch the waters roll in. That is all well and good, but the thing is, we're making decisions now for the future generations. Global warming isn't even so much about us, for we'll all be dead by the time the effects really hit hard. It's more about a connectivity between time and people. And I'm not looking to debate whether global warming is or isn't true; I'm more wondering about the human race I guess. How is it that we are so into ourselves, yet have such a capacity for empathy and compassion? I mean, comments like this girl in my class - I've made them before, and I've heard plenty of other people make them before. I remember after 9/11, the very day after, I was at work, and a girl said "Turn off the stupid tv. I don't care about that. It doesn't affect me." But yes, it does. Have we become so blind that we don't realize that any human problem is our problem? I just struggle with this. I told you I saw that play, Nine Parts of Desire, and I was chatting with my professor about it. She made a comment that really made me think. She said something along the lines of "I've traveled. I've seen poverty, and those people, really, they are okay. They are happy. But, Iraq, they were like us." As if, through some connection of living standards, it's different. They were like us. That has just been stirring in my heart the last week and I can't seem to get past it. What does that mean? We have all these sayings Education is power. We learn history so we don't repeat it. If education is power, then why do I feel so very powerless about Darfur? And studying history - do we really just mean we study it to make sure it doesn't happen to us? If Darfur were Paris...if Sudan were England....if it was happening to people more like us.... would things be different? Would it all of a sudden "affect us"? Yet, even still, I sit here, wondering these things, and so what? So I think about it. So I know about it. So it still goes on. So what?

Pergolas and Petunias

The pergola is finished. (Well, we need to put one more coat of paint on, but otherwise, finished.) Jesse did an amazing job, as always. This morning, I worked in the yard and got lots of flower seeds planted. I decided this year, we will grow Hyacinth Bean Vine on the pergola, and then maybe next year, we will put in a perennial vine like Honeysuckle. So, the vine seeds are in, and I'm hoping to see sprouts within two weeks. My lettuce, spinach, kohlrabi, and snap peas are slowly making their way up. Just teeny tiny little green sprouts right now. Hopefully this week, we will get the lawn over seeded, and once that is done, then our main outdoor projects left are the back pergola and finishing up planting in the beds (too early for lots of my veggies yet, so that is on hold). I am throwing a bridal shower here at the end of May, so I'm hoping that everything is wrapped up by then so that we can be outside and have the yard looking nice. Plus, when June comes, so does the heat and it's not so fun to be working outside anymore.

We are rethinking vacation plans...we were going to do Disney again. I really want to. I would be fine going there every year. I love that place. But, there is a possibility that my family may be trying to make a joint vacation thing happen in Jan or Feb, which would be at Disney, so we'd be doing back to back, which is still fine with me. But the other thing is that we were going to go in the off season, which is right after school starts to get some really good discounts like we did last year, but it looks like I am going to be taking 4 studio classes this fall, and missing a week of that much studio work would be really insane. I don't mind missing school in general, but studio work is just so much more intense, and as such, gets really overwhelming really fast if you fall behind. So, if we did Disney, we'd need to do it before my fall semester, which would probably fall still in peak season, and Disney would really be miserable in the peak season. The other factor coming into play is if Jesse decides to leave his job in the next year, which is a possibility. We'd lose flight privileges obviously, so we got to thinking that maybe while we have them, we should do an international vacation and save Disney for when we don't have them. You can always find decent prices to Orlando, but international prices are crazy, so it makes sense to do any international travel that we may want now when we still have the passes. So, all that to say, now we aren't sure what we are doing. I admit, I will have a hard time choosing something other than Disney, but it does seem like the smarter thing to do given circumstances in life right now. But, Disney is just the "no-fail" vacation for us. We have a great time there, laugh a lot, there's anything and everything to do depending on how you feel...it's just a really good fit for us. We'll see.

Anyway, here are the pergola/pretty flower pics. (Just imagine a pretty flowering vine growing up it...)



I planned to do all red/orange/yellow flowers in the front (to set off our red shutters), but I caved when I saw these purple petunias yesterday. I wanted the trailing variety, and they didn't have red or yellow or even pink in that variety, so I decided to let a little purple slide on in. Now the theme is pretty much lost. Oh well.

Art and Animals

Can my two loves mesh any better? I don't know where this is, but I would gladly fly across the world to watch.

Today

Today I am happy that my daffodils are in bloom. I am happy that my lettuce seeds have sprouted and I am happy to say it's April. Today I am also worried about student loans. I am disappointed that it doesn't look like I will be graduating at my anticipated date, even if I work my arse off..which I have been doing. Year round in class, 18 hours semesters, working on the side, I've been hitting it hard. Today, I wonder if hard work ever pays off. I wonder if there is anything like justice in this world. Today, I wonder how much is enough. I wonder if silly little things I do make any difference. I wonder if those silly little things are more for appeasing myself than making a social impact. I wonder of all the causes, how can you ever choose which one is best to put resources into? How much is enough? And is there even such a thing as enough? Can the world's thirst ever be quenched? Today, I wonder why abstract ideas rule our lives. Why time and money appear as silly numbers that dictate nearly all of our actions. Today, I wonder if balance exists. If we are ever meant to find it. Balance is stagnant, and tension moves, but is that really the way it's supposed to be? Today it's cold, but the sun is shining.