Serious and Not Serious Stuff

Well, finals are over and I got all of my homework and what not finished up this morning. I am very glad to be done...that is one big stress off, although I still feel a bit "off". I've just been struggling so much lately with purpose and direction. I'm really questioning psychology and art seems to haunt me. A few weeks ago, I had a dream that I went back to KCAI and I was looking for something that I had lost there. I don't think that all dreams mean something, but I do think that sometimes we can "dream out" our feelings, even if we don't necessarily know we have them. Regardless, I woke up feeling very sad from that dream and that seems to have been the starts of my entire search for what in the world I am doing, and if I want grad school or not, and if I'm even in the right major and this and that and blah blah blah, and I am still stuck in all of that blah blah blah. I just wonder if I will ever find the right fit. And this fall, with Jesse going back to school too, I just feel like something will be changing, but I don't know what that is.

Oh well...I'll wait and see I guess.

In the less serious world, I officially decided to go vegetarian. Technically, I am a lacto-ovo-vegetarian, meaning I still eat eggs and dairy. I have been doing it for quite a few weeks now, and surprisingly, I really don't miss meat. Most people I've told immediately ask me "Why?!", with a scrunched up "Are you nuts!?" face on, or they say "Where will you get protein!?" in a somewhat accusing and panicked tone. You would think I had just told them that I am giving up water or something life sustaining. Anyway, so for clarification in the blog world, I will answer these questions. Before I go into why though, let me say that I don't think it's wrong to eat meat, as many people seem to assume that I hold that belief just because I choose not to. I don't think that at all. I decided to do it for a combo of reasons that all added up to enough to make me personally want to stop eating meat, and that is really the extent of it. Some reasons are smaller, some reasons are bigger. For one, I've never been a big meat eater in the first place. Two, there are numerous and substantial health benefits to eating a mostly plant based diet. Three, plant products are environmentally friendly compared to meat products. Four, I very much disagree with factory farm practices, and factory farms supply a very large portion of the meat that I would be eating (restaurants, the majority of meat in grocery stores, etc). Those are the main four reasons probably, with some weighing a lot heavier than others. Anyway, so that is that. I have actually been really enjoying trying new foods. And as far as where I get protein....nuts, whole grains (which I consume mass quantities of), eggs, milk, soy, beans, cheese...all decent to excellent sources of protein that I eat up.

Anyway, speaking of health and diets...Jesse and I went back to the gym today. After our initial consultation deal, they took our info and created a program for us, so today we went around with one of the trainers and learned our programs and how to use some different machines and how to have the proper form and where our heart rate should be and how to breathe and stuff like that. It was actually really fun. Granted, I still had my initial intimidation "I want to get out of here" feeling as soon as I walked in and looked around, but once we got going, I really forgot that there were even other people there. Plus, Jesse and I were given the same program. I guess because we had similar goals of what we wanted. Obviously, his involves heavier weights and stuff than mine does, but we do all the same exercises (minus one), so we go around on the stuff together. It really helps having a partner, so I don't feel so stupid when I forget how to adjust a machine or when I am breathing like an asthmatic bull. I am actually looking forward to going back. Hopefully it stays this way! Jesse was kind enough to buy me a "work-out outfit" complete with new gym shoes so that I didn't have to keep wearing my grass stained shoes that I mow the lawn in when we go. Now once I tone up a little, maybe I will actually look like I belong when we go to the gym!

Anyway, around here, we are pondering when to start in on the kitchen cabinets. We are going to paint them, and although that's pretty minor, it does mean we will need to tape everything off, sand them down, prime them...which will take some time. We thought about doing it this weekend, but time is already getting away from us, so maybe next weekend instead. We are painting them a creamy white color.

After that is done, I'd like to redo the bedroom, but that will be minimal as well. When we first moved in, I loved that room because it's on the east side of the house, and in the morning, the sun would gradually creep in and fill the room with light. We ended up putting up window shades as well as other material over the windows and they pretty much never get opened now, so the room is constantly dark. It's nice for sleeping in and for when Jesse takes naps, but it is also kind of just dim and uninviting and I feel like our bedroom always get the raw end of the deal when it comes to decorating. When we moved in to this house, I told Jesse that I would really like to put some time and effort into having a nice bedroom. Originally, with the sun coming in, I thought it would be nice to do a Kona type theme in there (not like crazy tropical Hawaiian shirt prints or anything, but a subdued ocean type theme). Anyway, we deviated from that idea and ended up going with browns and some reds (I was rebelling against the blue living room walls and didn't want blue anywhere else in the house at the time.) But, now that the living room walls have been brown for some time, I think I could handle some blues and cooler colors in the bedroom and I really do miss that sunshine that used to pour in through the window. So, I am thinking of reverting back to the original ideas for the bedroom. It actually should be a fairly simple, cheap, and easy redo. Any paint that I would need, I could mix from colors we already have, and beyond that, it would just be a couple yards of material and few man hours. Oh, and maybe a plant.

Anyway, I should be done with the blogging. I have been trying to get to bed at a decently early time to help make it easier for Jesse to get to bed early because of his insane morning work hours. Although I will definitely never make it onto the exact same weirdo schedule he has, I am trying to at least somewhat align, and as such, it's technically past my new bedtime.