Observations on Marriage

I thought this was an interesting paragraph in my sociology book:

In premodern Europe marriage usually began as a property arrangement, was in its middle mostly about raising children, and only in the end was about love. Few couples in fact married "for love", but many grew to love each other in time as they jointly managed their household, reared their offspring, and shared life's experiences. Nearly all surviving epitaphs to spouses evince profound affection. By contrast, in most of the modern West, marriage begins being about love, in its middle is still mostly about raising children (if there are any children), and in the end is - often - about property, by which point love is absent or a distant memory.

One of the most unexpected things that I have realized since being married, is that a great part of the joy of marriage isn't a feeling of love, but rather, a sense of commitment. Through the commitment, comes a deep sense of connection, regardless of whether or not romantic feelings are or aren't there. I don't know why that surprised me. I guess because all you do hear about is love...weddings are about love...and love this love that. I mean, nothing against love, it's obviously a very great and powerful thing, yet love in the romantic sense that our society uses it in, is not at all what marriage is about. The feelings may come and go, and certainly add a sense of excitement to a relationship, yet it's no wonder that relationships based upon this kind of "love" don't last very long and so many people wind up hurt and disillusioned when "love" fails them.

Anyway, so here's to my husband, who pulled the stinger out of my butt in Nicaragua when that bee crawled into my underpants and who never lets me clean up my own puke - your commitment to me brings freedom and joy that a thousand roses could never match.