Charity

Over the last few years, I have thought a lot about "causes" and social justice issues. When there are so many things wrong in the world, how do you decide which one to put your effort into? There are many, many thing that tug on my heart, as I'm sure they do many others. But, the fact of the matter is that I don't have the time, money, or the energy to contribute to every cause that weighs on my heart. In the end, I have to choose.

After having spent a few years involved with various ministries, non-profit organizations, and even for-profit businesses with a "good twist", I decided my giving is maximized when I myself am maximized.

By that I mean, certain efforts I was involved in totally and completely drained me, left me frustrated, and became utterly un-enjoyable. The only reason I kept doing it is that I had committed to doing it, but often times, I was counting down the days until my commitment was over.

Eventually, I pretty much stopped doing all together. I was just burned out, tired, and frankly, pretty much a crabby, pissed off type of person.

Then, slowly the ache came back - I'd hear stories that stirred my heart, learn about causes that I desperately wanted to help with, and found myself really wanting to give back in some way. So, I did another long round of searching for a "fit", which resulted in me trying on a lot of "wrong fits" (and even one, year long wrong fit that I roped Jesse into doing with me...sorry babe.) Eventually, I started heading back to the exact same spot I was in, burned out and tired.

So, I decided to lay off of it all for a while again....but then that ache of wanting to be involved with something came back. With memories of the many failed attempts at "helping" fresh in my mind, I decided to approach things differently.

I decided to be 100% selfish. And it has been awesome.

That sounds bad at first, but it's actually a good thing. This time, when I approached "getting involved", I was highly selective. It had to be something that a) I looked forward to doing, b) I could easily afford, c) I felt extremely passionate about, and d) I could "test run" and easily bail on should I change my mind.

Thus enter a flyer I saw while walking to class one day a couple years ago. A local dog shelter needed people to walk dogs. Even though it got my interest, I didn't jump on it. In fact, months went by and I passed that same flyer dozens of times, each time thinking "maybe". After all, when I had intended to "give back", I was sort of thinking about people, not animals. Even so, I kept it tucked in the back of my mind, since it did fit my requirements: I love dogs, I had been wanting to get more exercise anyway, I was already passionate enough about the humane movement that I had given up meat, I could pick when I wanted to do it, and I could stop anytime I wanted.

Finally, months later, I bit the bullet and gave it a try. And now, nearly a year and a half later, I'm still doing it, and I still look forward to it, and I still believe in it, and I still get energized when I go, and I still regain perspective on my life when I go, and I laugh there, and I don't care how I look there, and my heart is still soft there, and I still cry when a particularly bad story of abuse or neglect comes my way, and I still rejoice when a particularly good story of success, health, and a happy, new home comes my way.

And finally, I feel like I caught of a glimpse of what God intended in our giving. It's a mutual exchange. I'm not giving and receiving nothing in return - thus immediately making it not about charity or about one side being "in need", but about community, about a shared sense of value. I have something to give, but I also have something to receive.

I'm not set up in a place of power or of "betterness", which can easily come when I'm giving without receiving. Instead, because I receive, the giving is made even better.

And that receiving piece is, in my opinion, what makes many charitable causes fail. We don't see that even in our giving, we must receive. I know that's backward from everything I ever learned, especially in Christian circles where it's all about "dying to self" and "giving without expecting anything in return", and yes, it's true that Jesus did do that...but you know what? I'm not Jesus.

I think someone who is God and human and the whole kit and caboodle probably has an upper hand in that he could probably find a way to give any way he pleases, and in a way that never belittles the "other side". But I don't know if us humans can do that, unless we are also willing, and expecting, to receive, because we are far dumber than God, far more self-centered than God, and even in our attempts to "be like God", we have a way of really jacking things up.

I'm beginning to think the most unselfish way of giving is actually seemingly quite selfish, where we do anticipate and expect something in return, for it is this expectation of receiving that expresses our attitude; an attitude in which we are essentially saying that we can learn and grow and be better because of what someone else can offer us. We see that it is not just "me" that has something to offer, but that everyone, no matter their walk of life, has something valuable to give this world, and something we can learn and grow from that can not be found within ourself.

So, all that to say... my conclusion from this is that while there are a million causes worth fighting for, things seem to click best when we choose those causes in which the giving comes easily. That is not to say that it is not a still a sacrifice, but that is to say that it comes easily because it truly is coming from the overflow of our heart.

A silly example of this is my vegan-ness. As Jesse could tell you, cheese was my absolute, most favorite food in the world. I love, love, love, a good sharp cheddar. Feta in my salad...oh a nice Parmesan... and I could tell you about the most amazing Amish cheese and the way it crumbled on the block, but slowly melted in your mouth...oh my goodness, amazing. I always wanted to go to Paris with Jesse and spend a week eating nothing but bread with every single different type of cheese the city could offer. I've never really been a foodie, but cheese was the one food that could literally just make me stop and take in the moment of the taste...

Needless to say, being vegan is a sacrifice for me. But, at the same time, I find it comes incredibly easy. And I can only assume that is because my heart is really full with a love and desire for "the cause". So, in that sense, my sacrifice is coming from the outflow of how I feel in my heart, and that is what I mean when I say giving should come easy. I don't mean that it's not without sacrifice or difficulty.

So now that I have written a load full.... funny, what I had originally intended for this post was to do a simple intro paragraph and then post what I'm getting ready to below. Instead, my intro became a post in and of itself! But, what sparked this was something I read on Wayne Pacelle's blog about charities.

He was asked to give the commencement address for a university in Georgia, and spoke on charities in American life. I thought his words were worth sharing:

Wherever there is some great need in this country, you will find groups devoted to meeting it. Wherever there is some great wrong in this country, you will find groups that are laboring to right it. And what keeps all of these groups going is the commitment of members, volunteers, and donors who could all be doing something else with their time.

The jobs we keep are just a part of who we are. The mark we leave in the world will be seen way beyond the places we go to work. People will see your character in the company you keep, the words you say, and the causes you serve.

I challenged every student in my audience to find something special that mattered to him or her, to find a meaningful calling to fulfill. We are all driven by different passions, but it is that pluralism of interests that, in the aggregate, creates a civil society. Some are passionate about fighting poverty or protecting the environment or combating disease. When we each pursue these passions, or multiple passions, we get closer to covering the whole. As someone who cares deeply about animals, I am so relieved that there are others who share a passion for correcting other social ills or problems.

Well said, Wayne.